Marriage of True Genders and the Rebirth of Civilization

A fruitful peace will proceed from the active communion of self-donating masculinity and new feminism.

NASHVILLE, TN (Catholic Online) - In our modern culture of man-bashing and female domination, how can we achieve a communion in accordance with an authentic understanding of genders - a mutually supportive, life producing oneness in our own families and the greater human family?

It was written in the corporeality of humanity that "a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh" (Gen 2:24). From this genesis we get a glimpse of what humanity was meant to be, a communion taking place between genders that are united in male and female differences, a union that produces life. Humanity, then, "becomes the image of God by communion of persons" (Theology of the Body, John Paul II), or genders. 

Written in the Flesh

When our beloved Pope John Paul II coined the term "feminine genius," he referred in a special way to the idea that motherhood is written into woman at the very basis of her creation, and as women give themselves uniquely, they reflect that capacity for physical and spiritual motherhood (Mulieris Dignitatem, On the Dignity and Vocation of Women, John Paul II).

In the same way, to be a man is to be a father, so that true manhood reflects this capacity for physical and spiritual fatherhood. Physical masculinity and femininity teach us something about how the human genders are to relate to one another, and therefore to God.

"For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. Ever since the creation of the world his invisible nature, namely, his eternal power and deity, has been clearly perceived in the things that have been made" (Rom. 1:19-20).

In the physical realm, a man is first drawn to what is beautiful and good. He is created to then give away the essence of himself, his seed, to this beauty in order to create new life. It is his urge and his need to give himself away like this, a cooperation that makes use of his inherent bent toward specialization and single-mindedness.

If he does not make this donation, there can be no life. Jesus showed us what that really means by giving to his bride, the Church, his own very essence, and in doing so new life was possible.

Something else was needed, however, for new life: a warm, safe, nurturing place for this essence to take root and grow. A "womb." Jesus first found this womb, this receptivity, in His mother, and then in the other women who supported and nurtured His spiritual fatherhood and that of the disciples He was teaching to be fathers.

Women must remember that men are profoundly affected by the path of their lives, as both Eve and Mary attest. Man must find true beauty, modesty, and sanctity in the woman when he looks for it. It will attract him and direct him to the place where he can give himself in order to produce the most fruit.

The woman must faithfully guard this beauty and sanctity against exploitation or objectification, just as she protects new life in her physical womb until it can safely be born. If she does not, then her beauty is separated from its spirit and purpose and is objectified for the pursuit of the man´s pleasure alone.

The Church has always taught this model: "Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Eph. 5:22-24).

A Spiritual Communion

Man, then, must give himself to the woman: fully to wife and/or Church first, then in a more limited, spiritual way to mother, daughter, sister, and even coworker as he discerns their need. As he images Christ in this way, he ultimately gives himself to Christ through the "woman."

Practically, this means that he does not give himself completely to his job or his hobby or anything else; he reserves his complete self-donation for her only. He does not withhold parts of himself from his wife if he is married, and his Church if he is religious, for his own pleasure. His bent toward specialization and single-mindedness is employed toward this complete self-giving end.

This obviously involves profound vulnerability for him; it is the "nakedness" of Adam and Eve. Man gives himself fully to the "woman." A man is "head" of his wife, not to be lord over her, dominate her, or even necessarily direct her, but primarily in order to give up his body, life, and essence for her and thus create new life.

In order for life to be physically conceived, however, a woman must allow a man to come inside of her. Woman must receive man -  husband, son, priest, father, brother - fully, as he is, faults, temperament, personality and all. She must accept that he is who he is, without trying to change him, direct him or manipulate him.

Instead, she receives him warmly, and in so doing, she becomes a safe place for him that nurtures who he is created to be. Through this receiving, woman seeks to draw out the best of man, just as she does in the sexual act. In this way, women lead men to become all they can be as fathers, imaging the fatherhood of God.

The "Marriage" of Civilization

When the complete self-giving of men is met in marriage with a real receptivity in women, there is fruitfulness, physically and spiritually. While he shares in parenthood, man always remains somewhat outside the process of pregnancy and birth. He returns to productivity, competently and capably protecting the woman.

The woman, meanwhile, turns to those nurturing functions that do not necessarily involve economic production and consumption. Her nurturing vocation takes longer than his productivity. It is "fruitfulness" and requires patience and cooperation; it appreciated, not measured. Her fruitfulness brings the new life to maturity so it can be "born."

Her vocational service to wholeness testifies to the worth of the human person and promotes the health and advance of all of humanity. A woman can earn a paycheck, and a man can do dishes. But a man cannot be a mother, and a woman cannot be a father. Humanity desperately needs the communion of both.

When a woman spiritually aborts or contracepts by refusing to fully receive the man, attempting to usurp him or be "like" him, she rejects the essential force of her womanhood, her ability be a mother. This makes the life-giving man an unwanted intrusion.

When the man, in turn, aborts or contracepts by withholding parts of himself or refusing to sacrifice, he rejects the woman´s inherent fertility and his position as "head," placing himself in effect "beneath" the woman. Their communion is now sterile, fruitless. Physical and spiritual life is unwelcome and prohibited.

The Rebirth of Civilization

Every man helps restore Christ in society by giving himself to his wife or the Church, withholding nothing, and every woman helps restore the Church in society by truly receiving her husband. This model does not preclude healthy boundaries, and therefore challenges man, woman, and society to growth.

In the Gospels the apostles were supported by a group of women both before and after the Crucifixion, and their apostolic works flourished under their invisible support. It will be the same in society. Self-donating masculinity and the new feminism must marry if there is to be peace: the "no shame" of Eden´s vulnerability and nudity (Genesis 2:25).

The responsibility for this marriage and rebirth lies primarily with women who, it seems, have yet to truly receive men, as is implied by the great profusion of productivity on earth in the face of comparatively little fruitfulness.

True feminism is not just about women, it is about the human family. Peace, the acceptance of our own and others´ "nakedness," will proceed from the active communion of masculinity and new feminism among men and women of the earth. From this peace, this communion, will be born a new civilization.

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Sonja Corbitt is a Catholic Scripture teacher, study author and speaker. She is a contributing writer for Catholic Online. Visit her at www.pursuingthesummit.com and www.pursuingthesummit.blogspot.com.

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