Guest Reflection: In Christian Marriage, True Submission Means True Success

By Dan Shea
1/27/2012
Catholic Online (www.catholic.org)

It is one of the paradoxes of creation that we gain control by submission.

Few consider the power of submission; it is a simple, voluntary yielding done out of love for someone or something. An athlete voluntarily submits to the agony of training and competition. In his pain, he is united with his fellow competitors as they strive to meet their goals.

When one submits to their partner and the will of God, they build a lasting union on a foundation of love

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FLORIDA (Catholic Online) - "It is one of the paradoxes of creation that we gain control by submission." (Fulton J. Sheen)

Yet submission's reputation is worse than any four-letter word currently in use. Feminist groups and others have denigrated the concept of submission without considering its merits. Children submit to the authority of their parents, teachers, religious and community leaders.

Adults submit to the laws of the land, their employers, the demands of their state in life, to various rules and organizations that serve their purposes. All of these things make for good children, good parents, and good citizens.

Still, few consider the power of submission; it is a simple, voluntary yielding done out of love for someone or something. An athlete voluntarily submits to the agony of training and competition. In his pain, he is united with his fellow competitors as they strive to meet their goals.

Most sacrifice is an exchange of immediate gratification for a higher good to be enjoyed later. Self-sacrifice provides its own reward; it is the essence of success. It is unrealistic to believe success can be attained without submission and sacrifice. Success is forged by desire and hard work. Time and again, the temptation to shortcut the process obliterates these truths.

Today, couples think of submission as it relates to marital relations but it extends further, to respect for other's experience, wisdom and dignity. Married couples conquer the world and its temptations by sacrificing for each other and their families.

When one submits to their partner and the will of God, they build a lasting union on a foundation of love. This love grows in direct proportion to the defeat of the ego. Couples must love each other without bitterness and safeguard their families' well being in a generous and devoted manner. In this way, families are united through mutual sacrifice.

Submission is the stuff of successful people. People, who form good habits, learn from experience, establish loyalties, accept others and expect specific results from their efforts and actions. Working together to attain common goals demands cooperation. Doing this amicably is a notable feat. Success derived in unity of purpose and mind is a special joy.

People who believe God has a plan for their lives do not alter it to accommodate their wishes. Submission is not defeat, often; it is the ultimate success achieved by submitting to the notion, "Thy will be done."

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Dan Shea lives and writes from Florida. Long active in his parish and in the Right to Life movement, he has written two books "Beyond Banter & Banalities" and "Breaking Father Down."

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Pope Benedict XVI's Prayer Intentions for January 2013
General Intention: The Faith of Christians. That in this Year of Faith Christians may deepen their knowledge of the mystery of Christ and witness joyfully to the gift of faith in him.
Missionary Intention: Middle Eastern Christians. That the Christian communities of the Middle East, often discriminated against, may receive from the Holy Spirit the strength of fidelity and perseverance.

Keywords: Marriage, submission, love, Dan Shea, Fulton Sheen, family, holiness

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1 - 6 of 6 Comments

mary
1 year ago
@ David: you sound like a sensible and sensitive Catholic who truly believes in unconditional love and strives toward becoming Christ-like. God bless good husbands like you!
Brian
1 year ago
Anyone who wishes to get a deeper understanding of the biblical family model and how our marital relationships are enhanced by living it should check out "Love and Respect" by Emerson Eggerichs. The book is great, the DVDs are AWESOME.

Matthew 19: 4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

God Bless
David Carlon
1 year ago
I love my wife dearly... I have been married for 31 years and believe that it is sinful to submit to a creature and its fanciful and capricious nature... I submit to God only. The root of a successful marriage is unconditional forgiveness which is a grace and mercy of our Lord. Your partner will ALWAYS fail and disappoint you... it is a cross one bears on the road to becoming Christ.
Bryan
1 year ago
Mary - I did not read that tone in the article at all - in fact, I read several times about "sacrificing for each other" and "love each other" - it sounds to me like you need to put aside your predisposed aversion to the idea of submission and try reading the article again - your knee jerk "feminist" response only serves to illustrate the writer's point
abey
1 year ago
A truthful article, a family is one that includes GOD, other wise it is not a family, In which submission comes according to the order. The wife to the man, the man to Christ & Jesus to The Father. Since GOD is Love, in the return comes His love to The Christ, from Christ to The Man & from The Man to The Woman & from the Woman to their Children. It is on this order that the Biblical emphasis on the wife's to submit to their husbands & husbands to love their wife's, for this love from the man to his wife is the return love from The Father, arising out of the submission in the respective orders. In the relationship between a man & his wife, this love is greater than sex. As in the case of Abraham & Sarah. Sarah gave her handmade to Abraham to bear him a child, for her love was greater than sex, at which feminists would scream because of their mistaken priorities, like mistaking abortions to liberty, tell that to Sarah, who was crowned by GOD as the "Mother of many nations" & incidentally her children are known as the children of the Fee Woman, to be heirs in Christ even to the spiritual. Love conquerors, which love is off GOD.
Mary
1 year ago
I agree that submission and humilty are important Christian precepts, but I get the feeling that this author has some very slanted ideas about which partner is going to be relegated to the role of child and which one is going to be coach. If submission was good enough for Christ, then why not the average human male as well as the female? Why is it that the passages that enable disparity of power, wealth, and ifluence endure, while so many others are considered within historical context? Let's put some distance between ourselves as Catholics and those who resist evolution, education, equality, and conservation. Why don't we leave the paranoia about the loss of absolute power to the televangelists?

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