We ask you, humbly: don't scroll away.
Hi readers, it seems you use Catholic Online a lot; that's great! It's a little awkward to ask, but we need your help. If you have already donated, we sincerely thank you. We're not salespeople, but we depend on donations averaging $14.76 and fewer than 1% of readers give. If you donate just $5.00, the price of your coffee, Catholic Online School could keep thriving. Thank you.Help Now >
What if Biblical characters had New Year Resolutions?: A humorous take on the new year
FREE Catholic Classes
Each new year comes with new resolutions that everyone initially believes they will follow through with, but very few actually complete. This year, enjoy some of the funniest New Year's resolutions!
We ask you, humbly: don't scroll away.
Hi readers, it seems you use Catholic Online a lot; that's great! It's a little awkward to ask, but we need your help. If you have already donated, we sincerely thank you. We're not salespeople, but we depend on donations averaging $14.76 and fewer than 1% of readers give. If you donate just $5.00, the price of your coffee, Catholic Online School could keep thriving. Thank you.Help Now >

A painted image of David and Goliath
Highlights
CALIFORNIA NETWORK (https://www.youtube.com/c/californianetwork)
1/1/2020 (3 years ago)
Published in Marriage & Family
Keywords: New Year, resolutions, Twitter, Biblical characters, quotes, funny
LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - Every year it's the same old story. "I'm going to lose weight" can be heard every day as the year comes to a close, just like "I'm going to live a healthier lifestyle" and "This year will be different" can already be heard floating around.
In a humorous move, Crosswalk posted an image of Biblical character New Year's resolutions.
The tweets are meant to be humorous and not serious, such as "Adam's" post, which reads, "Seems like everyone's all about high fiber. Me, I plan to eat LESS fruit next year."
Hilarious Biblical character tweets (Pinterest).

Funny Biblical character tweets (Pinterest).

Humorous Biblical character tweets (Pinterest).

Funny tweets (Pinterest).

Biblical character tweets (Pinterest).

Humorous Biblical character tweets (Pinterest).

Biblical character tweets (Pinterest).
The Huffington Post listed several hilarious New Year's resolutions as well, including, "Just a few more days til I can cross off 'Don't die' from my 2014 #NewYearsResolution Hopefully it goes better than my others" and "my only New Years resolution is to not spend money on food I honestly might be rich by 2016."
What are your New Year resolutions? Tell us in the comments below!
---
The California Network is the Next Wave in delivery of information and entertainment on pop culture, social trends, lifestyle, entertainment, news, politics and economics. We are hyper-focused on one audience, YOU, the connected generation. JOIN US AS WE REDEFINE AND REVOLUTIONIZE THE EVER-CHANGING MEDIA LANDSCAPE.
We ask you, humbly: don't scroll away.
Hi readers, it seems you use Catholic Online a lot; that's great! It's a little awkward to ask, but we need your help. If you have already donated, we sincerely thank you. We're not salespeople, but we depend on donations averaging $14.76 and fewer than 1% of readers give. If you donate just $5.00, the price of your coffee, Catholic Online School could keep thriving. Thank you.Help Now >
Join the Movement
When you sign up below, you don't just join an email list - you're joining an entire movement for Free world class Catholic education.
-
-
Popular Saints
-
Mysteries of the Rosary
-
Saints & Angels
-
Female / Women Saints
-
St. Michael the Archangel
-
Saint of the Day for Sunday, Jan 29th, 2023
-
Patron Saints A-Z
-
Litany of the Blessed Virgin Mary
-
Saints A to Z: J
-
Bible
Daily Catholic
Daily Readings for Monday, January 30, 2023
St. Aldegunais: Saint of the Day for Monday, January 30, 2023
A Prayer for the Gifts of the Holy Spirit: Prayer of the Day for Monday, January 30, 2023
- Daily Readings for Sunday, January 29, 2023
- Sts. Sarbelius & Barbea: Saint of the Day for Sunday, January 29, 2023
- Prayer for the Sick: Prayer of the Day for Sunday, January 29, 2023
We ask you, humbly: don't scroll away.
Hi readers, it seems you use Catholic Online a lot; that's great! It's a little awkward to ask, but we need your help. If you have already donated, we sincerely thank you. We're not salespeople, but we depend on donations averaging $14.76 and fewer than 1% of readers give. If you donate just $5.00, the price of your coffee, Catholic Online School could keep thriving. Thank you.Help Now >
Copyright 2022 Catholic Online. All materials contained on this site, whether written, audible or visual are the exclusive property of Catholic Online and are protected under U.S. and International copyright laws, © Copyright 2022 Catholic Online. Any unauthorized use, without prior written consent of Catholic Online is strictly forbidden and prohibited.
Catholic Online is a Project of Your Catholic Voice Foundation, a Not-for-Profit Corporation. Your Catholic Voice Foundation has been granted a recognition of tax exemption under Section 501(c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Code. Federal Tax Identification Number: 81-0596847. Your gift is tax-deductible as allowed by law.