Skip to content
Catholic Online Logo

By Sonja Corbitt

6/15/2013 (1 year ago)

Catholic Online (www.catholic.org)

Cry out to your Heavenly Father, and one day every day will become a Father's Day full of great joy and peace

It is an epidemic that fuels rebellion, homosexuality, promiscuity, and all manner of sin in the Church and in individual Christians. So many people carry "father wounds" from relationships with fathers, stepfathers, priests, grandfathers, etc. that negatively affect their relationships with God and other men. I am one of those people, and God helped me. Dear One, if you have a father wound, if you are a parent who fears passing one on to your children, I pray that this Father's Day you will seek God's healing. 

Highlights

By Sonja Corbitt

Catholic Online (www.catholic.org)

6/15/2013 (1 year ago)

Published in Marriage & Family

Keywords: father's day, father wound, heavenly father, abba, abuse, rage, perfectionism, homosexuality, promiscuity, catholic speakers, catholic bible studies


NASHVILLE, TN (Catholic Online) - "The hearts of fathers must be returned to the children and the hearts of the children to the fathers" (Mal. 4:6).

I confess anticipating Father's Day used to almost make me sick with anxiety. As much as I loved my dad, and still do, every year when June rolled around, I got an awful sinking feeling. I would spend hours in one card aisle after another, trying to find something that might somehow both honor my father, and still be truthful. "You are the best father in the world" was not a sentiment I could sincerely offer my own dad. 

If Father's Day makes you feel this way, you are not alone. So many people carry "father wounds" from relationships with fathers, stepfathers, priests, grandfathers, etc. that negatively affect their relationships with God and other men. It is an epidemic that fuels rebellion, homosexuality, promiscuity, and all manner of sin in the Church and in individual Christians. 

As Father's Day approaches, there is a Scripture that comes to my mind frequently: "For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the spirit of sonship that enables us to cry, 'Abba! Father!'" (Rom. 8:15). The word abba means daddy in Aramaic. What a precious, intimate thought this verse is to me now. 

But there was a time when it made absolutely no sense to me at all. Lifetime military and highway patrol, my dad was authoritative to the extreme, aggressive, controlling, and dominating. He seldom looked at me with love unless my achievements made him look good to his peers. He rarely touched me with anything but anger, and almost never spent one-on-one time with me. I loved him almost as desperately as I was terrified of him. 

As St. Paul warns us parents, I was provoked to wrath and discouragement by his parenting style (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21). I struggled with rage, rebellion against authority, and perfectionism for many years. You can hear my story here*.

Yet, this strange verse beckoned me with its promise of a Father's gentleness and warmth. I once had an aunt who told me she imagined herself in God's lap when she prayed; she said she called Him Daddy, and that one day I would too. I thought she was crazy.
 
Yet in Romans 8:15 (in bold print, above), St. Paul speaks of our cherished status as God's children, and he does so in several other places in the Scriptures, too. I discovered that John 1:18 speaks of Jesus as being in the bosom of the Father. Over and over in the Bible, Jesus applies the term Abba to the Heavenly Father. I wondered, what did Jesus know about God that enabled Him to call God Daddy, and rest in His lap so affectionately? Together, all of these verses seemed to whisper to me that I was somehow a slave to my fear of God.   

Although I longed to, how could I ever call God Abba?  I obeyed out of fear and a desire to make Him love me. I thought every bad thing that happened to me was God's punishment, and that I must surely deserve it. I felt in the deepest recesses of my being that He was perpetually displeased with me. When He was quiet in prayer, I assumed I had done something that deserved the silent treatment. If I was criticized by a man in authority over me - husband, employer, pastor - I struggled with volcanic eruptions of agonizing emotion. Because my relationship with my earthly father was so painful and difficult, I simply could not relate to God with such an intimate term as Abba. 

Dear One, if this is you, if you have a father wound, if you are a parent who fears passing one on to your children, I pray that this Father's Day you will seek God's healing. Trust in the truth of these Bible verses. Watch as Jesus shows us very deliberately, in the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary, what it means to have a safe place to acknowledge weakness and receive strength in the midst of great pain and suffering. Listen carefully to His great prayer, the Our Father, as He teaches us how to reach beyond our deficits to God, and how to climb into the bosom of a loving Heavenly Father.

I am living proof that God longs to heal our father wounds. The greatest joy and the deepest pain, in my life, have been the excavation of this father wound. I tell everyone who will listen how my Abba did it for me, a writhing, pitiful mess of a little girl searching for a daddy's love in places and people who could never touch her abyss of need.


The truth is that this wound provokes grave sin patterns that we repeat throughout our lives until we can forgive our fathers, so human and wounded themselves, and forgive ourselves for what we have done out of this pain. Our relationships suffer because we vomit this awful, festering poison all over everyone we love. But when God heals us, He heals them all, some, too. 

We fear we will never get victory over it, that we will never be in control of ourselves, that we can never forgive. But we can, and we must. It is our calling as God's children. It is also our freedom and our salvation. You only have to trust God's promise, and obey Him at every step, every single day. He is waiting for you with unconditionally open arms.

Here are some of the resources that God used to help me: 

  • Sacraments of the Church, particularly frequent Confession and Communion;
  • Daily, prayerful Scripture reading (lectio divina) and frequent Bible study;
  • Priest, spiritual director, or counselor (you may have to talk to several to find one who can really help you);
  • Books - The Road Less Traveled, by Dr. Scott Peck; The Collected Works of St. John of the Cross, Kavanaugh and Rodriguez; Abandonment to Divine Providence, by Jean-Pierre de Caussade; Complete Spiritual Doctrine of St. Therese of Lisieux, by Francois Jamart;
  • CD's - try any of the last seven offered here. *The Healing the Father Wound CD is the same talk offered for free, above.

Dear One, the time is now. My fervent, faithful prayers are with you. Cry out to your Heavenly Father, and one day every day will become a Father's Day full of great joy and peace. It is your promise from God Himself: "[You] did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the spirit of sonship that enables us to cry, 'Abba! Father!'" 

----- 
Sonja Corbitt is a Catholic speaker on Healing the Father Wound and other topics, a Scripture study author, and a contributing writer for Catholic Online. Visit pursuingthesummit.com to book Sonja for your next great event, or to order her Bible studies.

---


Pope Francis: end world hunger through 'Prayer and Action'


Copywriter 2015 - Distributed by THE NEWS CONSORTIUM

Pope Francis Prayer Intentions for March 2015
Universal:
Scientists: That those involved in scientific research may serve the well-being of the whole human person.
Evangelization: Contribution of women: That the unique contribution of women to the life of the Church may be recognized always.


Rosaries, Crosses, Prayer Cards and more... by Catholic Shopping .com


Comments


More Marriage & Family

Middle Eastern high school student suspended for using fake bomb during prom proposal Watch

Image of

By Nikky Andres (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

Senior student Ibrahim Ahmad, 18, from LA Center High School, was been suspended last week for a stunt he did in school for the upcoming prom. In order to make a girl say yes to his prom date proposal, he strapped a fake bomb around his body, which caused panic among ... continue reading


Woman's 'instincts' miraculously save husband's life Watch

Image of Nicole and Scott Mayhew

By Talia Ramos (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

Nicole Mayhew went home immediately after experiencing a bugging feeling that her husband was in trouble. Scott Mayhew was pinned under their Ford Explorer and had been yelling for help which no one apparently heard. She arrived home right on time to save him from ... continue reading


WHO IS THAT? Mysterious 'ghost child' appears in couple's wedding photo Watch

Image of Denis' wife, Christiana had been using it as her profile picture on Facebook before a friend pointed out the ghostly face hidden between them.

By Catholic Online (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

If a picture is worth a thousand words, some elements of a picture become known only long afterwards. A couple in Virginia had the fact pointed out to them that a macabre "photo bomber" lurks on their favorite wedding photo. The person appears to be a child, a ... continue reading


When culture no longer cares about marriage, family, everyone suffers, Pope says Watch

Image of The second of two talks on the complementary nature of men and women, Pope Francis says that the Book of Genesis shows how God created the heavens and earth, and then a special creature made in his likeness to care and watch over the earth.

By Catholic Online (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

Pope Francis, in a homily earlier this week said that a culture that does not value "the stable and life-giving covenant between a man and woman is certainly a loss for everyone. We must bring honor back to marriage and the family." LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic ... continue reading


Criminal family raises money for daughter's fake terminal illness Watch

Image of Neighbors alerted police officials of suspicious GoFundMe page.

By Talia Ramos (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

After a family falsely claimed their three-year-old daughter suffers from a dangerous heart disease, a family friend posted a page on the GoFundMe website for their support. The family trio from Marietta, Georgia is now arrested and faces charges of felony conspiracy. ... continue reading


Mother murdered and baby abducted after Indiana woman poses as social worker Watch

Image of Jones' family members stated Jones told them she had been pregnant with twins and one died.

By Atarah Haely (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

Horrific reports have come out that a woman, claiming to be a social worker, went to an apartment in Indiana where a newly-born child and her mother resided, with means to take the baby away. However, the woman was found to have never even worked in the child-welfare ... continue reading


Toddler's vivid nightmares suggest mother's death was not an accident Watch

Image of Natali Castellanos-Tyler was killed in what originally was believed to be a single-car car accident.

By Atarah Haely (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

Natali Castellanos-Tyler was involved in a single car accident after losing control of her Ford explorer and hitting a tree that resulted in her death, according to police back in February. However, her husband has observed their young daughter screaming about a ... continue reading


New breast cancer cases in the U.S. predicted to double by 2030 Watch

Image of

By Talia Ramos (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

Recent government research projected an increase of new breast cancer cases up to 50 percent by 2030, as well as a change on its age distribution. The current statistic is one in every eight women will develop the disease during her lifetime. The surge will definitely ... continue reading


Elementary school under fire for transgender kindergarten lesson Watch

Image of Jazz Jennings grew up transgender and turned her story into a children's book.

By Nikky Andres (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

Allowing young kids to read books about something controversial is considered by most as one aggressive move. Recently, in Mitchell Primary School, school officials publicly stated their apology for allowing kindergarten through third grade students to read a book ... continue reading


Inside the rebellious mind: MRI scans record teenagers' brain activity when trying to rebel and separate from parents Watch

Image of

By Atarah Haely (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

A new study suggests that rebelliousness is triggered with teenagers' desire to separate from their parents in pursuing individuality. With the use of Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI), psychologists were able to track the brain activity of 22 teenagers responding to ... continue reading


All Marriage & Family News

Newsletters

Newsletter Sign Up icon

Stay up to date with the latest news, information, and special offers

Daily Readings

Reading 1, Acts 11:19-26
19 Those who had scattered because of the persecution ... Read More

Psalm, Psalms 87:1-3, 4-5, 6-7
1 [Of the sons of Korah Psalm Song] With its ... Read More

Gospel, John 10:22-30
22 It was the time of the feast of Dedication in ... Read More

Saint of the Day

Saint of the Day for April 28th, 2015 Image

St. Peter Chanel
April 28: In St. Peter Chanel, Priest and Martyr (Feast day - April 28) ... Read More

Inform, Inspire & Ignite Logo

Find Catholic Online on Facebook and get updates right in your live feed.

Become a fan of Catholic Online on Facebook


Follow Catholic Online on Twitter and get News and Product updates.

Follow us on Twitter