| U.S. News

The names they chose for their boys, Mateo Asher and McHale Twain, reveal much about the parents and the journey on which they embarked in welcoming these two new lives into their family. Mateo and McHale mean “gift of God;” Mateo reflects Benzschawel’s Spanish heritage and McHale, Shaw’s Irish background.

Asher means “to be blessed,” while Twain means “to be cut in two.” The babies were born conjoined and required surgical separation to save their lives.

The couple learned they were expecting conjoined twins during Benzschawel’s 18th week of pregnancy. A routine screening indicated the possibility of spina bifida, a birth defect characterized by an incomplete closure of the spinal column. A follow-up ultrasound revealed not one, but two babies.

“The first two hours, we were very excited to discover we were having twins,” said Benzschawel.

That elation quickly turned to fear when their doctor explained the twins were conjoined, and that both babies had spina bifida and hydrocephalus, a build up of cerebrospinal fluid in the brain occurring because the spinal defect prevents normal drainage of the fluids.

“We were told we still had opportunities to terminate the pregnancy,” said Shaw. “But that wasn’t an option for us. It’s not for us to play God just because of potential problems.”

Shaw continued, “We decided we would leave it up to the boys, and whatever was going to be, was going to be. We weren’t going to put (the decision of) their birth, and what was going to happen, into the hands of doctors. And we believed God would see it through.”

Benzschawel and Shaw were grounded in faith since childhood. They both come from Catholic families; Benzschawel was raised in Sheboygan and attended her parish school at St. Dominic, and Shaw was active in his family’s parish while growing up in Illinois. The couple plans to marry this fall.

“I think this type of situation,” said Benzschawel, “can either bring you closer to God, or push you away. After a lot of prayer, we felt safer leaving the boys’ fate to God.”

That fate, they were told by their doctors, could include severe disabilities, and the possibility of a shortened life due to those disabilities.

“The doctors do tell you some pretty scary stuff,” said Benzschawel.

They were also warned of the difficulty, once attachments to the child are formed, of letting go of a baby fated to a short life.

“They told us the last known male survivors of separated conjoined twins in the U.S. were back in 1957,” said Shaw.

Because the boys also had spina bifida, they were told their sons had just a 5 percent chance of survival.

“That wasn’t a lot,” admitted Shaw, “but it was something.”

The other unknown was the quality of life the boys would experience if they survived. The doctors also warned that the boys might have serious cognitive deficiencies. That was hard for Benzschawel and Shaw to hear.

“No parent wants to think of their child sitting in a chair and staring out a window all day,” said Shaw.

For Benzschawel and Shaw, however, the decision was not what was easiest for them as parents, but what was best for their boys. They decided in favor of life, and vowed to accept these new lives into their family.

The couple researched hospitals with experience in separating conjoined twins and treating their sons’ medical problems. They chose Children’s National Medical Center in Washington.

The boys were born May 10, 2006, at 32 weeks gestation, joined at the lower back and sharing a spine. They were baptized as soon as they were stabilized. Four months later, they underwent the 19-hour surgery to separate them.

After a bumpy recovery, with a few scares and setbacks, McHale was discharged from the hospital Nov. 9 and Mateo Nov. 27. The family flew home to Sheboygan in mid-December.

Thanks to a baby shower held by St. Dominic Parish while the family was in Washington, the boys’ nursery was ready for them.

“We didn’t buy a lot of baby stuff before we went to D.C.,” said Angie, explaining that if the boys didn’t survive, they did not want to come home to rooms they had prepared for their children.

St. Dominic’s Elizabeth Ministry brought meals to the family every Tuesday and Thursday throughout January, February and March.

“We were down in Milwaukee quite often (for doctor appointments), and by the time we got back, it would be late. It was so nice to have those home-cooked meals ready for us,” said Shaw.

The family continues making weekly rounds to doctor appointments and therapies. In addition to spina bifida and hydrocephalus, the boys have dislocated hips, hearing loss, and other medical challenges. They will also need to make periodic trips to Children’s National Medical Center in Washington, D.C. for ...