Archdiocese of Denver's young adult director offers tips for surviving the college 'jungle'
Straight talk about holding on to your faith, values and finances.
Chris Stefanick provides some really honest practical advice for incoming college freshmen, who are facing the strange new world of life on campus. From credit cards to co-ed relationships, the director of Youth, Young Adult and Campus Ministry tells it like it is in a new video.
Christopher Stefanick, the Archdiocese of Denver's director of Youth, Young Adult, and Campus Ministry.
PrintDENVER, CO (CNA) - Christopher Stefanick, the Archdiocese of Denver's director of Youth, Young Adult, and Campus Ministry, has recorded a new video for Catholic News Agency, discussing the dangers that incoming college students will face as the school year begins.
A number of unprecedented challenges, Stefanick said, come with the new independence of undergraduate life. The experience of separation from family, friends, and previous parish communities, he said, was comparable to an animal being "separated from the herd" for the first time.
But while this independence is exciting and offers new opportunities, it also involves real dangers. Stefanick highlighted four key areas of life where college students must be especially careful in order to avoid compromising their futures and spiritual lives.
Credit cards, presented in an appealing manner and with attractive offers, "lead to so much financial pain and disaster in the lives of young people," according to Stefanick. The youth minister explained how many college students overestimate their own finances and misunderstand what is being offered.
As a result, 19 percent of bankruptcies filed last year were by college students.
Stefanick also strongly warned against sexual promiscuity on campus. Between freshman year and graduation, one in four college students will become infected with one of the various sexually transmitted diseases, which cannot be reliably prevented by any means other than abstinence.
Besides the risk of infection or pregnancy, Stefanick warned against the lifelong psychological wounds left by sex outside of marriage, and the shipwreck of one's spiritual life. Explaining "how far is too far" in dating relationships, the youth minister offered a simple rule: "The moment you close the door, you just went too far. Keep the door open, you'll stay out of trouble."
Drugs and alcohol, he recounted, also take a heavy toll on many students looking to relax or bond with friends. Stefanick advised that in addition to staying sober, new students should look for a reliable group of drug-free and responsible friends.
One of the most common difficulties in college is the onset of stress and depression. Suicide is a real danger in the college population, Stefanick noted, with freshman year providing some of the most stressful times of one's life. "Don't let shame isolate you" from seeking help from parents, trustworthy priests, campus ministers, or professional counselors, he advised.
Stefanick concluded his message by stressing the importance of developing meaningful friendships based on sharing and living the Catholic faith. Although it can be difficult to "find a new herd," he said, it is the best way to avoid the dangers to one's present, future, and soul: "Everything can hinge on those friends you make in the first few days of being on campus."
He encouraged students to connect with any available Catholic ministries, such as FOCUS missionaries or the college's Newman Center, or to contact the diocese if groups cannot be located, before arriving on campus.
With the aid of these resources, Stefanick assured viewers, students could thrive, rather than being "devoured" by the dangers of their new independence.
You can view the video HERE.
A number of unprecedented challenges, Stefanick said, come with the new independence of undergraduate life. The experience of separation from family, friends, and previous parish communities, he said, was comparable to an animal being "separated from the herd" for the first time.
But while this independence is exciting and offers new opportunities, it also involves real dangers. Stefanick highlighted four key areas of life where college students must be especially careful in order to avoid compromising their futures and spiritual lives.
Credit cards, presented in an appealing manner and with attractive offers, "lead to so much financial pain and disaster in the lives of young people," according to Stefanick. The youth minister explained how many college students overestimate their own finances and misunderstand what is being offered.
As a result, 19 percent of bankruptcies filed last year were by college students.
Stefanick also strongly warned against sexual promiscuity on campus. Between freshman year and graduation, one in four college students will become infected with one of the various sexually transmitted diseases, which cannot be reliably prevented by any means other than abstinence.
Besides the risk of infection or pregnancy, Stefanick warned against the lifelong psychological wounds left by sex outside of marriage, and the shipwreck of one's spiritual life. Explaining "how far is too far" in dating relationships, the youth minister offered a simple rule: "The moment you close the door, you just went too far. Keep the door open, you'll stay out of trouble."
Drugs and alcohol, he recounted, also take a heavy toll on many students looking to relax or bond with friends. Stefanick advised that in addition to staying sober, new students should look for a reliable group of drug-free and responsible friends.
One of the most common difficulties in college is the onset of stress and depression. Suicide is a real danger in the college population, Stefanick noted, with freshman year providing some of the most stressful times of one's life. "Don't let shame isolate you" from seeking help from parents, trustworthy priests, campus ministers, or professional counselors, he advised.
Stefanick concluded his message by stressing the importance of developing meaningful friendships based on sharing and living the Catholic faith. Although it can be difficult to "find a new herd," he said, it is the best way to avoid the dangers to one's present, future, and soul: "Everything can hinge on those friends you make in the first few days of being on campus."
He encouraged students to connect with any available Catholic ministries, such as FOCUS missionaries or the college's Newman Center, or to contact the diocese if groups cannot be located, before arriving on campus.
With the aid of these resources, Stefanick assured viewers, students could thrive, rather than being "devoured" by the dangers of their new independence.
You can view the video HERE.
- - -
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(An addendum)...On Demonic temptation, oppression, obsession and possession...
Demonic temptation is like an army offering terms of surrender to a city. Demonic oppression is like an army besieging a city. Demonic obsession is like an army that has taken over some areas of a city. Demonic possession is like an army that has overrun an entire city... Now since we're on the topic. There is a widespread tendency among some Christians to overly 'spiritualize' (or 'demonize') their moral problems. They seem to forget that the demon is only an opportunist; he can only exploit our interior woundedness, he cannot cause it. Only sin can harm us. And we can only sin with our will. As Our Lord indicates to an Italian mystic, (Libro di Cielo) 'temptations can be conquered easily, because the devil is the most cowardly creature that can exist, and a contrary act, a contempt, a prayer, are enough to make him flee. In fact, these acts render him even more cowardly than he is, and in order not to bear that confusion, as soon as he sees the soul resolute in not wanting to pay attention to his cowardice, he flees terrified. Now, if the soul cannot easily free herself, it means that it is not only a temptation, but a passion rooted within the soul, which tyrannizes her together with the temptation. Therefore, she is unable to free herself; and where there is passion, the devil has more strength to make sport of the soul.' Ingrained passion then, can be compared with a herpes virus which hides in the nerves (memory) and periodically ravages the surrounding tissue (intellect).
On Temptation and Responsibility. Temptation comes from two sources. Fallen man is a being who struggles with his desire for the good both within and without. As Scripture says, (James 1:13-14) Let no man, when he is tempted, say that he is tempted by God. For God is not a tempter of evils: and he tempteth no man. But every man is tempted by his own concupiscence, etc. And (Matthew 15:19) from the heart come forth evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, etc,. An example of this kind of temptation would be human beauty which irresistibly calls out to man and says “I am very good”.
The second source of temptation is from evil spirits who with great ingenuity and skill try to incite men to fall into sin. As Scripture says, (Matthew 4:1) Jesus was led by the spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. And (Matthew 16:23) [Jesus] said to Peter: Go behind me, Satan.
The difference between these two types of temptation may be seen in two distinct situations: a man who sees a beautiful woman and desires her and another man who sees the same beauty but is also subjected to strong persuasions from another person. We have some idea of what this is like when we come across a salesperson with enormous charisma and will-power. His words seem to penetrate and reach inside our minds. He is so convincing and persistent that if we do not leave the vicinity we eventually weaken and yield. In a like manner, the fallen angels have an will and intelligence which far surpasses that of man and so there is no hope of resisting them without God’s grace. As exorcist Fr. Jeremy Davis explains, “The power of the angels, although infinitely less than that of God, is much greater than that of man without God.”
Since all spiritual beings are connected to each other it is often difficult to distinguish the origin and source of particular thoughts. The fact that evil spirits have the ability to mimic can make this discernment process even more difficult. The tendency of most people is to assume that all temptations come from their own mind. Some of these thoughts can be extremely violent and distressing and may cause us to feel ashamed or even to doubt our own goodness. And this is precisely the plan of the evil spirit - to diffuse his own wickedness into his victim. Not only does the unclean spirit want his victim to fall into sin but through multiple defeats gradually come to identify himself with that vice, to see it as a part of himself. Repeated sin, of course, creates ingrained passion within the soul. So what started off as a one front war from without (temptation) now becomes a two front war also from within (ingrained passion/demonic obsession). And even though man always remains free he finds it ever more difficult to exercise his freedom as the roots of ingrained passion deepen and the will of the tempting demon “nests” more and more within his own will. Fr. Davis, a British exorcist poses the following the question, “If an evil spirit tempts us to sin how, if we yield to that sin, should we not be united with that spirit?” Scripture records that (Luke 22:3) Satan entered into Judas. In the state of sin, man becomes less himself and more of a marionette, a satellite which orbits around a more powerful being. As C.S. Lewis insightful notes, “an inanimate object is what it is by excluding all other objects from the space it occupies; if it expands, it does so by thrusting other objects aside or by absorbing them. A self does the same. With beasts the absorption takes the form of eating; for us, it means the sucking of will and freedom out of a weaker self into a stronger [self].”
In the case of persons who commit exceedingly heinous crimes they are still responsible for letting themselves get to the point where the evil spirit could overwhelm them. Such crimes are nothing more than the culmination of a long chain of unrepented mortal sins that gradually worsen over time. The sure defense against temptation is sincere daily prayer, frequent reception of the sacraments and self-mortification. Anyone who makes use of these means cannot fail and will gradually approach Christian perfection.
Thank you so much for this article. I believe the Lord has asked me to read this. What actually struck me is that I am reading this just five days before I leave for Hertfordshire, where my university is. I admit I am apprehensive about what's going to go on but it's stuff like this, no matter how simply it's presented, that checks to see if I'm on the right track. ^_^