Skip to content
Catholic Online Logo

By Catholic Online (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

3/22/2013 (1 year ago)

Catholic Online (www.catholic.org)

Has an Ohio prosecutor gone too far?

Punxsutawney Phil may have another date beyond Feb. 2 to worry about. If an Ohio prosecutor gets his way, Punxsutawney Phil may have a date with the chair.

Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?

Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?

Highlights

By Catholic Online (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

Catholic Online (www.catholic.org)

3/22/2013 (1 year ago)

Published in U.S.

Keywords: Punxsutawney Phil, Gmoser, prosecutor, death penalty


LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - It is being reported to our offices that Ohio prosecutor, Michael Gmoser, of Butler County has filed court documents seeking the death penalty for the oversized rodent.

"Let's face it," Gmoser said, "Punxsutawney Phil has let us down. I awoke this morning to a snowstorm, low temperatures, and howling wind."

Despite the start of Spring this week, temperatures remain low across the nation. Punxsutawney Phil predicted an early Spring this year, but that early spring seems far off with snow forecast through the weekend across parts of the Northeast.

So we get it. Punxsutawney Phil gave us an inaccurate forecast - but does that warrant the death penalty?

"You know, Phil lives his life behind bars as it is. This is the only penalty available. Maybe it's time for a Phyllis instead," Gmoser said.

Despite the initial motions by the prosecutor, Punxsutawney Phil is safe in his burrow, protected by a private security detail. Jeffery Lundy, vice president of the Punxsutawney Ground Hog Club, warned that Gmoser and his henchmen would "have to go through 15 licensed hunters to get to Phil."

Gmoser added that there could be circumstances that could save Phil from the ultimate penalty. "Phil may not know his rear from a hole in the ground. That might make a difference," he said. 

Despite the serious implications of the charges filed against him, it is unlikely that Punxsutawney Phil will ever face a judge, or an executioner.

For his part, Gmoser can warm himself with the knowledge that his filing brought amusement across the country, and not just in his office.

---


Pope Francis: end world hunger through 'Prayer and Action'


© 2014 - Distributed by THE NEWS CONSORTIUM

Pope Francis Prayer Intentions for December 2014
Christmas, hope for humanity:
That the birth of the Redeemer may bring peace and hope to all people of good will.
Parents: That parents may be true evangelizers, passing on to their children the precious gift of faith.



Comments


More U.S.

The Feast of St. John Invites us to Living Faith through Prayer Watch

Image of

By Deacon Keith Fournier

The heart of good theology, the fire that fuels living faith, is an ongoing encounter with the Risen Lord Jesus, cultivated as an ongoing experience, through prayer. Without such an encounter I do not know how anyone can do theology at all.  The God who is ... continue reading


The unexpected Christmas gift: NSA reveals 12 years of illegal activity in new report Watch

Image of The new report from the NSA has shown flagrant disregard for the fundamental and constitutional rights of American citizens, by deliberate human abuse and error.

By Matt Waterson (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

The National Security Agency (NSA) just released a very heavily edited account of the numerous violations its employees committed against American citizens in the years following the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks. LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - The ... continue reading


'You'll see no mercy infidels,' warns hackers on newspaper Web site Watch

Image of The FBI is aware of the incident, but says it's not aware of any other Web site attacks that may have occurred in New Mexico this week.

By Catholic Online (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

The Web site of a local newspaper in Albuquerque, New Mexico, was hacked earlier this week. Transmitting a  horrific terrorist message, the Federal Bureau of Investigation is now hot on the case. "Christmas will never be merry any longer" was one of the ... continue reading


Feast of St Stephen, Martyr and the Gift of Deacons Watch

Image of St Stephen, Deacon and Martyr, Pray for us!

By Deacon Keith Fournier

Sadly, some Catholics, some of whom self identify as traditionalists, have a problem with those of us ordained to serve as Deacons. I have only one thing to say, adjust. You cannot get more deeply rooted in the tradition than the first martyr of the Church named ... continue reading


Osama bin Laden's killer is under investigation for leaking classified documents Watch

Image of Robert O'Neill, the former Navy SEAL who claims to have been the man who killed Osama bin Laden.

By Matt Waterson (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

Robert O'Neill, the former U.S. Navy SEAL who shot and killed Osama bin Laden, is being investigated for leaking classified government secrets, after he revealed himself to be bin Laden's killer in November. LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - When O'Neill gave an ... continue reading


Does the U.S. hate cops? Despite media claims, Gallup poll reveals this is not true Watch

Image of While 48% of U.S. citizens say they believe that police are highly trustworthy and have high ethical standards, only 7% feel the same way about Congress.

By Matt Waterson (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

In the wake of the deaths of Michael Brown and Eric Garner, a very vocal portion of the U.S. population has risen up to condemned the assorted police and law enforcement agencies within the United States. They call these men and women, who put their lives on the ... continue reading


Deacon Keith Fournier: The Progressives of this Age Are Not Progressive - They are Regressive

Image of The Jewish and Christian worldview presents a true humanism, insisting that every human person has an inherent dignity because they are all created in the Image of God. That is progressive.

By Deacon Keith A Fournier

What is happening in our Nation is a clash of worldviews, personal and social, and competing definitions of human freedom, human flourishing and human progress. The positions being espoused - and lifestyles being called progressive - by those currently using ... continue reading


A journey to the land of the free: Part Two -- Like dogs in a pound, immigrants are stripped of all hope as basic human rights remain scarce along the border Watch

Image of

By Abigail James (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

"People have the right to migrate to sustain their lives and the lives of their families," states the first principle of the Three Basic Principles of Catholic Social Teaching on Immigration. LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - People have to right to feel safe in this ... continue reading


Guest Opinion: Priest-theologian praised 'American Sniper' Chris Kyle Watch

Image of Chris Kyle and his wife Taya before he was killed

By Matt C. Abbott

In light of the upcoming Clint Eastwood movie "American Sniper," which is based on the autobiography of the late Navy SEAL sniper Chris Kyle, I'm republishing a February 2013 interview I did with noted priest-author-theologian Father John Trigilio Jr., president of ... continue reading


Yankee's stand by fallen NYPD officers' children after inhumane murders Watch

Image of The murder of two NYPD officers this weekend hit the whole country hard.

By Abigail James (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

For the past 32 years, the Yankee Silver Shield Foundation has provided for the education of children from fallen New York City police officers, firemen, and Port Authority employees. LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - After the cold-blooded murder of NYPD officers, ... continue reading


All U.S. News

Newsletters

Newsletter Sign Up icon

Stay up to date with the latest news, information, and special offers

Daily Readings

Reading 1, First John 1:1-4
1 Something which has existed since the beginning, ... Read More

Psalm, Psalms 97:1-2, 5-6, 11-12
1 Yahweh is king! Let earth rejoice, the many isles ... Read More

Gospel, John 20:2-8
2 and came running to Simon Peter and the other ... Read More

Saint of the Day

Saint of the Day for December 27th, 2014 Image

St. John the Apostle
December 27: St. John, Apostle and Evangelist (Feast day - December ... Read More

Inform, Inspire & Ignite Logo

Find Catholic Online on Facebook and get updates right in your live feed.

Become a fan of Catholic Online on Facebook


Follow Catholic Online on Twitter and get News and Product updates.

Follow us on Twitter