Skip to content
Catholic Online Logo

By Catholic Online (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

2/25/2014 (1 year ago)

Catholic Online (www.catholic.org)

Road to recovery must remove levels of secrecy and shame, psychologists say

"I was only two years old when my father began molesting me," author Deborah King, an adult survivor of incest recalls. "At nine, he raped me, and continued to do so until I was thirteen. My mother ignored what was happening as my father abused me. As a child, this seemed like an even larger betrayal than what my father was doing to me. Having been betrayed by both parents is a devastating experience for any child." The road to recovery for any incest survivor, then, is an especially difficult one, as it must forcefully uncover long kept secrets and confront members of the survivor's family.

Speaking out on abuse by a relative is one of the most terrifying and most liberating things incest survivors can do.

Speaking out on abuse by a relative is one of the most terrifying and most liberating things incest survivors can do.

Highlights

By Catholic Online (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

Catholic Online (www.catholic.org)

2/25/2014 (1 year ago)

Published in Marriage & Family

Keywords: Incest, sexual abuse, children, disclosure


LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - Incest has been around since ancient times and continues into the present day. Therefore, there are many popular misconceptions about this mostly secret crime.

One of the more common myths is that kids invent incest experiences. In fact, children don't invent experiences they've not had and most are afraid to talk about it when it is happening to them.

Browse our beautiful collection of crib medals by going here --

Another hateful misconception is that children "come on" to adults. In reality, incest is initiated by the abuser, usually accompanied by bribes or coercion and force.

Another myth is that the majority of child sexual abuse is done by strangers. The offender however is usually someone they know and trust - a father, stepfather, the mom's boyfriend, grandfather, brother, or uncle. Child abuse statistics show that 46 percent of childhood victims are raped by someone in their family. Boys are molested and experience adolescent sexual abuse too, but the great majority of incest is a male with the first or only daughter.

Another misconception is that children who are molested by a sibling are just exploring their sexuality. In truth, if the sibling is older and stronger and more in control, its incest and it's just as damaging as incest with a parent.

Deborah King, that author of the book, "Truth Heals: What You Hide Can Hurt You," says speaking out on abuse by a relative is "one of the most terrifying and most liberating things incest survivors can do. It helps to heal not only the victim, but also lifts the burden of secrecy by breaking the wall of silence that incest and family abuse hide behind for the countless numbers of us who have lived through this devastating experience.

"Silence is a major part of the problem of abuse," King said in a column in the Huffington Pose. "It takes a brave soul to break the code of silence: "This is our secret; DON'T TELL!" With an implied or direct threat of consequences - OR ELSE - if we do tell. It's the secret nature of incest that keeps its victims tied up in knots of guilt and shame, feeling 'dirty' and fearing the way they will be judged by others should they dare to speak their truth."

King notes that "more people are daring to speak out. According to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN), the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization, there was a big surge in people coming forward with their stories of adolescent sexual abuse after Mackenzie Phillips revealed her [incestuous] 'relationship' with her father."

She also says that calls to the National Sexual Assault Hotline, or 1-800-656-HOPE increased by 26 percent and traffic to the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline increased by 83 percent following these revelations. "As incest survivors know, we have to tell our story in order to start healing from abuse. Someone has to listen to us and believe us. The truth of our lives needs to be validated."

Pope Francis calls for your 'prayer and action'...

---


Pope Francis: end world hunger through 'Prayer and Action'


Copywriter 2015 - Distributed by THE NEWS CONSORTIUM

Pope Francis Prayer Intentions for February 2015
General Intention:
That prisoners, especially the young, may be able to rebuild lives of dignity.
Missionary Intention: That married people who are separated may find welcome and support in the Christian community.



Comments


More Marriage & Family

10 silly reasons why being in a relationship is awesome Watch

Image of

By Abigail James (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

While we're all for power in the single person, being in a relationship can be a great thing, especially if you are comfortable with the person. You get warmth and love, but there are quite a few other great things, often taken for granted, that you are gifted when in ... continue reading


Are you having a bad hair day? 13 ways to turn your boring ponytail into something exciting Watch

Image of Don't let your hair drag you down anymore; tie it up and take control.

By Abigail James (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

It's one of those days; your hair isn't cooperating at all and you've reduced yourself to a simple ponytail to reign in your wild hair. However, the ponytail doesn't have to be an unfavorable, last ditch resort anymore. LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - After you ... continue reading


Need change, but can't commit? 11 ways to temporarily change your hair, that won't leave you with regret Watch

Image of

By Abigail James (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

Hair is a funny thing; it's with you all the time and you become so used to it and comfortable with it. At the same time, you can begin to get completely sick of it, but remain afraid of changing it. LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - If you make a drastic change to ... continue reading


Watch what happens when you ask adorable kids questions about love Watch

Image of Jubilee Project's latest video shows kids may know more about love than most adults.

By Abigail James (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

It's amazing how much insight young children have that often goes unnoticed. This group of kids under the age of 12 were asked questions about love, and what they say is brilliant. LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - Jubilee Project, a nonprofit group seeking to ... continue reading


3 easy ways to meet your match this Valentine's Day Watch

Image of Places to meet potential romance are behind every corner.

By Catholic Online (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

If you're single this Valentine's Day, take heart - there are a lot of places in which to meet other people who are anxious to get to know you! Let's cross off the most obvious one - single bars. With their loud, deafening music, and alcohol-impaired patrons, ... continue reading


Lift up love and marriages around you with these 6 ways to pray for marriages Watch

Image of

By Abigail James (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

While it is important to try to express appreciation and love to your significant other every day, there are a choice few days in the year that remind you to reconnect and make time for each other. LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - Valentine's Day is shaped all ... continue reading


Do you hate Valentine's Day? Here's how to fight back! Watch

Image of Hate how Valentine's Day is celebrated? Tired of gender stereotypes reinforced by slick marketing? Fight back, retake the HOLY DAY for St. Valentine and the people who are most worthy of your love.

By Catholic Online (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

Valentine's Day is supposed to be the feast day of St. Valentine, the Roman saint who gave his life for his steadfastness in faith. Despite the sacrifice by the early Catholic cleric, the modern interpretation of the holiday has devolved into a secular orgy of ... continue reading


10 ways to avoid those 'love blunders' this Valentine's Day Watch

Image of

By Catholic Online (News Consortium)

The custom of showing affection and attention to loved ones on Valentine's Day, Feb. 14, has become part of the fabric of our culture. There is a kind of unwritten law or expectation that, on that day, spouses are supposed to do or give something that signifies ... continue reading


40 beautiful quotes about love that will ignite the flame in your heart Watch

Image of

By Abigail James (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

When you fall in love, your whole self is consumed. You are constantly enthralled with thoughts of your loved one. Here are 40 beautiful quotes about love that will bring a certain someone to mind: LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - 1. "If I loved you less, I might be ... continue reading


Need help with your marriage? Here are 5 'Commandments' for a healthy marriage Watch

Image of

By Abigail James (NEWS CONSORTIUM)

At times, marriage can be tough. Compromising with another person every day can get tiring, leaving you exhausted and feeling lost. You are not alone. No marriage is perfect and happy all the time. LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - With the help from ... continue reading


All Marriage & Family News

Newsletters

Newsletter Sign Up icon

Stay up to date with the latest news, information, and special offers

Daily Readings

Reading 1, Deuteronomy 26:16-19
16 'Yahweh your God commands you today to observe ... Read More

Psalm, Psalms 119:1-2, 4-5, 7-8
1 How blessed are those whose way is blameless, who ... Read More

Gospel, Matthew 5:43-48
43 'You have heard how it was said, You will love ... Read More

Saint of the Day

Saint of the Day for February 28th, 2015 Image

St. Hilary, Pope
February 28: Pope from 461-468 and guardian of Church unity. He was born in ... Read More

Inform, Inspire & Ignite Logo

Find Catholic Online on Facebook and get updates right in your live feed.

Become a fan of Catholic Online on Facebook


Follow Catholic Online on Twitter and get News and Product updates.

Follow us on Twitter