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Are Your Relationships of Bacon or Eggs?

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By Christine J. Murray
©Catholic Online 2004

A pig and a chicken were having discussion about which was more integral to the farmer's breakfast. The chicken said, "Eggs" and the pig said "Bacon." Back and forth it went until the pig finally said, "I don't care what you say. When it comes to breakfast, you merely provide a contribution. I make a full commitment."

While listening to this opening line of the latest Sunday homily, this writer's first reaction was "How corny," (pardon the pun) especially since this particular Mass was being celebrated at a parish in a farming community. Upon further reflection, however, I realized how much the pig is like Jesus Christ on the Cross. The pig gives his life for a rack of bacon, a ham or two and pork chops. Jesus Christ also gave His life, but for a much higher purpose - to redeem us and open the gates of Heaven.

What is to be our response, especially in our marriages? Do we contribute and think it's enough or perhaps even "too much"? Do we expect more from the other? Do we even think of the other as other, or as a thing?

As Catholic Christians, we are called to give of ourselves in marriage as Jesus gives of Himself to His Bride, the Church. The Catechism of the Catholic Church explains this further, "Three aspects of the Church as the Body of Christ are to be more specifically noted: the unity of all her members with each other as a result of their union with Christ; Christ as head of the Body; and the Church as bride of Christ" (789).

We ask you, humbly: don't scroll away.

The present Holy Father, in his Letter to Families, also states, "This bride, of whom [Ephesians 4] speaks, is present in each of the baptized and is like one who presents herself before her Bridegroom." The Bridegroom, in turn, is ready to give His life for His Bride. Jesus poured out every drop of blood for us. As members of His Church and brides as well, we are called to imitate Him - not because we're supposed to, but for love. We're not just called to provide the bacon, but everything else as well. It is more than just a full commitment. It is self-giving without counting the cost.

This is lived out in a variety of ways. What is crucial to them all is a deep relationship with God. Nothing superficial will do. Once this is in place, the rest flows from it. Trying to do this oneself is a recipe for disaster. One might be able to complete good works without it, but these are hollow and grow cold with time. Evidently, the supernatural life within withers and dies.

One who takes time to speak with (and not just to) God inevitably finds that amazing things occurs. Young people are willing to forego marriage for the Kingdom and live out fruitful lives and priests and religious. They serve as spouses to the Church and Jesus Christ Himself, respectively.

Those called to marriage also radiate the love of God, which usually can be seen between the spouses and in their children. Through the act of conjugal union in which both are giving of themselves completely without reserve - and without contraception - the spouses model the nuptial union between Christ and His Church. When spouses use contraception - whether they intend this or not - they provide a warped modeling of Christ and His Bride. We need not think this is easy. Could one dare say the Crucifixion was easy for Jesus.

Jesus never holds anything back and neither should we, including our fertility. In his recent letter On the Collaboration of Men and Women in the Church and in the World, Pope John Paul stated, "The love of a man and a woman, lived out in the power of baptismal life, now becomes the sacrament of the love between Christ and His Church, and a witness to the mystery of fidelity and unity from which the 'New Eve' is born and by which she lives in her earthly pilgrimage toward the fullness of the eternal wedding" (no. 10).

We ask you, humbly: don't scroll away.

In our relationships with God - and with others - we are to give of ourselves. When we selfishly hold back due to fear of suffering defeat, we end up being the losers.

Christine J. Murray writes from Sterling Heights, Mich.