| U.S. News

My friends are pairing off left and right, and I’m genuinely thrilled for all of them. I like weddings. They honor couples that have chosen to make an admirable and loving commitment. They celebrate who have chosen the person who forever will be by their side. Plus, there’s usually cake.

As happy as I am for my married friends, the single life and the uncertainty that comes with it isn’t always easy. Living on my own can be difficult and, frankly, boring. But I’m finding that it can also be liberating, exciting and a time for true spiritual growth. And, more and more, I’m finding I’m not alone.

In 2006, the number of people 18 and older who had never married reach 55 million, according to the United States Census data, an increase from 10 years earlier. And today, the term “single” has a broader meaning, and includes a diverse crowd of energetic men and women who have been widowed, separated or divorced. There are nearly 100 million singles in the United States, and that number includes more than a few Catholics.

Whether or not we’ll eventually send out sparkly invitations of our own is a common topic among my 20-something single friends. But we’re in good company as we discover how God is calling us to live out our current single state. In 2005, the average ages at which American men and women married were approximately 27 and 25, respectively, up from 23 and 21 in 1970. And studies say the single life has its benefits, including the ability to form closer ties with friends and family.

Rebecca Peters, 25, has done just that, demonstrating what many already know – that the single life is not a selfish one. She served for two years as a full-time Jesuit volunteer in Belize, where she found a faith-filled environment among her fellow community members and formed a broad range of supportive friendships.

“It was a really great experience to be part of something bigger and to have people to count on,” she said. “Whether or not you’re in a couple, you can always be part of a community.”

After volunteering, Peters chose to delay entering graduate school in favor of living with her brother and sister-in-law in Dayton, Ohio, to help care for her nephew – something she knows she would not have had the time to do if she were married.

“They have a need, and I am the one person who is able to fulfill that, and they are able to give me things I need like love, community and a place to live. I get to see my nephew grow up, and it gives me experience hopefully for when I have my own kids.”

Still, not all of today’s singles see their state as preparation for a future romance. For Sally Connolly, who was widowed nearly three years ago, being single in her 60s took some getting used to.

After her husband’s death, Connolly threw herself into editing a book of his essays, and also began doing some writing of her own. “I didn’t have time [before Gene’s death]. And if he were alive I wouldn’t be doing it now. I guess I’m using that energy and redirecting it. I’ve been busy with the children, the grandchildren and writing, and in the good weather, I have a lot of projects outside. In spite of my loss, there are beautiful things happening all around me.”

Current technology also has given Connolly a chance to make small liberating changes in her lifestyle. With the help of a GPS, she said, “I went out and traveled around some of the communities {near Danvers, Mass.] . I never would have done that before. Gene drove and I never really paid attention.”

Of course, being newly single doesn’t have to involve a personality overhaul. “I know my church has a very nice group for people who are single and have had some kind of loss. I’ve heard that it’s very hard, but that’s not really what I want to do,” said Connolly. “I was never a group person before, and I’m not about to change that now.”

For singles looking to become involved in a parish’s everyday ministry, it’s often left to the individual to make the first move. Pastors and parish staff looking to include singles in mainstream ministry need to remember the importance of extending an invitation to their diverse body of parishioners.

“Whenever we’re working with parishes in terms of the laity, we try to keep in front of them the fact that there are different folks in front of them. They’re older, they’re younger, they’re single young adults, they’re older singles, they’re married, divorced, and widowed,” said Sister Eileen McCann, a program coordinator for young people at the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops’ Secretariat for Family, Laity, Women, and Youth. “So hopefully parishes are looking at all of that and they keep that in mind whatever programs they put out.”

Bob Tyer, 66 and single all his life, acknowledges the efforts of his parish in Springfield, Mass., to reach all members. But he remembers a time when he wondered if he would be welcome in a ...