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Is There Grace in Being Refused Absolution?

Unquestionably, there is great grace in receiving absolution, but is there grace in being refused absolution by a priest in the Sacrament of Confession? The answer (I speak from experience) is yes.

During my confession, I told Fr. Bourgeois that I had been a Catholic, that I was currently attending the Episcopal Church, but that I wanted to confess my sins.  Fr. Bourgeois explained that he could not absolve me of my sins unless I agreed to return to Sunday Mass.  As a Catholic, I had an obligation to attend Sunday Mass, he explained, and this obligation was not satisfied by the Episcopal liturgy.  I told Fr. Bourgeois that I was not ready to agree to such an imposition.  So he very kindly but resolutely refused me absolution, and he gave me a blessing instead.


CORPUS CHRISTI, TX (Catholic Online) - "Receive the Holy Spirit," were the words of Jesus to his apostles, "If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained." (John 20:22-23)  The power to forgive sins is one of the most precious gifts Jesus left his Church.  It is dispensed in the Sacrament of Confession, also referred to as the Sacrament of Penance or the Sacrament of Reconciliation. 

The Sacrament of Confession is a great grace.  The grace of God's forgiveness received through the words and hand of a Catholic priest--who, when he acts as alter Christus and in persona Christi ("as another Christ" and "in the person of Christ') as he does in Confession is as close to the mercy of Jesus as you will ever get to this side of Heaven--is indescribable.  St. Thomas Aquinas says that the conversion of a soul is worth more than the entire universe.  The Sacrament of Confession participates in that supernatural gift of infinite value, God's mercy and sanctifying grace.

Priests are taught to be generous in meting out God's mercy through this great Sacrament of Reconciliation.  They are to err in giving absolution.  The salvation of souls is the supreme law.  But there are times where this great gift must be withheld, where absolution must be deferred or refused outright, and where it would be great error in dispensing it.

Unquestionably, there is great grace in receiving absolution, but is there grace in being refused absolution by a priest in the Sacrament of Confession?  The answer (I speak from experience) is yes.

The Sacrament of Penance is part of the priest's cura animarum, his care of souls.  The care of souls is a delicate art, an art both human and divine.  In exercising his care for souls, the confessor must travel between rigorism and laxism, between being too harsh and too indulgent.  St. Alphonsus Liguori the patron saint of confessors says in his Dignity and Duties of the Priest, that the priest must avoid these two extremes, and yet even in doing so he must know when to withhold absolution. 

A priest must withhold absolution when the penitent is not properly disposed, such as when the penitent does not express at least attrition or sorrow for his sins, or when he does not evidence desire to amend his life, or when he refuses to abide by the moral teachings or disciplines of the Church.

It must be difficult to withhold absolution, and it calls at times for the virtue of fortitude as well as wisdom and prudence on the part of a priest.  As St. Alphonsus reminds priests: "Great fortitude is necessary in correcting penitents and in refusing absolution to those who have not the requisite dispositions."

St. Alphonsus Liguori also says that a confessor must know not only when to withhold absolution, but how.  "Though the confessor should be obliged to defer absolution, he ought to dismiss the penitent with sweetness, fixing a day for him to return, and pointing out the remedies that he must practice in the mean time, in order to prepare himself for absolution.  Sinners are saved in this way."

All this is a preface to my experience many years ago in confessing to a priest at St. Mary's Cathedral in Austin, Texas.  It was my great fortune that the priest--now dead, requiescat in pace--was Fr. Henry Bourgeois, a member of the Congregation of the Holy Cross.

At that time in my pilgrimage of faith, I--an errant Catholic who was yet unaware that I was being drawn back to Holy Mother Church by the Holy Spirit--was a member of the St. David's Episcopal Church in Austin.  My brother--who had remained faithful to the Church--suggested one day that I go to confession.  I'm not sure why I agreed, but I agreed.

During my confession, I told Fr. Bourgeois that I had been a Catholic, that I was currently attending the Episcopal Church, but that I wanted to confess my sins.  Fr. Bourgeois explained that he could not absolve me of my sins unless I agreed to return to Sunday Mass.  As a Catholic, I had an obligation to attend Sunday Mass, he explained, and this obligation was not satisfied by the Episcopal liturgy.  I told Fr. Bourgeois that I was not ready to agree to such an imposition.  So he very kindly but resolutely refused me absolution, and he gave me a blessing instead.

At first I was offended, almost insulted by what I took to be the audacity of Fr. Bourgeois to deny me absolution, but that soon passed into a sort of confusion.  I could not criticize Fr. Bourgeois's behavior, as he had been unquestionably kind and gentle in his manner.  He had dismissed in the most sweet manner as St. Alphonsus advised.  Somehow--and I have not been able exactly to trace how--that refusal of absolution ...

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1 - 9 of 9 Comments

  1. Judy Claar
    9 months ago

    Another great article. Wonderful perspective. Blessings..

  2. LIzEst
    9 months ago

    “All is grace.” St. Thérèse of Lisieux

  3. Fritz
    9 months ago

    As an Anglican, I must say that this is a beautiful story, and I am pleased that you were reconciled with your church. One should not expect to attend one church and make use of the services of another. You follow either one or the other to the fullest. If you had wanted to remain an Anglican you could have approached an Anglo-catholic clergyman for confession, but it seems that your heart was with the church of your youth.

    God bless you.

  4. jh
    9 months ago

    An absolutely beautiful commentary. Thank you for sharing the poignancy and power of your experience, God working through his obedient priest.

  5. Catholic
    9 months ago

    God bless you, Andrew! Beautifully written and both inspired and inspiring!

  6. John Baysson
    9 months ago

    Very interesting article on something I have never quiet thought about or even considered. Great work!

  7. Diane
    9 months ago

    This is a beautiful article. Mr. Greenwell is very fortunate. Before I go to confession I always ask the Holy Spirit to assist the priest in telling me the truth clearly and without reservation. The truth sets us free.

  8. michael
    9 months ago

    Excellent article...the priest is not a vending machine handing out absolution. Rather he is a judge...hopefully a merciful one...but still a judge. Like a doctor he judges the condition of the soul and what the soul needs. He must also make sure that the Sacrament is valid. Recidvists who habitually sin yet take no means to overcome these repeated sins, bring about an invalid absolution in many cases. But I would suggest that this good author also check out the notion of delayed absolution which used to be practiced throughout the Latin Rite for those in a near occasion of sin that was not necessary. For example, to grant absolution to a person struggling with addiction...perhaps internet issues or alcohol issues...should be delayed absolution until they remove the near occasion of sin, i.e., put a filter on the computer, then receive absolution...pour the scotch down the drain they come back and receive absolution. The ease of absolution today in the modern Church has lead to ease in regards to sin. Delaying absolution causes people to change behaviors.

  9. Fr. James Farfaglia
    9 months ago

    St. Pius V is supposed to have said "Give us fit confessors, and surely the whole of Christianity will be reformed." How true, indeed. Thanks Andrew for another great article. Hopefully people are listening.

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