Children's first vocation directors - their parents

Sioux Falls, South Dakota (Bishop's Bulletin) - Many years ago I had the opportunity to speak with a priest who had quite a reputation as a vocations recruiter. While we sat at lunch a few of us younger priests and seminarians began to ask him what he did to bring about so many vocations.

He told us that he tried to live his priesthood with as much joy as possible and that he long ago gave up any embarrassment there might be in inviting a young man to ponder the invitation of Christ to priesthood.

Over dessert, he said something interesting. He said he always spoke about vocations during the celebration of baptism. He always reminded the parents and Godparents that Christ was giving this child a vocation, right there, right at this moment of new life in baptism. He said he invited those present to rejoice in this vocation, whatever it might be.

One of us asked, "Do the parents appreciate that?"

His response was simple and interesting, "They do at that moment, I just hope they do later."

I was a little taken aback by the question and the response. It had not occurred to me that any parents would not be proud and pleased in their children as they grow up and embrace the life God gives to them.

I could not imagine any parent not being happy to hear their child being called to a vocation, to any vocation. I knew that parents get very excited with engagements, so I assumed that most of them would be equally proud and grateful if their child was called to the priesthood or religious life.

Today, I realize I was a bit young, and a bit naive.

I have come to discover that there are parents who will sometimes actively stand in the way of their son or daughter as they explore the possibility of serving Christ, their brothers and sisters, the Church, as a priest, religious sister or brother. I have sat with young men and women who have cried as they spoke about the pain they feel in their hearts because one of their parents refuses to allow them to be open to the possibility.

I would imagine if I had the chance to ask why, the parent would have their reasons; they would be afraid that their child would be embracing a difficult life, that they would have to face the very real possibility of loneliness in life. When I hear this I wonder what vocation in the Church does not have struggle or loneliness.

Many times the problem some parents have with the possibility that their son or daughter might have a religious vocation is grandchildren, or the lack of them. I know that this can make for a difficult situation and there is no easy answer, but there are sacrifices demanded in every life, in every vocation. All that can really be promised is that their son or daughter will be giving life in a unique and powerful way.

This should be a source of joy for any parent.

Yet, and thankfully, this is generally only a few parents. Most, I have discovered, are open to the possibility that their son or daughter might have a particular religious calling, and this flows from that exact moment of which my priest friend spoke of previously.

These parents stood at the font of new life and promised to raise their child in the faith. This they did embracing their child as a gift and recognizing their role in guiding and blessing the child's life, but also recognizing that the child's life is not theirs. This is a profound and amazing relationship, and a source of blessing to all when embraced in love by parent and child.

In this powerful relationship, the voice of God and the gift of His call is given to be nourished and revealed.

It is a hope that if children are called to the Sacrament of Marriage that they see this vocation lived with love and joy by their parents, and the couples they see around them at Mass. It is a hope that if children are called to the priesthood or religious life, that they would see the joy of these vocations lived out around them in their parish life, but also come to appreciate the gift of self-offering and the gift of love within their home.

Each night, as parents bless their children, each day as they teach them to pray and to listen and to grow, the voice of God becomes clearer, more easily heard. That voice might call them to enter the Church as a bride or bridegroom, or as a religious, or as priest, but the first steps are taken in the domestic Church, in the home.

Last month I mentioned that we are all called to be vocations directors, but in a powerful way, parents are the first, and greatest of all vocations directors. This is both a challenge and a glorious gift.