'It is a constant reminder that we failed God': California pastor confesses to sin that haunted him for 23 years

Pastor Shade Idleman revealed haunting memories of his past

A pastor from Lancaster, California shared a haunting decision that created his 23-year-old "sin." He revealed details of this "sin" in a confession with his article posted in Charisma News.

MUNTINLUPA CITY, PHILIPPINES (Catholic Online) - The California pastor shared his secret confession after seeing a Christian magazine article discussing faith leaders who avoid speaking about abortion because of their fear of public condemnation.

Pastor Shane Idleman of the Westside Christian Fellowship in Lancaster, California revealed in an article that he wrote for Charisma News his decision to agree with his girlfriend's request for an abortion 23-years-ago. The decisions "still haunts" him, he claims.

In his article, he shared the questions and emotions he went through for the last 23 years because of that decision. "What would they look like? Was it a boy or a girl?"

The pastor pictured himself holding his child, he imagines seeing them grow, dreams that often leave him heartbroken.

"Regret is one of the hardest pains to deal with because it is a constant reminder that we failed God, others and the aborted child."

Pastor Idleman shared his opinion about Planned Parenthood. He explained that the group may claim they have minimal emotional scars for the planned abortions that their group performs. However, he believes that women and men involved in these activities feel pain, as a result of the guilt they feel towards completing the abortion process.

Idleman claimed he has sought forgiveness since his decision with his girlfriend. He even went as far as looking for his ex-girlfriend, together with his wife, to apologize for saying yes to the abortion. He asked for forgiveness. "She did the same. This one act of forgiveness brought tremendous closure and peace," he shared.

The pastor was hesitant at first in sharing his abortion story. He explained he almost didn't publish the emotional article, but he feels he could not remain silent. He believes that forgiveness can still be deserved by people who performed or agreed to abortion. There is still redemption despite of this sin.

Idleman concluded his article by encouraging pastors and believers to voice out their views and opinions about abortion. He specifically called on faith leaders to make their voice heard and make their peace over abortion.

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