Author details her secret pain growing up in 'idyllic' times

The "good old days" were not good for everyone -- and especially not for a young girl growing up in Springfield, Mass., in the late 1950s and early 1960s.

That era, when vocations were thriving and the economy was booming, may seem like an idyllic time for many. As teens listened to Elvis Presley and moms stayed at home to watch their large families, one young girl coped with enormous difficulties and emotional pain.

Carole O'Malley Gaunt is that girl.

In "Hungry Hill: A Memoir," she writes about her life from the end of eighth grade to her high school graduation and describes the life that she thinks many did not know she lived.

Gaunt's mother died from lymphatic cancer in June 1959. For the young girl this meant something immediate -- she couldn't go to her class picnic. This, not surprisingly, was just one of many disappointments that were to come her way.

A lot of her book focuses on how important things weren't discussed. Gaunt remembers that no one told her that her mother was dying. People didn't talk about cancer then.

For a person who is obviously gifted with communications, it was tough to be in a world where "no one talks about that."

Gaunt's new life began with her father and seven brothers who ranged in age from 2 to 15. She details the chaos and difficulties that ensued as her family tried to cope with the loss of their mother and the downward spiral of drinking by their alcoholic father.

It is not a bitter book, but it does capture much of the hurt and anxiety she felt during that period of her life. Perhaps her brothers remember things differently but her perspective comes across as one of a young girl who wished the world knew just how much she hurt.

She describes a conversation with a nun who pulled her from English class to ask her how she was doing. She remembers the kindness of friends and family. But mostly, she seemed to live in fear that people would find out about the drinking and the drama that was an everyday part of her life.

The church plays a prominent role in some aspects of her life. Sadly, it is not much of a source of comfort for her.

It is frustrating to read her complaints about her late pastor's Cadillac violating his vow of poverty. (As a diocesan priest he did not take that vow.)

Her book focuses on memories of prom decorating committees, winning a Latin prize and running for school office. Sprinkled in these moments are stories about being berated and even slapped by her father's girlfriend. Her father married the woman who fits the "cruel stepmother" stereotype, according to Gaunt.

She uses some imaginary dialogue between chapters to talk about the future. This seems to stem from Gaunt's playwright experience. It is well done but can be distracting.

After reading the book, one wants to give the author a reassuring hug and congratulate her for having a loving and fulfilling life -- in spite of, or maybe because of, her hardships.

It also makes one take a more thoughtful look around at one's life to see if there are any young people living a secret life of pain.

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Copyright (c) 2007 Catholic News Service/U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops