A Mother's Heart: 'My Own Flock'

Peter wrote to the elders of the church, not to a mother & homemaker. Yet the more I read, the more it fits.

CHESAPEAKE, Va. (Catholic Online) - There's a certain letter I've been reading over and over lately, and the funny thing is, even though this letter wasn't meant for me, the message has hit me between the eyes. (No, I'm not sneaking into mailboxes reading other people's mail!) It reads:

"Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, serving as overseers - not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away." 1 Peter 5:2-4

Peter wrote these words to the elders of the church in relation to their pastoral duties in their communities, not to a mother and homemaker. Yet the more I read it, the more it fits. I've worn a lot of different hats in my life, but I've never seen myself with a shepherd's staff before.

Right now my husband and I have a flock of three, ages 8, 6, and 2. Like most parents, I tend to forget that my children are not mine. They do not belong to me; they belong to God. They are His children, and for a time in their lives, they are in my care, but they share the same relationship with God that I have - Father and child. In that strange and wonderful way, my children and I are equals.

"Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, serving as overseers..." Being a shepherd, like being a parent, is demanding, tiring, and positively unglamorous work. You have to be on your toes and paying attention, because danger lurks everywhere, and the precious - but clueless - little sheep can quickly get into trouble. Following the example of the Good Shepherd, I'm not to be a drill sergeant, a dictator, or a taskmaster, but a gentle caretaker who is willing to lay down my life for my family.

"...not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be..." Children are many wonderful things, but they are seldom convenient, and they do not wait for much. It becomes easy to indulge in self-centeredness and laziness when I think a few too many demands have been placed on my time and I can't do what I want to do. When that happens, I find my attitude shifting from happy-momma-willing-to-serve to irritated-momma-mad-that-I-must. Shepherding under those conditions is a heavy burden to be avoided, not the joyful privilege it is when I am willing.

Jesus is my Good Shepherd because He wants to be, wholeheartedly. I don't care to imagine where I'd be if it weren't so! No matter how often I run off and get into trouble, He willingly comes after me and carries me back to safety. It must be the same for me with my children. They will run off, they will find or create trouble, and I must go after them lovingly, willingly. They demand my attention and watchful eye, but God wants me to shepherd them willingly, and in my willingness He provides what I need.

"...not greedy for money, but eager to serve..." There never was a wealthy shepherd. I doubt there ever will be. We've all seen that statistic about how much it costs to raise a child to adulthood, and the figure is pretty intimidating. With all that money, my husband and I could travel the world and buy a great big house decked out with every luxury and gadget. Yes, having children means we have made material sacrifices, and we'll probably never take exotic vacations. I don't have an up-to-date wardrobe, and I've never been to a day spa for pampering, but I am regularly showered with the sweetest kisses and our humble home is stunningly decorated with masterpieces in crayon. We are bursting at the seams with riches, the riches you can only have when you're willing to serve.

"...not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." It's easy to dominate and browbeat. It takes much more strength to be a shepherd. It's easy to let authority go to your head and become intoxicated by your own importance. It takes dignity and wisdom to be an example to those entrusted to you. No one respects a man who doesn't practice what he preaches. Neither do children respect a parent who dictates rules and hands out punishments while violating the same rules herself. My children want more than for me to tell them what not to do; they want to see in my life that it's possible and preferable to live righteously, even though the world says otherwise.

"And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away." Would you trade an eternal crown of glory for earthly recognition, admiration, power and wealth? I hope to God I wouldn't.

This letter of Peter's also speaks volumes to me in another way; as a directive for and even an indictment against some of what is happening in our society. Who is the flock that is under our care? The children, the sick, the elderly, the uneducated, the disabled, the poor, and the unborn. They do not belong to us, therefore we have no right to decide whether to keep them or throw them away or kill them. They belong to God, just as we do. God has placed them under our care for a moment in time, and He expects us to be good shepherds, serving willingly, not resentfully. We must serve as overseers - not dictators or executioners.

They are waiting for you. Will you answer?

How often today are we faced with the choice to either serve our flock or serve our dollars? Keep more money for ourselves or spend it taking care of those entrusted to us? Is that not one of the central issues facing our nation right now? Caring for the sick, the disabled and the elderly is expensive - will we serve them and care for them as good shepherds or will we leave them defenseless against the wolf?

We're definitely a little short on good examples, these days as well. Power and authority seem to corrupt so quickly, and those who lead by example are growing scarce. Sadly, it seems as a nation we have decided to cling to earthly glory rather than work toward heavenly glory. We celebrate our sins, we crave our own power and independence, and we trample underfoot those who are weaker. What a hideous contrast to the example given us by the Good Shepherd.

He keeps watch all night long and never slumbers. He goes after the one who is lost and does not stop til He has found that one. He carries the weakest one in His arms. The sheep of His flock know His voice and they follow Him gladly. He lays down His life for His flock.

You and I, my friends, are so blessed! Despite being sinful, slow to learn, quick to wander, and just plain dumb, our gentle Shepherd is keeping watch and coming after us time and again, placing Himself between us and the wolf. May we all do the same with the flock in our care.

-----

Jennifer Hartline is a Catholic Army wife and stay-at-home mother of three precious kids who writes frequently on topics of Catholic faith and daily living. She is a contributing writer for Catholic Online.

---

'Help Give every Student and Teacher FREE resources for a world-class Moral Catholic Education'