It is Time for a Real Sexual �Counter-Revolution�

By Jennifer Hartline
9/16/2009
Catholic Online (www.catholic.org)

It's time for a sexual counter-revolution which liberates men and women, honors marriage and reaffirms the dignity of human love.

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CHESAPEAKE, Va. (Catholic Online) - With our government on the verge of passing health care legislation that, absent explicit language placed within it prohibiting Federal funds from being used for abortion, will mandate abortion coverage paid for by you and me, I figure now�s a good time for a radical discussion about sex. We�ll never change the way we view abortion until we change our attitudes about sex. It�s time for a sexual counter-revolution.

The sanctity of human life from the moment of conception throughout all of life up to and including a natural death is the only foundation our society will ever be able to stand upon if we hope to flourish as a truly free people. It�s quite obvious our foundation is crumbling. To repair it, we must go back to square one and correct our ideas about sex. Unless we give sexual intercourse its due reverence, we�ll never give human life its due reverence. The two can never be separated, as Pope Paul VI tried to tell the world in his prophetic encyclical, Humanae Vitae. If we don�t regard all life as sacred � and thus the creative act of sex�then we will always find ways to rationalize and justify the murder of a child as a �right.�

I�m not naively suggesting that prior to 1973 people were all living chaste and faithful lives and that sex was held in the highest esteem by all, to be expressed within the bond of marriage. I am saying that the decision to legalize the killing of our preborn children cemented a poisonous shift in our mentality, and that poison has corroded every aspect of our society, especially our treatment of sex. We replaced responsibility with �rights� and it�s been a downhill race toward insatiable debauchery ever since.

One criticism I hear often from people is that I and other Pro-Life folks ignore the real cause of abortions: unexpected/unwanted pregnancies. What needs to be addressed, they say, is the �tragedy of unexpected and unwanted pregnancies.� Do you see what I mean? Pregnancy is a �tragedy� � not a miracle of life. There�s that poisonous shift in our thinking. The creation of a new human being is a tragedy if we didn�t expect it or want it. The tragedy isn�t the new life; it�s our self-centered, warped perspective.

Okay then, let�s address it head-on. There is a solution to the problem of nearly all unwanted and unexpected pregnancies, but it�s the only one that nobody wants to talk about or consider seriously. The answer is so obvious, it just begs to be shouted out, but no one wants to do it because it�s the action that requires the most of us. As soon as I say it, I�ll be laughed at and called an idealistic nincompoop (or worse). I don�t care. It might not be politically correct, but it must be said!

We all know exactly how babies are made so if you are unwilling to lovingly accept a child into your life, then don�t have sex! Period.

Sex isn�t a right; it�s a profound gift that serves a profound purpose. It isn�t just a healthy, human activity; it�s also the ultimate expression of love and selflessness. It�s not a recreational pastime with no strings attached. Sex comes with some huge responsibilities, and if we�re not willing to accept ALL those responsibilities, we have no business having sex. It�s that simple.

The tragedy isn�t that women are unexpectedly pregnant; it�s that people are selfishly indulging in sex and then refusing to accept the natural outcome. Women do not simply �find themselves� pregnant, as though they had nothing to do with it. It isn�t magic that happens without their involvement. (In no way am I speaking here to women who are victims of violent assault. No woman chooses to be raped.)

Our real freedom and power lies in that very first choice: to have sex or not. Why are women only free and empowered if they have the �right� to kill their babies? Are we not capable of using our brains and connecting the dots? �If I choose to do this, here�s what will probably happen. It�s my life and my choice, so I�d better make the wise choice.� It seems to me that a woman who�s truly interested in preserving her choices will be smart and not put herself in a vulnerable position in the first place. I never said it was easy � only that it was simple. Our choices need to be made while we still have our clothes on.

Next comes the argument that not having sex is completely unrealistic and impossible, so we must have better birth control. Here again is the poisonous shift in our thinking. Birth control simply further engraves on our hearts the idea that pregnancy is a tragedy and babies are a burden to be avoided. When unexpected/unwanted pregnancy occurs, it isn�t because our birth control has failed, it�s because our sense of morality and responsibility has failed. The creation of new life should always be expected because that�s ...

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1 - 10 of 46 Comments

Marty
1 year ago
The real issue is not whether or not a woman should not have sex if she isnt able to be responsible for a baby....the issue is that society has grown so immoral that for many women marriage is not on the table for them once they do get pregnant out of wedlock. Men are using women to the max these days and if a woman does not put out she will never have a boyfriend let alone a husband. As long as other women are out there having sex with the young men, the women who truly wants a relationship is denied one even if she gets pregnant. Let's give these women a break here and start looking at society as a whole for the problem of abortion and make the entire society including the men responsible as well.
Turyatemba Alex
3 years ago
i have never read such an informative and well articulated article.someday i will give some of these views a wider readership.Every living soul needs this! Thanks Jennifer
Anonymous
3 years ago
I've never seen this explained quite so clearly or consicely as was done here. Thank you so much for putting such eloquent words to what many of us are thinking!!
KHanley
3 years ago
Wonderful article! I so rarely see the discussion of abortion linked to the contraceptive mentality. This issue really needs to be discussed and people need to hear about it. When I was married in the Church (as a non-Catholic at the time) I didn't see any discussion about contraception. So I took the lack of discussion to mean my husband and I could do whatever we wanted. In hindsight, I wish I had heard these voices talking about the issue of sex, and marriage and contraception etc. It would have been very helpful. And at this point in time, it is a very helpful discussion to engage people in because we will NEVER get rid of abortion (or homosexual "marriage" or legalized polygamy etc) if we don't get people to really understand the meaning of sex. Yes, there are challenges to NFP and abstinence (and other Church approved methods), but I'll take those challenges any day over the problems we had when we were using birth control! And most importantly, this new sexual counter-revolution gives clarity to how we will teach these topics to our own children (something we certainly never had growing up!)
Vance
3 years ago
Jennifer, you hit the nail on the head. I like Sue's "Home based working mother". This sexual counter-revolution must be waged from the pulpit. I am 64 and have never ever heard what you articulated from the pulpit. I've heard protestant televangelists articulating what you said. ABC, NBC, and CBS have sitcoms that glorify casual sex. MTV is probably the worse offender. Catholic schools and the Sunday pulpits are places that can address these issues to a large audience. I enjoy your articles.
Jean
3 years ago
Regarding "stay at home mom".

How about just plain wife, mother, partner and being a mother is fulltime work as well as worker in the work force.
Elizabeth
3 years ago
Thank you for writting this. It says what my parents always taught me and I hope to teach my children.
Sue Chapman
3 years ago
Some great words here, similar to sentiments I express when leading sessions on this topic with teenagers. Just a small thought- can we have another term for "stay at home" mum ? That was my parenting choice but not my choice of term to describe myself as it has such negative connotations. The question of "Do you work" is also odd ("no I just sit in the corner and stare at the walls all day"???!!!) so perhaps we could shock a few people by saying "home based working mother"?
Pam
3 years ago
Jennifer, Your article is excellent. At the same time, when you say that: "(In no way am I speaking here to women who are victims of violent assault. No woman chooses to be raped.)" I fear women who have been raped may think that the "in no way...." means that in the case of rape, it is okay to choose to have an abortion. The state made this an exception in the past when abortion was against the law, but the case of rape does not make abortion a moral "good" or "right." The woman has no "right" to take that innocent human life. No doubt the experience is incredibly traumatic for the mother, but adoption is the "good" and viable alternative, if she can't accept the child into her life.
Angela
3 years ago
AMEN! I am trying to teach the love of life with my daughters and I am praying other parents are doing the same. My husband and I study the Theology of the Body,(beautiful)but can not see it in the works around the world. we have to make it better for our children.

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