Pride & Jealousy: What to do when you start comparing yourself to others

Social media makes it extremely hard not to compare ourselves to others. Modern technology has allowed us to track anyone, anywhere to judge and hold up against our own image and our own lives. Do we measure up? Are we pretty enough? Are we popular enough? Are we happy enough?

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Highlights

By Abigail James
4/7/2021 (1 week ago)

Published in Marriage & Family

Keywords: Prayers, Greed, Jealousy, Pride, Comparison, Self-help, Jesus

This unhealthy habit of holding ourselves up against others to be measured is a breeding ground for jealousy and self-loathing. Even if we decide that maybe we are superior in comparison, we begin to sin by way of pride and arrogance. 

Crosswalk.com puts it best ... "Comparing ourselves is a guaranteed lose-lose situation."

We know it's hard not to compare ourselves to others. It's nearly impossible not to get taken in by temptation. This idea of "perfection" is every where and we have to measure up, right? Well, no. We don't. 

John 10:10 reminds us that the devil comes to steal kill and destroy, and opening ourselves up to comparisons is one of the big ways the devil can win. "When we compare ourselves, we allow the enemy to steal our joy, kill our self-esteem, and destroy our relationships," writes Crosswalk.

When you start to compare yourself to others, try to remember: 

Comparison is a lot of work.

It's exhausting constantly comparing yourself to someone else and deciding you come up short. It causes anxiety. Each one of us is wonderfully made by the Father. Every part of us is unique and created that way on purpose. Embrace what makes you special.

"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." (Psalm 139:14)

Compliments are better than comparing

Jealousy can be conquered with kind words. Strong women build each other up. We don't need to tear each other down. Speak life into all souls, including your own!

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits." (Proverbs 18:21) 

Comparison is selfish

When we spend time comparing ourselves to others, we aren't using our time wisely. According to Crosswalk, the Bible teaches us that we are to be in the world, but not of it. Live for the Lord. Be present. 

"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him."  (1 John 2:15) 

Comparison can be dangerous

Comparison can put us into a mindset that allows us to gloss over our own faults and sins. We might start to think, "Well, at least they aren't as bad as that persons." We need to repent the sins in our lives. When comparison becomes a habit, we're more likely to dismiss them completely. 

"The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.  I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get. But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, 'God, be merciful to me, a sinner!' I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other." (Luke 18:11-14)