Skip to content
Catholic Online Logo

By Theresa Bonopartis

5/4/2014 (2 years ago)

Catholic Online (www.catholic.org)

In the beginning of healing we who have participated in an abortion are so -self- centered. We find it hard to move beyond anything but our own view of ourselves, incapable of believing what we have done, or beating ourselves up more than anyone else possibly could.

This spring, my son Joshua whom I aborted, would have been 44 years old. Hard to believe. I was 17 at the time of my abortion and at the end of my 4th month of pregnancy. Coerced and abandoned by my family, I gave in to the pressure to abort because I felt I had no other choice. It was pre Roe vs. Wade, but abortion was legal in the state of New York, in fact, my abortion occurred at a local hospital, the same place where I would later give birth to my two living sons on the same maternity ward where I participated in the death of my first son, Joshua. As Mother's Day approaches, I know there are countess women out there whose abortion connectors are going off like fireworks. It seems on Mother's Day there is no place to hide from the pain of having participated in an abortion whether you were coerced or it was what you perceive as freely chosen. The accusatory voices inside and outside of your head scream at you a little louder as the world celebrates the gift of being a mother, a gift you refused to accept.

Theresa Bonapartis

Theresa Bonapartis

Highlights

By Theresa Bonopartis

Catholic Online (www.catholic.org)

5/4/2014 (2 years ago)

Published in U.S.

Keywords: abortion, post-abortive, Lumina, Rachels Vineyard, Mother of Mercy, Healing, Divine Mercy, sisters of life, Theresa Bonopartis


BRONX,NY (Catholic Online) - This spring, my son Joshua whom I aborted, would have been 44 years old. Hard to believe. I was 17 at the time of my abortion and at the end of my 4th month of pregnancy. Coerced and abandoned by my family, I gave in to the pressure to abort because I felt I had no other choice. It was pre Roe vs. Wade, but abortion was legal in the state of New York, in fact, my abortion occurred at a local hospital, the same place where I would later give birth to my two living sons on the same maternity ward where I participated in the death of my first son, Joshua.

As Mother's Day approaches, I know there are countess women out there whose abortion connectors are going off like fireworks. It seems on Mother's Day there is no place to hide from the pain of having participated in an abortion whether you were coerced or it was what you perceive as freely chosen. The accusatory voices inside and outside of your head scream at you a little louder as the world celebrates the gift of being a mother, a gift you refused to accept.

I can particularly remember two occasions of Mother's Day; one before my return to the church, the other after. The first one found me after my marriage, wandering aimlessly around the streets of my town, pushing my two sons in a carriage. I was crying and filled with excruciating pain, but unable to make the connection to my abortion in any profound way.  Sure I knew I had a son missing, but it was not so clear to me that on this day of celebration, that was the cause for all my grief. I was after all, still walking around in the most welcomed state of denial, and society did its best to be sure I stayed there, denying any such thing as post abortion trauma, something still going on to this day in spite of countless women who have come forth to prove otherwise.

The second occasion came once I had confessed my abortion and returned to church and the sacraments. Through the grace of God, my fog was gently being lifted, as I was honestly looking at my abortion experience through the light of God's love and the mercy He was constantly showing me.

Little by little, I was unfolding the circumstances that led up to my abortion, feeling safe to do so because I truly believed in God's love and forgiveness for me. Still, when I heard the request of the parish priest for all moms to stand up during mass for a round of applause it left me feeling like a hoax. Sure I had two living kids, but I did not deserve any praise. I had killed my own child. I did not want to stand, but then I was afraid it would draw more attention to myself and I would be "found out", so, fighting against all that was in me, I joined all the other moms in receiving praise from the congregation for our vocation as mothers. I can, to this day remember feeling totally mortified, and thinking, "if they only knew".

In the beginning of healing we who have participated in an abortion are so "self" centered. We find it hard to move beyond anything but our own view of ourselves, incapable of believing what we have done, or beating ourselves up more than anyone else possibly could. 

I do not think it is a coincidence that Mother's Day occurs in the same month where we celebrate Mary, Our Mother of Mercy. Although most of us have probably struggled with out relationship with her (after all, Mary said "yes" to God while we said no), she is also a reminder of His great love for us. It is through her that God sent Jesus into the world for the remission of our sins, and she freely chose to accept her vocation as mother of us all, even knowing we were responsible for her sons suffering. It is through her loving guidance that we become able to move the focus from "self", and what we have don,e to Jesus and what He has done for us.

This past Divine Mercy Sunday, at the canonization of Popes John Paul II and John the XXIII, Pope Francis reminded us," The wounds of Jesus are a scandal, a stumbling block for faith, yet they are also the test of faith. That is why on the body of the risen Christ the wounds never pass away: they remain, for those wounds are the enduring sign of God's love for us. They are essential for believing in God. Not for believing that God exists, but for believing that God is love, mercy and faithfulness. Saint Peter, quoting Isaiah, writes to Christians: "by his wounds you have been healed" (1 Pet 2:24, cf. Is 53:5)."

So, while we need to grieve our children, we also need to look at the "enduring sign", of the wounds of Christ. A sign present to us in the here and now. We need to believe " that God is love, mercy and faithfulness", and that Mother's Day being honored in the same month as Mary, our mother of Mercy, is no coincidence, but instead a gift given to us at the foot of the cross, where she stands with us to this day reminding us that by his wounds we too have been healed.

-----
Theresa is the Director of Lumina/Hope & Healing After Abortion, a post abortion ministry under the arm of Good Counsel Homes, founded by Chris Bell and Rev Benedict Groeschel, CFR.  With the Sisters of Life, Theresa also co-developed the healing ministry, "Entering Canaan, a Sacramental Journey to an Inheritance of Mercy". Along with the Sisters of Life and Friars of the Renewal Theresa conducts retreats for women, and men suffering from abortion as well as siblings of those who have been aborted. She also does public speaking and training to educate on post abortion stress. She can be reached at lumina@postaboritonhelp.org , 877-586-4621 or http://www.postabortionhelp.org





---


'Help give every student and teacher Free resources for a world-class moral Catholic education'


Copyright 2017 - Distributed by THE CALIFORNIA NETWORK

Pope Francis Prayer Intentions for DECEMBER 2016
Universal:
End to Child-Soldiers: That the scandal of child-soldiers may be eliminated the world over.
Evangelization: Europe: That the peoples of Europe may rediscover the beauty, goodness, and truth of the Gospel which gives joy and hope to life.



Comments


More U.S.

Judge cruelly denies justice to three victims raped by probation officer, cites infamous 'six month rule' Watch

Image of Kim Adams is one of three victims raped by a Kern County probation officer. She has been denied justice.

By David Drudge (CALIFORNIA NETWORK)

Imagine you've made a mistake and must serve probation. Now imagine you've been ordered to submit to sexual advances of your probation officer or face life in prison. This is the very real situation that at least three women found themselves in Kern County. Even worse, ... continue reading


WOW - satanic temple members complain about burial of murdered children Watch

Image of A pro-life display highlights the human cost of abortion.

By David Drudge (CALIFORNIA NETWORK)

The satanic Temple is working to overturn a Texas law which ensures the right of unborn children to be cremated or buried. According to the satanists, burying a murdered child is an affront to their sincerely held religious beliefs. LOS ANGELES, CA (California Network) ... continue reading


Native Americans REJOICE as DAPL construction halts, but celebrations could be short lived Watch

Image of Protestors rejoiced following the announcement, but their joy may be short lived.

By Marshall Connolly (CALIFORNIA NETWORK)

The Army Corps of Engineers has denied permission for the Dakota Access Pipeline Project (DAPL) to build on federal land and under the water supply of the Standing Rock Sioux Reservation. LOS ANGELES, CA (California Network) -- For months, Native Americans have ... continue reading


30 confirmed dead in Oakland warehouse fire - The search for survivors continues Watch

Image of Several people were killed in an Oakland warehouse fire.

By Kenya Sinclair (CALIFORNIA NETWORK)

A deadly fire broke out in an Oakland, CA warehouse at about 11:32 p.m. Friday night. LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - The Oakland Fire Department responded immediately but the warehouse was a series of artist studios and was in the midst of a party when the blaze ... continue reading


John the Baptizer and the Path to Freedom and Happiness Watch

Image of An Icon of John the Baptizer

By Deacon Keith Fournier

Our image of John is often as the austere ascetic, the odd fellow who lived in the desert eating a strange diet and thundering to Israel about repentance. We forget the joy that was associated with his birth and the happiness which accompanied his prophetic life ... continue reading


Tutor sends 7-year-old to hospital for 'being disruptive in class' Watch

Image of Timothy Korr was arrested for child abuse (Baltimore police).

By Kenya Sinclair (CALIFORNIA NETWORK)

Timothy Randall Korr is a 25-year-old tutor at City Springs Elementary School who has been charged with assaulting 7-year-old Trayvon Grayson in the classroom. LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - Korr has been charged with felony child abuse and assault after police ... continue reading


ABOUT TIME - Texas now requires aborted children to be given a funeral Watch

Image of Texas will now require aborted children get funerals too.

By Marshall Connolly (CALIFORNIA NETWORK)

A new law in Texas should help reinforce respect for the sanctity of life. The law now ensures that children killed in abortion mills at least get a proper burial. LOS ANGELES, CA (California Network) -- Abortion is often treated as a "once-and-done" approach to ... continue reading


A miracle of Christ? Wildfire kills 11 but spares Jesus statue in Tennessee Watch

Image of Christ statue only survivor of Tennessee wildfire.

By (CNA)

As devastating wildfires continue to burn in East Tennessee, a startling discovery was made. Gatlinburg, Tennessee (CNA) - On Thursday, CNN said that one of its affiliate reporters had found a statue of Jesus in the remains of a burnt-down house in Sevier County. The ... continue reading


COLDPOCALYPSE - Record-shattering cold to freeze most of U.S., severe storms probable Watch

Image of

By Marshall Connolly (CALIFORNIA NETWORK)

The United States is about to be hammered with record-shattering cold. A super-frigid airmass has developed over Alaska and will drop down into the lower 48 states next week. The exceptional cold is likely to break records, drop snow, and spawn violent storms. LOS ... continue reading


Faith and the Future: Build on the Rock of Jesus and Become the Church Militant Watch

Image of The Church is the rock of refuge and a safe harbor in an age which is being shaken.

By Deacon Keith Fournier

The use of the expression Church Militant as a description of the mission of the Church on earth used to be very common. However, for lots of reasons, including a possible misunderstanding of the term in this increasingly violent age, it has fallen out of use. It ... continue reading


All U.S. News

Newsletters

Newsletter Sign Up icon

Stay up to date with the latest news, information, and special offers

Subscribe to Catholic OnlineYouTube Channel

Daily Readings

Reading 1, Isaiah 40:25-31
25 'To whom can you compare me, or who is my equal?' says the Holy ... Read More

Psalm, Psalms 103:1-2, 3-4, 8, 10
1 [Of David] Bless Yahweh, my soul, from the depths of my being, his holy ... Read More

Gospel, Matthew 11:28-30
28 'Come to me, all you who labour and are overburdened, and I will give ... Read More

Saint of the Day

Saint of the Day for December 7th, 2016 Image

St. Maria Giuseppe Rossello
December 7: Foundress of the Daughters of Our Lady of Mercy. ... Read More