Skip to content
Catholic Online Logo

By Catholic Online (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

2/25/2014 (1 year ago)

Catholic Online (www.catholic.org)

Road to recovery must remove levels of secrecy and shame, psychologists say

"I was only two years old when my father began molesting me," author Deborah King, an adult survivor of incest recalls. "At nine, he raped me, and continued to do so until I was thirteen. My mother ignored what was happening as my father abused me. As a child, this seemed like an even larger betrayal than what my father was doing to me. Having been betrayed by both parents is a devastating experience for any child." The road to recovery for any incest survivor, then, is an especially difficult one, as it must forcefully uncover long kept secrets and confront members of the survivor's family.

Speaking out on abuse by a relative is one of the most terrifying and most liberating things incest survivors can do.

Speaking out on abuse by a relative is one of the most terrifying and most liberating things incest survivors can do.

Highlights

By Catholic Online (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

Catholic Online (www.catholic.org)

2/25/2014 (1 year ago)

Published in Marriage & Family

Keywords: Incest, sexual abuse, children, disclosure


LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - Incest has been around since ancient times and continues into the present day. Therefore, there are many popular misconceptions about this mostly secret crime.

One of the more common myths is that kids invent incest experiences. In fact, children don't invent experiences they've not had and most are afraid to talk about it when it is happening to them.

Browse our beautiful collection of crib medals by going here --

Another hateful misconception is that children "come on" to adults. In reality, incest is initiated by the abuser, usually accompanied by bribes or coercion and force.

Another myth is that the majority of child sexual abuse is done by strangers. The offender however is usually someone they know and trust - a father, stepfather, the mom's boyfriend, grandfather, brother, or uncle. Child abuse statistics show that 46 percent of childhood victims are raped by someone in their family. Boys are molested and experience adolescent sexual abuse too, but the great majority of incest is a male with the first or only daughter.

Another misconception is that children who are molested by a sibling are just exploring their sexuality. In truth, if the sibling is older and stronger and more in control, its incest and it's just as damaging as incest with a parent.

Deborah King, that author of the book, "Truth Heals: What You Hide Can Hurt You," says speaking out on abuse by a relative is "one of the most terrifying and most liberating things incest survivors can do. It helps to heal not only the victim, but also lifts the burden of secrecy by breaking the wall of silence that incest and family abuse hide behind for the countless numbers of us who have lived through this devastating experience.

"Silence is a major part of the problem of abuse," King said in a column in the Huffington Pose. "It takes a brave soul to break the code of silence: "This is our secret; DON'T TELL!" With an implied or direct threat of consequences - OR ELSE - if we do tell. It's the secret nature of incest that keeps its victims tied up in knots of guilt and shame, feeling 'dirty' and fearing the way they will be judged by others should they dare to speak their truth."

King notes that "more people are daring to speak out. According to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN), the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization, there was a big surge in people coming forward with their stories of adolescent sexual abuse after Mackenzie Phillips revealed her [incestuous] 'relationship' with her father."

She also says that calls to the National Sexual Assault Hotline, or 1-800-656-HOPE increased by 26 percent and traffic to the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline increased by 83 percent following these revelations. "As incest survivors know, we have to tell our story in order to start healing from abuse. Someone has to listen to us and believe us. The truth of our lives needs to be validated."

Pope Francis calls for your 'prayer and action'...

---


Pope Francis: end world hunger through 'Prayer and Action'


Copywriter 2015 - Distributed by THE NEWS CONSORTIUM

Pope Francis Prayer Intentions for July 2015
Universal:
That political responsibility may be lived at all levels as a high form of charity.
Evangelization: That, amid social inequalities, Latin American Christians may bear witness to love for the poor and contribute to a more fraternal society.



Comments


More Marriage & Family

Warning: Signs you are dating an emotional manipulator and why you should leave ASAP

Image of

By Atarah Haely (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

There are no perfect people or perfect relationships, however, we should always be conscious to when someone does cross the line with you - whether they are deliberately causing the other to feel bad or not. According to an expert, there are certain signs that someone ... continue reading


3 wonderful phrases guaranteed to improve your marriage

Image of

By Hannah Marfil (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

While it may not be all bliss, marriage can be happy if both husband and wife know how to communicate with each other truthfully and effectively. Most of the time, relationships fall apart, not because the couple doesn't love each other anymore, but because they feel ... continue reading


Exorcism at the Park: Several witnesses speak of bizarre exorcism at local park Watch

Image of

By Nikky Andres (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

A strange and unexpected incident where three people were seen performing an exorcism at a public park in Texas occurred on July 30, according to several witnesses. MUNTINLUPA, PHILIPPINES (Catholic Online) - "They start getting louder and louder," explained one ... continue reading


Are you a conspiracy theorist? New study aims to find why some people are more likely to buy into conspiracies Watch

Image of

By Nikky Andres (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

Although many would like to think otherwise, one professor believes conspiracy theorists are not classified as crazy or mad people; they just have specific "intellectual character traits" that make them more predisposed to believing in certain things. MUNTINLUPA, ... continue reading


Young boy shocks mailman with inspiring wish Watch

Image of

By Talia Ramos (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

During a routine mail delivery, a mailman from Utah encountered a young boy searching through a junk mail bin. Curious, he asked the boy what he was doing. The boy's response prompted him to lend a hand. Through a Facebook post, the pair has now received a worldwide ... continue reading


Christian minister barred from juvenile detention center for refusing to sign form agreeing not to call homosexuality 'sinful'

Image of

By Nikky Andres (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

Kentucky Department of Juvenile Justice detention center is being accused of unconstitutional action  by a Christian minister after its officials reportedly repealed his volunteer prison status because of his denial to comply with an LGBT policy. MUNTINLUPA, ... continue reading


Internationally famous magazine that 'glorifies porn and sexual violence' FINALLY COVERED UP in thousands of stores Watch

Image of

By Nikky Andres (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

A campaign against the popular magazine Cosmopolitan has caused two supermarket and drug store chains to announce that they will now be covering up copies of Cosmopolitan magazine with blinders. This campaign aims to protect minors from the magazine's sexual content. ... continue reading


If I were the Devil

Image of

By Paul Harvey

If I were the devil . If I were the Prince of Darkness, I'd want to engulf the whole world in darkness. And I'd have a third of it's real estate, and four-fifths of its population, but I wouldn't be happy until I had seized the ripest apple on the tree ... continue reading


Restraining order issued against release of infamous Planned Parenthood videos Watch

Image of A Placerville-based company, StemExpress began in 2010 to provide human tissue, blood and other specimens to scientific researchers. Cate Dyer, pictured, is the CEO.

By Catholic Online (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

A series of nauseating videos, where Planned Parenthood officials are shown striking deals for baby body parts for stem cell research - for cash on the barrelhead, has been widely seen online and elsewhere. The group responsible for disseminating these videos, ... continue reading


3 wonderful ways to become irresistible to your husband Watch

Image of

By Hannah Marfil (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

Marriage is holy. However, both man and woman must work out some differences and bridge the distance they may begin experiencing. Having God alongside them to guide their actions and thoughts over the relationship is the first and foremost necessity for all good ... continue reading


All Marriage & Family News

Newsletters

Newsletter Sign Up icon

Stay up to date with the latest news, information, and special offers

Daily Readings

Reading 1, Numbers 11:4-15
4 The rabble who had joined the people were feeling ... Read More

Psalm, Psalms 81:12-13, 14-15, 16-17
12 So I left them to their stubborn selves, to follow ... Read More

Gospel, Matthew 14:13-21
13 When Jesus received this news he withdrew by boat ... Read More

Saint of the Day

Saint of the Day for August 3rd, 2015 Image

St. Lydia Purpuraria
August 3: Lydia Purpuraria (1st century) was born at Thyatira (Ak-Hissar), ... Read More

Inform, Inspire & Ignite Logo

Find Catholic Online on Facebook and get updates right in your live feed.

Become a fan of Catholic Online on Facebook


Follow Catholic Online on Twitter and get News and Product updates.

Follow us on Twitter