thought that God simply didn't want to answer my prayers. But this time, I felt no fear. I found the whole thing funny, in fact, and couldn't wait to see what would happen next!

Lesson #4

Last November I met someone who had absolutely no business showing up. He wasn't anywhere on my wish lists.

For one, he's a musician; and I swore off musicians years ago.

Second, he violated some of the non-negotiable items in my inventory: did not earn an advanced degree from a reputable college, had not gotten a membership card to the New York Public Library system and was not well-acquainted with any of our city's museums.

But despite all, I agreed to a date.

And here's the final lesson. On our second date, the conversation came around to my interests in flash mobs and public art.

He listened attentively and then said, "You strike me as someone who doesn't know your own worth."

Before my spiritual awakening, I'd have pegged him as a player who knew exactly what women want to hear. But he was so guileless and said it with such compassion, I couldn't dismiss him. I casually agreed with him and told myself to give this guy a chance.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

One time we began talking about our wish lists, and I rattled off all of my demands. He bravely pointed out two things: one, that he fit none of my criteria, and two, that not anywhere on those lists were things about how I'd like men to treat me.

This was a huge revelation.

Why hadn't this occurred to me before? I'd just assumed that would be part of the package, particularly if a man has a basic respect for women. But the point is less about who these men on my wish lists were in reality and more about why that was missing from my criteria.

And it dawned on me: perhaps it's what God wants for me, because I realized that, all too often, He cares more for me than I care for myself.

Had I truly been willing to compromise how I wanted to be treated in exchange for a guy with a library card or a museum membership?

It would seem so.

And here was someone I never even asked for, reminding me of the greatest lesson I could learn: wish lists, masquerading as prayers, may not be in accordance with God's will. Welcoming the unexpected makes it so much more interesting, too!