The Witness That Cannot Be Ignored: Loving the Least of These
Can there be a greater privilege for any of us than to walk the last mile of life with a brother or sister or neighbor and make sure they get Home safely?
Mom and Aunt Toni would be the first ones to set me straight if I tried to canonize them here, yet I insist that they are saints because they heard the voice of Jesus when He said, "Whatsoever you do to the least of these, you do unto Me." Their example burns like a roaring fire in the dead of winter, warming cold hearts and bringing timid souls crackling to life. Now they hold out the torch, daring me to pick it up and follow in their footsteps. It is a witness that cannot be ignored.
But God knew that He'd asked the right person. He knew that Judy had the compassion and the fortitude to go the distance. So before she really knew what she was doing, she'd offered a ride to a woman with cancer, and thus began a year-long arduous journey.
Doreen was in her mid-forties and fighting stage 4 breast cancer. She was in the thick of chemotherapy treatments and relied on public transportation to get around. The chemo was taking its toll on her, and she needed someone to take her home after the treatment. Judy volunteered to be that person for each treatment, for as long as Doreen needed.
Toni is Judy's sister, and they live right next door to each other. Judy and Toni are cut from the same beautiful cloth, and Toni soon found herself inextricably involved as well, and they became a tag-team caring for Doreen, someone most reasonable folks would say neither of them had any obligation toward.
Offering a ride is a helpful gesture, but with Doreen, it was far, far more complicated than that. Doreen also suffered from bi-polar disorder, borderline personality disorder, diabetes, and other chronic conditions. She was not always an easy person to be around. She would call them at home a dozen times a day. The instability of her mind and the highs and lows of her emotions soon began to eat up more and more of Judy and Toni's lives and took a heavy toll on them. They were learning the bitter reality of dealing with someone who is mentally ill.
It was increasingly clear that Doreen needed more than a ride to the hospital. Her own family had abandoned her, or worse, took advantage of what they could get out of her. In every meaningful way, she was alone in the world. She lived in a hidden, sub-stratum of our society. Those struggling with mental illness seem to live among us while remaining unseen. Theirs is a culture and a community separate from ours, though right in our midst.
In Doreen's world the blind lead the blind. The sick tend to the sick. They know each other, get familiar with each other's lives and habits, sometimes try to look out for each other, but often mistreat each other because they are unable to do otherwise. In their psychopathy, they can destroy relationships, businesses, homes, and finances. They can leave a devastating ruin in their wake. Families break under the strain and dysfunction.
Judy and Toni understood none of this before encountering Doreen. They'd never been personally touched by the suffocating demands of mental illness and the pain it brings. Now they were caught up in it, like it or not, and it was either go forward with Doreen or walk away and never look back.
They actually chose another option. They chose Love. They chose self-sacrifice, generosity, and charity in action. Along the way, they began helping Doreen with many things like her laundry, balancing her checkbook and paying her bills, getting her prescriptions, and accompanying her to every doctor appointment.
In the process, they discovered that Doreen was Catholic, but hadn't been to Mass in years. They began talking to her about her faith and the Church, and Doreen realized that she was hungry for spiritual food again. They arranged to take her to see their priest, and soon she'd received the sacrament of Penance again, and Judy and Toni were there with her when she received the Bread of Life again for the first time in years. She was restored to her faith and had found such contentment and joy. Every Sunday thereafter, Toni drove Doreen to and from Mass.
They poured themselves out for this woman who needed so much. There were many days it would have been easier to say, "She's not my responsibility!" and walk away, yet they continually chose love and I've had a front row seat for the past year.
Judy is my mother, and Toni is my aunt. They would be the first ones to set me straight if I tried to canonize them here, yet I insist that they are saints because they heard the voice of Jesus when He said, "Whatsoever you do to the least of these, you do unto Me."
Doreen was surely one of the least of these. Out of love for Christ, my mother and my aunt cared for her and opened their lives to her. They went out of their way to love her, which is what real love does. There was nothing convenient about taking care of Doreen. In fact, they often had to suspend or cancel ...
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Jennifer: Thank you for sharing such a soul inspiring story! Truly the Holy Spirit was w/you. Prayerful Blessings...
Inspiring!! I was very moved and will be sharing this article with my Religious Education class ( 8th graders) this weekend---Truly, Judy and Toni are living their Faith--actively rather than passively. How wonderful for Doreen that God sent these helpers to her. Thank you for sharing this with us, Jennifer. Andrea
What an inspiring article! Having an adult child that has mental problems, I know how exhausting it can be. Mental illness truly affects the whole family and those in that person's life. Sadly, there are many in society with mental problems and they are struggling along. How many days did I focus on the toll it was taking on my own life instead of seeing the toll it was taking on my poor son? Too many. It is easier to walk away from problems than to commit oneself to them daily. I wish there were more articles such as yours. The news always focuses on negatives and after reading the headlines each day, all I walk away with is a bad feeling the world is doomed with no way to fix it. This article focused on a negative turned positive. It showed us reality and truth. Life is hard, things are not the way we wish them to be, but your story shows that even so, we can do something positive. We need to help one another and do whatever it is we can. What is one soul worth? It is worth all we can give. Your mom and aunt are certainly following God's call!
Jennifer, this is a powerful witness. Thanks for letting us know of the witness of your mother and aunt. Thanks for letting us know of Doreen's pain-filled poem which shows some glimmer of hope in her suffering. Hope was certainly the gift of your two sainted witnesses
to her. Doreen's gift among others was to evoke the love of Christ from two ordinary and faithful gals who did something very beautiful for God.
Extremely beautiful and touching story. Your mom and your aunt truly are saints. This story has witnessed to me and shown me how I can be a better person. May God bless them and you abundantly. Thank you for telling this story.
Too often man talks of the second commandment omitting or violating to not in conjunction with the first commandment of Christ off GOD, in which case words like "Do unto the least" is not to the fulfillment, 'cause it is about Him & not us, referring to the words of Jesus Christ with regard to the "Blindness" of the Blind man, which by the healing the Glory of GOD may become manifest. A simple example to thIs is in the O.T as to the reason why Moses was not allowed to lead Israel into the new land.
The most beautiful thing you have ever written, Jennie....gosh darn it, why do you write stuff that makes me cry? I think about these issues a lot these days...
Jennifer,
This is such a beautiful, life changing story. Thank you for sharing it and being brave enough to air your own uncertainties! I work with the mentally ill and I want to share your story with as many people I can. Thank you! Carolee Gifford