TV film fare -- week of April 27

NEW YORK (CNS) -- The following are capsule reviews of theatrical movies on network and cable television the week of April 27. Please note that televised versions may or may not be edited for language, nudity, violence and sexual situations.

Monday, April 28, 8-10 p.m. EDT (AMC) "The In-Laws" (2003). Leaden comedy about a mild-mannered podiatrist (Albert Brooks) who, while trying to plan his daughter's wedding, is shanghaied into an international arms deal by the groom's father (Michael Douglas), who happens to work for the CIA. Director Andrew Fleming's stale remake of the 1979 laugher is sabotaged by forced humor, a scatterbrained plot and mismatched casting. Some profanities, crass humor with occasional homosexual innuendoes and brief violence. The USCCB Office for Film & Broadcasting classification of the theatrical version was A-III -- adults. The Motion Picture Association of America rating was PG-13 -- parents strongly cautioned. Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13.

Tuesday, April 29, 10:15 p.m.-1 a.m. EDT (TCM) "Zulu" (1964). Vivid re-creation of the 1879 battle at Rorke's Drift in Africa's Natal where a small British outpost (led by Stanley Baker and Michael Caine) is beset by some 4,000 Zulus in desperate hand-to-hand combat on the day after other Zulu warriors had massacred an entire British field force of 1,200 soldiers. Directed by Cy Endfield, the military action is well-staged and played with conviction by a strong British cast and numerous Zulus, though the stirring results are marred by some early scenes disparaging a Christian missionary (Jack Hawkins) and his daughter (Ulla Jacobsson). Intense battlefield violence and brief ethnographic nudity. The USCCB Office for Film & Broadcasting classification of the theatrical version was A-III -- adults. Not rated by the Motion Picture Association of America.

Wednesday, April 30, 1-3:15 a.m. EDT (TCM) "Glory" (1989). The story of the 54th Regiment of Massachusetts Volunteer Infantry, the first black fighting unit raised during the Civil War, focuses on its enlightened white commander (Matthew Broderick) who molded field hands and runaway slaves into proud, heroic Union soldiers. Director Edward Zwick raises consciousness about the little-known regiment and re-creates some harrowing battle scenes but, unfortunately, gives shallow attention to the themes of racism and the obscenity of war. Stereotyping of key black characters, much grisly wartime violence and some profanity. The USCCB Office for Film & Broadcasting classification of the theatrical version was A-III -- adults. The Motion Picture Association of America rating was R -- restricted. Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian.

Friday, May 2, 7:15-9 p.m. EDT (Showtime) "School for Scoundrels" (2006). Dreary and contrived comedy about an all-around loser parking-meter cop (Jon Heder) who, to win the heart of his pretty neighbor (Jacinda Barrett), takes a confidence-boosting course with an unconventional teacher (Billy Bob Thornton) who then pursues her as well. Director and co-writer Todd Phillips' film is almost completely devoid of laughs, indifferently paced, and inconsistent in its character delineation, while its one-upmanship rivalry between student and mentor never ignites. Much profanity, rough and crude language and humor, a brief implication of premarital sex, sexist banter and innuendo, adultery and some violence. The USCCB Office for Film & Broadcasting classification of the theatrical version was L -- limited adult audience, films whose problematic content many adults would find troubling. The Motion Picture Association of America rating was PG-13 -- parents strongly cautioned. Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13.

Embrace your Faith

Friday, May 2, 8-10 p.m. EDT (Fox) "Are We There Yet?" (2005). Leaden road comedy about a smooth-talking skirt-chaser (Ice Cube) with no patience for kids who gets more than he bargained for when he falls for a pretty divorcee (Nia Long) and volunteers to taxi her two mischievous children (Philip Daniel Bolden and Aleisha Allen) from Portland, Ore., to Vancouver, British Columbia, where she is staying on business, so they can all be together on New Year's Eve. Directed by Brain Levant, this film runs out of gas early, leaving viewers to endure a bumpy ride of scatological sight gags and mean-spirited mishaps (making it unsuitable for younger adolescents), which unfortunately dampen its sincere, albeit sentimental, message about the importance of family and parenthood. Recurring crude humor and comic violence, and some mildly crass language. The USCCB Office for Film & Broadcasting classification of the theatrical version was A-II -- adults and adolescents. The Motion Picture Association of America rating was PG -- parental guidance suggested. Some material may not be suitable for children.

Saturday, May 3, 8-9:30 p.m. EDT (HBO) "The Astronaut Farmer" (2007). Sweet if improbable film about a Texas rancher (Billy Bob Thornton) with dreams of blasting off into space in a homemade rocket ship, while contending with the admiration and derision of the townsfolk, and his generally supportive but sometimes exasperated family (including Virginia Madsen as his wife) on the verge of financial ruin, and interference from the FBI, CIA and others who would impede his would-be mission. Director and co-writer Michael Polish trots out every cliche imaginable and the film is stately paced, but gets points for its strong affirmation of family, more than the "follow-your-dream" philosophy which in this case seems fairly wacky, and the capable supporting performances from Bruce Willis, Bruce Dern and Tim Blake Nelson. A few expletives and crass expressions, brief innuendo and some domestic strife. The USCCB Office for Film & Broadcasting classification of the theatrical version was A-II -- adults and adolescents. The Motion Picture Association of America rating was PG -- parental guidance suggested. Some material may not be suitable for children.

Saturday, May 3, 9-10:45 p.m. EDT (Showtime) "Rocky Balboa" (2007). Sixth and ostensibly final round in the "Rocky" saga, in which former heavyweight champ Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone), now a widower, estranged from his son (Milo Ventimiglia) and running a restaurant, comes out of retirement, stepping into the ring against the current champ (Antonio Tarver) to prove he has plenty of heart left in his aging body. Written and directed by Stallone, this new chapter is arguably the best in the series since the 1976 original, emphasizing character and emotional drama over fight action, while imparting an inspirational message about perseverance and giving it your all, win or lose. Some bloody boxing violence and a few mildly crude expressions. The USCCB Office for Film & Broadcasting classification of the theatrical version was A-II -- adults and adolescents. The Motion Picture Association of America rating was PG -- parental guidance suggested. Some material may not be suitable for children.

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Saturday, May 3, 10-11:30 p.m. EDT (Cinemax) "License to Wed" (2007). Woefully unfunny tale about an engaged couple (chemistry-free Mandy Moore and John Krasinski) who undertake an arduous marriage preparation course run by their local Protestant minister (Robin Williams in subpar form) before he'll agree to marry them. Director Ken Kwapis' putative comedy plays like a B-level TV sitcom, but even in this comedic context, the reverend character is far too lenient about matters such as premarital cohabitation, is tiresomely irreverent throughout, and, though ostensibly all for the good, engages in such questionable behavior as wiretapping the couple's home and grilling them about their sex lives in a way that borders on prurience. Overall irreverent tone, acceptance of premarital living arrangement, sexual banter and innuendo, crude language and mild profanity, crass expressions and scatological humor. The USCCB Office for Film & Broadcasting classification of the theatrical version was O -- morally offensive. The Motion Picture Association of America rating was PG-13 -- parents strongly cautioned. Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13.

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