If You Want An Excuse, You'll Find One

'Your body is a temple.' This phrase began to caress my thoughts and fuse it's way into my life until finally I had to face the truth of those words. 

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span style="line-height: 1.22;">NASHVILLE, TN - I was tired - tired of feeling lazy and gluttonous. I was tired of my jeans being way too snug. Mostly, though, I was tired of making up excuses for myself. 'I broke my leg and had surgery,' I would tell myself and others. Except each time I would use this as my excuse more and more time had gone by since the last time I had used that exact same excuse. It was getting old. Eventually I had to realize it couldn't be my excuse anymore, it couldn't be my easy out. I needed change, not an excuse. I wanted to be fit again, but the truth is, I was scared of having to do the hard work to get back to where I was. I was scared because my capabilities were no longer the same and I was still mourning the loss of my former self.

The first truth I had to accept was, I am not the same. That's right I am not. My physical capabilities have changed. My strength had decreased massively and my cardio had been depleted. I had been broken down in so many ways over the past year - physically, mentally, and spiritually - but I could no longer dwell in that brokenness. I could no longer feel sorry for myself and make excuses, but I knew I could't make the change on my own. I needed to be pushed and I needed accountability. So I signed up for D1 Sports to work my way back into shape and the truth is, I was scared. It felt so odd for me to be scared of a workout. I used to thrive in and feed off of that type of environment, but I was different now and had to accept myself exactly where I was at. That was tough because I was working through way too many insecurities and I'm a competitive person by nature.

So I clung to my little rut as long as I could and went out with a bang just days before starting at D1. I figured I'd do it up "right" and had dinner with a few friends at Cracker Barrel just a few days before workouts started and boy did I go big. I ordered chicken and dumplings with two sides and loads of biscuits, and I devoured it all. I was stuffed to the brim, but hey, this was my last hurrah of eating poorly so I figured, better go big or go home, right? Ice cream sundae to top it all off. Ugh.

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Boy did I pay for it the next day and it was the final straw for my bad habits. Talk about a food hangover. I had an intense migraine headache and spent the whole next day feeling nauseous. Lesson learned.the hard way. Old lifestyle, you had done me so wrong and I was ready for a break up.

The first few weeks at D1 were really, really tough. It certainly has not been an easy road. I am working through impatience with myself because my mind remembers what my old capabilities were, but my body can't quite keep up. It's frustrating - like, make you want to kick and scream and punch something frustrating. But I put on a smile and remind myself that I am tired of feeling like crap. I know the only way out is to suck it up and lean into it hard. Your body is a temple. It's the place that God dwells within, so make it a house worthy for Him to dwell.

In our human nature, we often look to give ourselves excuses for our behavior. We are quick to make up an alibi that is most convenient. We create an illusion that isn't quite reality in order to ease the sting of our poor decisions. But all you have to do is start. One small step at a time is how big changes are put into motion. One small step at a time is how we build our temple.

You'll always have an excuse if you want one. Ditch the excuses and just go for it!

Laughs and Love,Jackie:-)