Miss American Diamonds

How a beauty pageant brought out the confidence in my daughter

A few years ago, Sam, our 20-year-old daughter, showed me a post on her Facebook page. The post was more than two years old. It made me sick to my stomach, and it made my heart ache for my girl. Two girls she considered friends were messaging each other (and Sam). They called her names, and one asked the other if she should kill Sam. The other responded "Do it!" The first typed "Click, click. Don't be surprised if Sam doesn't show up for the first day of school."

NASHVILLE, TN - At the time, Sam blew it off. She didn't take it seriously. But it had a huge negative impact on her self-esteem. Jim and I wondered what happened to our strong, secure girl. Prior to entering high school, she was self-assured and had my "I don't give a rat's tushy what you think about me" attitude. But all it takes is for so-called friends to verbally beat you down (always followed by "We're just kidding!") for a year and you start to question your own value.

Thankfully, Sam realized in the middle of her sophomore year that these girls weren't really friends. She mourned that for a little while, and moved on to people who valued her as a person. It's was a rough few years for our girl. Illness took its toll on her during her junior year, and her grades reflected that.

I am so proud to say that her senior year was amazing. Sam really came into her own. Her swagger is back, her grades are rocking, and she is strong again. During her senior year, she made the decision to attend Southeast Missouri State University, and Jim and I wanted to make sure her confidence level was high, along with her self-worth. That is the only reason I allowed her to participate in a pageant on April 20.

Sam met the pageant's director while volunteering for the Metro St. Louis Cinderella Project, something she had done for three years. While I'm at it, I'll give a grateful shout out to Community Council of St. Charles County. They invite her back each year and build her up. Back to the pageant. The American Diamonds pageant. I was skeptical at first. I've seen "Toddlers and Tiaras." I don't want my daughter to lose sight of her educational and occupational goals and chase after a crown and a sash. But after talking with Barbara James, I said "Yes."

All I can say is "Wow!" Barbara is passionate about empowering girls and young women. She saw something in Sam when she invited her to be in the pageant. Sam, you have to understand, looks nothing like a typical "beauty queen." She is beautiful inside and out. She is 5'9" and worries that she has to buy clothes in bigger sizes than she did when she was 5'6" last year. Her hair is short and red, and her favorite piece of clothing is a tank top.
 

So, on Saturday, April 20, Sam participated in the first ever Miss American Diamonds pageant. She took first runner up in her age division and won the talent portion. Her talent? A monologue performed on bullying. I'm not exaggerating when I say you could have heard a pin drop during her performance. The audience was truly moved. 

She had a great time, and per our agreement, knew that the first pageant was going to be her last. So imagine our surprise on Sunday morning when Barbara called.

"Sam, as you know, I was not a judge, and the judges' decision stands," she said.

I was confused. Well, of course the judges' decision stands. Sam was quite happy with her three trophies.

"But, Sam," Barbara continued. "You are the type of young lady I want to participate in this pageant. You are exactly what American Diamonds is all about."

Barbara asked Sam to be her national spokesperson. Sam was shocked. I was shocked. We talked about her plans for college and that this would have to be something that she could do ONLY during the school breaks.

What a senior year our girl had. Her high school career started out rocky, and there were days it seemed like she might never grow into the confident, beautiful young woman I always knew was inside. I never thought I'd say it, but a beauty pageant brought out the inner strength in my daughter, and for that, I'm forever grateful.

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