Blessed are the peacemakers

As I left the elevator those strong and judgmental words played in my head. I didn't know anything about the relationship between the speaker and the person he so strongly disliked, but the speaker's mind was made up: the other person was not likeable.

I'm sorry to say I've been guilty of being too judgmental about a few people in my life. Both at work and socially I've met men and women with whom I seem to have nothing in common and with whom there was what a friend of mine calls a "chemical imbalance."

The interesting thing is that in some of those cases, circumstances kept us interacting and, in time, I developed a good relationship, even a strong friendship, with someone I thought I couldn't like. I look back on the evolution of those friendships as a lesson - and gift - from God who keeps trying to teach me to see that there is good and love in each one of us.

It's been from these lessons that I have learned to ask God every day to help me see the good in others. Some days my impatience makes that a major challenge, but then I ask God for the hope that I will discover those fine qualities that he knows are there. Father James Keller, founder of The Christophers, used to say that "Hope looks for the good in people instead of the worst."

I also pray for our society which seems more judgmental than ever. I think we're quicker to criticize those who don't believe as we do, and much less tolerant of differences - especially in politics and religion. We seem only too willing to let others speak negatively, even unjustly, of people without a word of protest.

I have deep political and religious beliefs and I expect them to be respected by others, even those who do not agree with me. However, if I ask that respect, shouldn't I give it to others, even if their beliefs are diametrically opposed to mine? Everyone has the right to oppose a political candidate and to work to defeat that person, but we don't have the right to be anything less than just in criticizing them. Others may not practice my Catholic faith, but they're still my brothers and sisters in the eyes of God.

My best friend and I do not agree on everything religious or political. The difference makes our conversations interesting because we respect each other's opinions, so our disagreements don't lessen our friendship. In fact, I believe that discussing our differences makes me stronger in my own beliefs and more able to explain those beliefs.

I have said it here before, but I believe that public discourse is moving further and further from civility. There are sad examples all around us of people suffering because of it.

We have to work hard, each of us, in our everyday conversations to be people of peace who respect others for who they are - children of God - and not be anything less than charitable toward them for what they believe. Peace begins within each of us and grows when we pass it along to others.

- - -

For a free copy of the Christopher News Note: "Positive Attitude, Positive Choices," write to The Christophers, 12 East 48th Street, New York, N.Y. 10017, or send e-mail to mail@christophers.org.

- - -

Dennis Heaney is the president of The Christophers

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