Reaching Out to Siblings of Children Killed Through Procured Abortions

Siblings often times find themselves not able to latch on to either side of the abortion issue

On Saturday, March 10th, we will be having our 3rd "Entering Canaan' retreat day for siblings of aborted babies. This retreat came about as a result of both my personal experience in seeing the harm abortion had done to my living sons( in spite of the fact they were not even born at the time of my abortion), and through meeting many other women and men who had lost siblings and needed a safe place to express their feelings.

P>BRONX, NY (Catholic Online) - One of the most true and profound things I ever heard in the pro life movement came from, Msgr. Philip J. Reilly, founder of The Helpers of Gods Precious Infants. I have always loved Monsignor who I feel really understands the complete picture surrounding abortion. I see Monsignor as a true living saint. For those of you who may not know him, Monsignor spends hours sidewalk counseling each day, outside of "Choices" abortion clinic in Queens, NY

"The reason we go out," he says," is not primarily to save the physical life of the child, though we want to do that, absolutely, but if that becomes our primary purpose we will become limited in what we will achieve  and we are going to misunderstand why God wants us to be there. Our purpose will determine the instrument that you use, so if your purpose is to save the physical life of the child then you are going to measure your success on whether the physical life was spared. But the real purpose should be the salvation of souls..."

There is no doubt the sin of abortion has claimed many souls; souls of the mothers, fathers, grandparents, clinic workers and countless others. The impact of just one abortion is astronomical, never mind that there have been 54 million since Roe vs. Wade, touching countless lives including the siblings of the unborn child, both those born before and after the abortion.

On Saturday, March 10th, we will be having our 3rd "Entering Canaan' retreat day for siblings of aborted babies. This retreat came about as a result of both my personal experience in seeing the harm abortion had done to my living sons( in spite of the fact they were not even born at the time of my abortion), and through meeting many other women and men who had lost siblings and needed a safe place to express their feelings.

Through meeting other siblings and sharing their experiences, they, like those of us who are post abortive, are able to come to a better understanding of what has happened and also to know they are not alone. They also need to address the many feelings surrounding the loss including the anger, grief, guilt, and even the need to protect their parents.

Siblings often times find themselves not able to latch on to either side of the abortion issue. The denial of feelings from the pro abortion side sends them deeper into conflict, while often they find the pro life side judgmental and condemning of the parents they love.

Recently I have been corresponding with sibling, Renee, who tells me: "I am the oldest of 5. Sadly, I've never met the youngest; a little boy (brother number 3) named Joseph Michael. He died by abortion when I was only 10, although I didn't find out 'til nearly 11 years later. My poor mom had to keep that secret for so long  I've known for just over 6 years, and am really struggling with it."

"I've come to the point where I realize that a lot of the issues I have, are made much worse by what I went through regarding the abortion. While I have always been more of an internalizer, this is becoming harder, and I am starting to seek out healing. Easier said than done, I am discovering, as most post abortion support groups only have programs for the parents. It is sincerely my prayer that more awareness will be brought to the suffering of the siblings. My siblings and I have had to silently deal with the pain of hearing people speak ill of women choosing an abortion."

She went on to share, "Also, what didn't come out in my reflection, but is a huge issue for me, is the pictures! I can not handle the pictures that some are so insistent upon showing. Part of me fears I am looking at my actual brother (I'll never know what he looked like) but while I acknowledge that my brother died by abortion, which is a horrible thing, I am not ready for all the graphic pics.I wish they were less abrasive  and more respectful of us post abortive families."

As she shared her feelings I could not help but wonder how many other siblings have distanced themselves from the pro life movement because of our actions. How many of them wonder if the graphic images they see are their brother or sister? How many people have we "aborted" from God's mercy because they have felt judged by our actions, no matter how unintentional?

As we begin this Lenten season and our 40 Days for Life throughout the country, let us not only offer our prayers and sufferings up to spare the life of the unborn, and for those who have been involved in abortion, but also for our own failings and shortcomings. May we, as Monsignor  Reilly reminds us, not limit our purpose, but always remember, the true purpose is the salvation of souls.
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Theresa is the Director of Lumina/Hope & Healing After Abortion, a post abortion ministry under the arm of Good Counsel Homes, founded by Chris Bell and Rev Benedict Groeschel, CFR.  With the Sisters of Life, Theresa also co-developed the healing ministry, "Entering Canaan, a Sacramental Journey to an Inheritance of Mercy". Along with the Sisters of Life and Friars of the Renewal Theresa conducts retreats for women, and men suffering from abortion as well as siblings of those who have been aborted. She also does public speaking and training to educate on post abortion stress. She can be reached at lumina@postaboritonhelp.org , 877-586-4621 or http://www.postabortionhelp.org 

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