Skip to content
Catholic Online Logo

By Catholic Online (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

2/25/2014 (2 years ago)

Catholic Online (

Road to recovery must remove levels of secrecy and shame, psychologists say

"I was only two years old when my father began molesting me," author Deborah King, an adult survivor of incest recalls. "At nine, he raped me, and continued to do so until I was thirteen. My mother ignored what was happening as my father abused me. As a child, this seemed like an even larger betrayal than what my father was doing to me. Having been betrayed by both parents is a devastating experience for any child." The road to recovery for any incest survivor, then, is an especially difficult one, as it must forcefully uncover long kept secrets and confront members of the survivor's family.

Speaking out on abuse by a relative is one of the most terrifying and most liberating things incest survivors can do.

Speaking out on abuse by a relative is one of the most terrifying and most liberating things incest survivors can do.


By Catholic Online (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

Catholic Online (

2/25/2014 (2 years ago)

Published in Marriage & Family

Keywords: Incest, sexual abuse, children, disclosure

LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - Incest has been around since ancient times and continues into the present day. Therefore, there are many popular misconceptions about this mostly secret crime.

One of the more common myths is that kids invent incest experiences. In fact, children don't invent experiences they've not had and most are afraid to talk about it when it is happening to them.

Browse our beautiful collection of crib medals by going here --

Another hateful misconception is that children "come on" to adults. In reality, incest is initiated by the abuser, usually accompanied by bribes or coercion and force.

Another myth is that the majority of child sexual abuse is done by strangers. The offender however is usually someone they know and trust - a father, stepfather, the mom's boyfriend, grandfather, brother, or uncle. Child abuse statistics show that 46 percent of childhood victims are raped by someone in their family. Boys are molested and experience adolescent sexual abuse too, but the great majority of incest is a male with the first or only daughter.

Another misconception is that children who are molested by a sibling are just exploring their sexuality. In truth, if the sibling is older and stronger and more in control, its incest and it's just as damaging as incest with a parent.

Deborah King, that author of the book, "Truth Heals: What You Hide Can Hurt You," says speaking out on abuse by a relative is "one of the most terrifying and most liberating things incest survivors can do. It helps to heal not only the victim, but also lifts the burden of secrecy by breaking the wall of silence that incest and family abuse hide behind for the countless numbers of us who have lived through this devastating experience.

"Silence is a major part of the problem of abuse," King said in a column in the Huffington Pose. "It takes a brave soul to break the code of silence: "This is our secret; DON'T TELL!" With an implied or direct threat of consequences - OR ELSE - if we do tell. It's the secret nature of incest that keeps its victims tied up in knots of guilt and shame, feeling 'dirty' and fearing the way they will be judged by others should they dare to speak their truth."

King notes that "more people are daring to speak out. According to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN), the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization, there was a big surge in people coming forward with their stories of adolescent sexual abuse after Mackenzie Phillips revealed her [incestuous] 'relationship' with her father."

She also says that calls to the National Sexual Assault Hotline, or 1-800-656-HOPE increased by 26 percent and traffic to the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline increased by 83 percent following these revelations. "As incest survivors know, we have to tell our story in order to start healing from abuse. Someone has to listen to us and believe us. The truth of our lives needs to be validated."

Pope Francis calls for your 'prayer and action'...


Pope Francis: end world hunger through 'Prayer and Action'

Copyright 2016 - Distributed by THE CALIFORNIA NETWORK

Pope Francis Prayer Intentions for SEPTEMBER 2016
Centrality of the Human Person: That each may contribute to the common good and to the building of a society that places the human person at the center.
Evangelization: Mission to Evangelize: That by participating in the Sacraments and meditating on Scripture, Christians may become more aware of their mission to evangelize.


More Marriage & Family


Image of

By Catholic Online

Catholic Online wants YOU to be a part of our newest video production! "Christmas Memories from Around the World" invites YOU to send us your favorite family Christmas memories for a chance to become a part of Catholic Online's new Christmas celebration video. We are ... continue reading

5 important scriptures to recite for your spouse Watch

Image of Remember to keep your relationship strong!


We all love our spouses - and some of us are still looking for that special someone - but whether you are in a relationship or just waiting for the person God chose for you, take a moment each day to consider these scriptures. LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - The ... continue reading

Doctors perform surgery on 28-week-old BABY STILL IN THE WOMB! Watch

Image of Doctors in China successfully performed life-saving surgery.


Doctors at Guangdong General Hospital were forced to perform immediate emergency surgery on an unborn 28-week-old child still in the womb. LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - Daily Mail explained the child's heart was no larger than the size of a walnut but required ... continue reading

'I thought I lost her' - Girl born with water instead of blood shocks doctors Watch

Image of Little Frankie received a miracle (Alex Cousins/SWNS).


Frankie Morrison was born via emergency C-section when medics discovered she was not moving within the womb. Doctors warned her parents, Maria and Chris Morrison, to expect the worst - But God had other plans. LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - Maria was rushed to an ... continue reading

WATCH NOW Baby's heart beats outside body (WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT) Watch

Image of Baby Henry was born with two serious heart conditions (Hope for Henry/Facebook).


Henry Charles Dolan was born 12-weeks premature with two congenital heart defects. His miraculous journey has been captured from the beginning by his parents Mollie and Sam Dolan. LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - According to the Hope for Henry Facebook page, Henry ... continue reading

Planned Parenthood celebrates 100-year anniversary of promoting murder and telling women they are weak Watch

Image of Protesters call for an end to Planned Parenthood.

By Matt Hadro (CNA/EWTN News)

As Planned Parenthood celebrates the centennial of the opening of its first birth control clinic, pro-life leaders are condemning the abuses of the nation's largest abortion provider. Washington D.C. (CNA/EWTN News) - "Planned Parenthood's 100-year anniversary is a ... continue reading

Pope Francis visits 'SOS Mother' Watch

Image of Pope Francis spent time with some of Rome's children.

By Hannah Brockhaus (CNA/EWTN News)

On Friday Pope Francis visited with young children at the "SOS Village" in Rome, a community made up of homes for children who are in positions of family or social hardship, as recommended by social services. Rome, Italy (CNA/EWTN News) - The Village, as it is called, ... continue reading

Family celebrates miracle baby's first birthday after told she had only 15 percent chance of survival Watch

Image of Emie's parents refused to abort her (SWNS).


Jo and Chris Scott were told their unborn daughter Emie was "incompatible with life" and the doctors claimed the little girl only had a 15 percent chance of survival. LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - The Scotts refused to listen as doctor after doctor recommended ... continue reading

'I ate my twin in the womb' - Peach-sized cyst reveals BRAIN, teeth and hair Watch

Image of Natashjja Heming claims to have


Natashjja Heming experienced severe pain since she was 13-years-old. She chalked it up to menstrual cramps, but discovered the truth was something much worse. LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - Heming believed the sharp pain she experienced was normal but when she was ... continue reading

10 scriptures to pray for ultimate marriage blessings Watch

Image of What the Bible says about praying for your marriage.


The Lord blesses our marriages but it is important to remember to pray for more blessings, for understanding of one another, and more. LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - Marriage, much like other relationships, require maintenance every now and then to ensure it ... continue reading

All Marriage & Family News


Newsletter Sign Up icon

Stay up to date with the latest news, information, and special offers

Subscribe to Catholic OnlineYouTube Channel

Daily Readings

Reading 1, Ephesians 4:7-16
7 On each one of us God's favour has been bestowed in whatever way Christ ... Read More

Psalm, Psalms 122:1-2, 3-4, 4-5
1 [Song of Ascents Of David] I rejoiced that they said to me, 'Let us go ... Read More

Gospel, Luke 13:1-9
1 It was just about this time that some people arrived and told him about ... Read More

Saint of the Day

Saint of the Day for October 22nd, 2016 Image

St. Pope John Paul II
October 22: Karol J. Wojtyla, known as John Paul II since his ... Read More