Rest in the Peace of the Lord Ma: My Mother Ellen has Died, After a Life Well Lived

3/6/2013

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on the Nicene Creed and handing on the deposit if faith. I knew that the best tribute I could give to Ma was to show up, thank them for their love for the Lord and their children and encourage them to do what my mother had done for me. So, I did just that.

Once again, I experienced the grace that comes from living faith inspired by the love I had been so privileged to receive from Ma. I know that love was a participation in God's love. I also know my experience of calm last night was a sort of self protection; the numbness that often accompanies the early stages of a great loss.

I awakened this morning and the other side of that loss hit me. I began what I know will be a deep and profound time of grieving. I have tried to counsel myself with the words I have offered many others as they have lost parents, spouses, children and friends over the years.

I know, as I am so fond of saying to others, that the depth of the grief is a sign of the depth of the love; another face of love. However, that does not take away the pain. It simply gives it the ground within which to be planted. It will take much care from the Lord to give it the growth. I cannot stop crying today.

Ma loved. She loved her husband, the love of her life. How she enjoyed telling the story of how they met in the bakery she worked in. How many times I heard how she would make sure his jelly donuts had extra jelly in them. In an age which has declared war on the kind of gritty, longsuffering, persevering and loyal love which forges lasting marriages, she showed me the great mystery which is at the heart of the Christian faith. For that I will always be grateful.

In the economic poverty of our youth (which we children really never even knew existed until years later) she created an environment which was rich in the only wealth that passes beyond the grave, the wealth of love and hospitality. There was always room in our house for the relatives who lost all. And they were very often there, living right with us.

There was always room at our table for anyone who was hungry. It mattered little what time of day - or night - you arrived at our home, Ma would always ask "can I fix you a plate?" That meant, "let me feed you". She loved to feed everyone.

As someone who has struggled with weight much of my life I spent my earlier years a bit irritated over what I thought was a preoccupation with food in our family because we are poor. Then, I finally awakened to the truth that for Ma, food, well prepared and enjoyed, was just another way of showing love.

In the ups and downs which accompanied a life which many would see as having been very hard, even unbearable, Ma rarely complained. Memories of her forbearance and longsuffering became a beacon of light at many dark chapters in my own life. As I have aged, I have also learned to welcome the teachers, the inevitable pains and struggles of my life. I know that Ma taught me, mostly by example, how to learn their lessons.

Rest in the Peace of the Lord Ma. I miss you deeply. I love you. I will write again.Give my love to Dad. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

- - -

Pope Benedict XVI's Prayer Intentions for January 2013
General Intention: The Faith of Christians. That in this Year of Faith Christians may deepen their knowledge of the mystery of Christ and witness joyfully to the gift of faith in him.
Missionary Intention: Middle Eastern Christians. That the Christian communities of the Middle East, often discriminated against, may receive from the Holy Spirit the strength of fidelity and perseverance.

Keywords: Mother, ma, death, life, motherly love, Mother of God, Mary, Ellen Fournier, family, marriage, Duval Founier, mourning, loss, grieving, Deacon Keith Fournier

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1 - 10 of 23 Comments

Eileen Ferrara
2 weeks ago
What a wonderful tribute. Well said. God Bless.
Emma
2 months ago
Your beloved Ma came alive to me through your story of her; especially the remembrance of shared meals with those in dire straits, having been the recipient of meals from other "Mas" along my journey. There surely was a special crown reserved for her that she joyfully wears. My condolences and prayers are offered for both her and your family. In love, Emma de la Cruz
Chuck Denison
2 months ago
Keith,

Really sorry to hear of your loss. I remember her so vividly -- for some reason, most especially that cold morning your idling Chevrolet caught fire in front of the apartment .... "“One of the saddest things in life, is the things one remembers.” Agatha Christie. Anyway, prayers for you this week -- hope you are doing well. Will her service be in FL? In Lakeland? RSVP if you get the chance.

Love you,
Chuck
Faith E. Sharkey
2 months ago
My heart goes out to you and your family as you mourn the loss of your beloved mother, but I rejoice that she was able to "go home" where she so longed to be. It was indeed time for her well deserved rest as all of us will be called home one day. She will be waiting to join each of you one day when your time comes and the joy of Christ with Christ will be shared. Until then, please know that many will be praying for your family and your Mom.
mgm.
2 months ago
My sincere condolences Deacon.
Mrs. Rene O'Riordan
2 months ago
I am so, so sorry for your loss Deacon Keith - If, at my departure, my sons could speak of me as you have of your mom I would be the most joyful of souls entering into the place prepared for me by Jesus. If joy can be added to the perfect joy you have increased your mom's joy. - Blessings and gratitude to you for all you have done for me on my journey and blessings and thanks to the mother who taught you. - Rene
jlf
2 months ago
Rev. Deacon, "Ma" is very much alive. I heard her voice quite clearly throughout your article. She's rejoicing now; not just for herself, but because she sees what our Lord has in store for you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for introducing me to her.
kathleen
2 months ago
Dear Deacon,

I have come to know you through your articles of life. You have given us, your readers lessons, instruction,and yes at times humor. You have helped your unknown audience in many ways and for that I am most thankful. I just wish I could offer something to you in your family's time of sorrow but no set of words could ever be adequate.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved mother, but you know something? I have a distinct feeling she was proud of her children and honored to have been your mother.
May eternal light shine upon her, and may she rest in peace.
Rachel Galloway
2 months ago
Dearest Deacon Keith, my sincere condolence from the bottom of my heart...I very well
relate to your to your beautiful story about the loss of your beautiful "Ma"...I lost my "Mama"
at the young age of 56yr. to Diabetes in 1964.....Your beautiful tribute to your beloved
Mother brought tears to my eyes...Tears for your heartache of loss and tears of my memories of my beloved Mother...GOD bless you and your family and may our Blessed Mother help to alleviate the deep pain of your loss thru all our prayers...Que te vendiga
DIOS...
Larry
2 months ago
Deacon Keith,

My heart goes out to you and your family. I lost my Mom last may and the loss still stings.

But reading your article, I just can't help but thinking that your Mom was embraced quite heartily and heard those wrods we all long to hear, "Well done my good and faithful servant".

God bless you and your family - I will keep your Mom and Dad in my prayers, along with mine.

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