My Mom Slept on the Couch

9/1/2006 - 5:30 AM PST

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By Holly Fagan
Retrouvaille
Catholic Online

Hi! My name is Holly Fagan, I�m the baby of the Fagan family. My parents work with Louisville (Kentucky) Retrouvaille. First and foremost I would like to say that I truly believe in Retrouvaille and all its teachings. I always jokingly tell my parents that before I marry my future husband he has to agree to go to Retrouvaille once we are married. But in all actuality, I have a strong desire to attend Retrouvaille because I believe it can help all marriages and even strengthen the ones who are not in dire need. I have seen first hand, through my parents, the wonders that Retrouvaille works

I can remember about nine years ago when my mom used to sleep on the couch every night. At that time I was in fourth grade and didn�t understand why she wouldn�t want to sleep with my dad. When I questioned her, she told me it was because the couch helped with her back problems, but I knew there was something more going on.

Our house had become just that and nothing more: a house�not a home as it used to be. My entire family could feel the tension daily. Soon after my parents went to Retrouvaille my brother, sister, and I began to notice a considerable change in their attitude toward each other. Not only did my mom not sleep on the couch anymore, but my parents communicated with each other and us better.

Over time my parents also taught my brother, sister, and me the core principles that Retrouvaille is based upon. While there is a huge amount of Retrouvaille that I know nothing about (due to confidentiality issues), I find myself using many of its teachings regularly.

Almost all of my friends come to me for advice very often and I enjoy helping them in any way I can. � In some ways I think learning about Retrouvaille and applying it to my life has helped me to become more mature than the average young adult, with a deeper understanding of what a healthy relationship constitutes.

In the past my mom has told me that several couples who attend Retrouvaille believe their struggling marriage has created an extremely negative affect on their children. Honestly, it is simply not possible for a parents� relationship not to affect their kids. However, my brother, sister, and I, and countless other �Retrouvaille children� are the living proof that conditions can improve tremendously.

Things can improve so greatly that a �house� begins to feel more like a �home� once again. Even while I am away at college, I miss my family incredibly and can�t wait to come �home� to spend time with them. I am forever thankful to Retrouvaille because not only has it helped my parents, but it has helped me in more ways than I can even try to explain. The weekend is a crucial first step. However, after observing my parents and others, I can honestly attest that the true healing begins during the post sessions.

To experience Retrouvaille as the program was designed, the post sessions are essential and I urge you to make time for them! Good Luck and God Bless!

Contact

Retrouvaille
http://www.HelpOurMarriage.com KY, US
Holly Fagan - Retrouvaille daughter, 800 470-2230

Email

Holly_Fagan@eku.edu

Keywords

marriage help, marriage problems, marriage support

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1 - 7 of 7 Comments

Catherine Partyka
10 months ago
My comment is to Frank Castellano-

Dear Frank, Please talk to your wife, and ask her to go to Retrouvaille just for the week end. I too was in the same place as your wife....ready to call it quits. I can not express to you how this week end changed my life. I went kicking, and screaming, but left holding hands with my husband. We continue to work on our marriage every day, and we have never been closer. Please give Retrouvaille a chance to help your marriage...I promise you, and your wife will see a miracle unfold before your eyes during your time at Retrouvaille.

God Bless,
Catherine
M F Morua
1 year ago
Thank you, we are working on our Marriage wish we would have known this in 1984 we would have never gotten divorce and worked on it , but never too late.Married my husband 3 times and just with this program we're getting to know each other, BUT KNOW WE DO LOVE EACH OTHER. OMG
Stephanie
2 years ago
hi this article while very sweet from the perspective of a child deals with superficial marriage issues. It does not give SPECIFICS of what RETROUVILLE is or what it does and why it has to be only a three day weekend. In this economy we cannot afford to both not work for three days. Yes i work on the weekends. ALSO the church needs to specifically define spousal abuse and options of counseling for the abuser and victim. IT is ridiculous to assume i am going to sit thru an abusive session as the abuser lies and covers up all the issues. We have been to several counselorts and he does not do the work but switches to a different counselor to find one who takes his side. It has not happened and now he wants to take this weekend session to "fix" me. I may not be the person you want at your weekend event either. I may further disillusion other families because mine is a glaring reality that scares most people: posturing perfection in the church and a nightmare at home.
ashleigh
2 years ago
How does Retrouvaille actually HELP a married couple.....sexual issues especially? Is it a program that teaches a woman to embrace the pain at her own expense? I.E., sleep with your husband even if he does nothing to help you find your own sensuality such as tantra...which to my mind would do MORE to bring a couple together than simply discussing the body of Christ in the marriage when as we know Jesus was not married [or was he?]
DM
3 years ago
In my marriage, problems started after 6 years of marriage (this past weekend we would had celebrated our 12th Anniversary). It got to the point that I detached completely from my husband: he was worried about the finances and that was all he talked about. He never wanted to go out just the 2 of us, because our 3 kids "might feel left out". About 10 months ago, I started talking to somebody. We felt in love. But things are complicated. He's married and has 3 kids also. He left his wife and I'm not sleeping in the house any more. My husband wants to save our marriage, and keeps telling me that he would forgive me, but I think I've done a lot of damage to our marriage. I am thinking about giving it a last chance and attend a weekend at the Retrouvaille...
olly
4 years ago
Holly, Your testimony is nice. I feel as your mother. My husband and I are Christians,I'm suspecting him of infidelity, with prof but he reject all. He is angry each time I want to discuss about it with him.

Prof: SMS where a woman say she love him. The same woman call many time and some time at midnight. He will go out and spent time on his phone. Once she paid him a visit in the house when I was out. My husband said he was working on his project with her.

I'm a born-again christian. I will like him to tell the truth and to forgive him.
Frank Castellano
4 years ago
I've always known that my wife and I have had problems during our marriage. Since July we have been separated since she asked me to leave. It is now Nov and I haven't seen much of her or our 2 children because of the stress it causes my wife. She nor I have filed for divorce. I know I want to save our marriage but I don't know what she wants to do. This past Saturday we met for breakfast and she told me she hated me and that she stopped loving me 12 years ago. We've been married 15 years. I don't know what to do and anything I try to do she is convinced that I'm fooling her and that our marriage will revert back to the way it has been. I read these testimonials looking for hope but like my wife says she no longer loves me. I continue to pray for help from our Lord and Savior. Our marriage is similar to the wife who slept on the couch.

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