In Support of Men: The Genius of Women

How does imitating the rejected model of male domination qualify as progress for women?

BETHPAGE, TN (Catholic Online) - I saw a commercial last night for gym membership in which a man attempted repeatedly to open the lid of a pickle jar, only to have his wife open it for him with a derisive glance. It reminded me of a T-shirt I saw on a young girl recently that said, "Girls Rule, Boys Drool".

In both cases I wondered what would be said if the roles were reversed. Would insulted women boycott that gym for a similar commercial demeaning the strength of women? Would a boy who wore a shirt with a similar derogatory sentiment about women be sent home for hate speech?

Female Domination, the Diminishment of Women

Increasingly, I lack sympathy for women who pontificate about society's double standards regarding gender while conveniently denying that we women have created it. Women who claim the right to sex without love, marriage, or children, yet bemoan that they can't get men to respect them, simply reap the whirlwind after sowing the wind. Haven't we heard the "old wives" saying, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free"?

Why should men be responsible providers and work to support their families when women are determined to do it or want the government to do it? Why should men marry women who live with them and take care of them in every way outside of marriage? Why should men be responsible fathers when women seek single motherhood through fertility treatment, divorce, and custody rulings?

Why, simply for the sake of sacred marital holidays like anniversaries and Mother's Day or a consumer holiday like Valentine's Day, should men feel coerced to celebrate wives who marginalize or belittle them, who laugh at or make "stupid man" jokes at their expense? Could any one of us seriously imagine Mary gathering up her skirts, snatching the saw from Joseph's calloused, creative hand, and taking over the workshop while pointing her haughty finger toward the dirty supper dishes in the kitchen?

I confess our modern double standard makes me sad and angry, because while misogyny is considered a crime tantamount to rape, man-hating is routine, accepted, and even promoted, ostensibly for historical oppression of women by men. The idea is that men are simply sowing what they reaped in ages past. There is some truth to that, but woe to those through whom the judgment comes.

Where we have allowed masculinity to remain, it is called "cowboy" or "caveman" in the most derogatory terms. Women who edify the strength of their husbands and sons are seen as objects of sympathy. Certainly this type of modern "feminism" qualifies as nothing more than the bullied becoming the bully.

The wholesale diminishment and disrespect of men is evident in our society from the heights of academic circles to the trenches of pop culture where examples of strong, virtuous, capable men are either disappearing or nonexistent. The number of men is dwindling at institutions of higher learning. History books eliminate any reference to the brilliance, foresight, and ramrod-straight virtue of our forefathers.

Sitcoms perpetuate a pervasive characterization of men as obtuse baboons who need their wives and children to explain the smallest, simplest matters. Reality shows feature gender confused or hyper-sexualized male adolescents who deride morality, virginity, and simple goodness. This is our mission field, ladies. Are not our men and boys worthy of our support?

Edification of Humanity, the Genius of Women

How does imitating the rejected model of male domination qualify as progress for women? Doesn't it, rather, stifle the "genius of women" which is the inherent gift of women to assert their femininity while simultaneously nurturing the identity of others? Pope John Paul II insisted that, because of a woman's moral and spiritual strength, God entrusts the human being to the woman in a special way (Mulieris Dignitatem, On the Dignity and Vocation of Women, John Paul II).

Women, we must remember that men are profoundly affected by the path of our lives; both Eve and Mary attest to that reality. We must, in the name of Charity, consider that true freedom for women respects the dignity of males as well. The in-your-face ,i>"I can do anything you can do better" attitude is patently false, as our beloved John Paul II explained. We simply do some of what they do differently, and that is what makes our partnership beautiful. What would happen if we saw our colleagues, husbands and sons as co-creators rather than adversaries?

How would we grow personally and individually if we sought, in active demonstrative ways, to build up the masculinity of our own men, and men in general? What could we become, working alongside such protective, robust leadership? We would become like Mary Magdalene, Martha, the Samaritan woman, and Mary Our Mother, women to whom Jesus entrusted some of the most profound truths of His identity and ministry and who changed the world.

This is the vista from a "new feminist" perspective. "How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No, a woman's function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute" ('What's Wrong with the World', G. K. Chesterton). Humanly speaking, to you, I am simply someone. To my husband and sons, however, I am everything, and that, indeed, is feminine dignity.

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Sonja Corbitt is a Catholic Scripture teacher, study author and speaker. She is a contributing writer for Catholic Online. Visit her at www.pursuingthesummit.com and www.pursuingthesummit.blogspot.com.

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