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Nurse reveals the top five regrets people have on their death beds

Living life true to self, and not others was the top regret

When one is faced with imminent death, there are always the expected regrets as to how one has lived life. Nurse Bronnie Ware, who has worked many years in palliative care, has composed a list of the five largest regrets that people have on their death beds. "Some incredibly special times were shared," Ware says. "I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives."

Nurse Ware also wishes to stress that no matter what the regrets the dying may have on their death beds, every single last one of them made peace with themselves before their passing.

Nurse Ware also wishes to stress that no matter what the regrets the dying may have on their death beds, every single last one of them made peace with themselves before their passing.

LOS ANGELES, CA (Catholic Online) - "People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth," Ware says. "Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance."

The top regret most people have on their death bed was -

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made," Ware says.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship . All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result," Ware warns.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.


"Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

Perhaps most importantly --

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

Ware also wishes to stress that no matter what the regrets the dying may have on their death beds, every single last one of them made peace with themselves before their passing.

© 2012, Catholic Online. Distributed by NEWS CONSORTIUM.

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Pope Benedict XVI's Prayer Intentions for January 2013
General Intention:
The Faith of Christians. That in this Year of Faith Christians may deepen their knowledge of the mystery of Christ and witness joyfully to the gift of faith in him.
Missionary Intention: Middle Eastern Christians. That the Christian communities of the Middle East, often discriminated against, may receive from the Holy Spirit the strength of fidelity and perseverance.

Keywords: Death and dying, regrets, friendships, happiness

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1 - 2 of 2 Comments

  1. Mary whitmer
    1 year ago

    I will be 69 yrs. old this year. I have been married 3 times, raised my three children almost single-handedly, and needless to say, my life has been somewhat challenging.
    Life, and circumstances drove me to drink away my fears, and my tears, and in the process I became an alcoholic. Proudly today, I have been sober almost 25 years, and my journey has led me down many paths. I have been priveleged and blessed to have nteraccted with people of all races, personalities, dispositions, etc. Sitting in the rooms of alcoholic anonymous for these many years has truly taught me "to accept the things i cannot change, change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference". I do not dwell on the negative of my past life, nor do I have "great expectations" of today, I live one day at a time. I Love My Lord and Savior with all my heart, and it is because of His leading that I am alive today, and able to tell this story. There were times when i doubted His leading, but it always was for the best outcome possible.

    i have truly learned "herein to be content". When I leave this world I will not take the baggage of the past with me, it is not necessary. I have lived my life the best I knew how, and God alone knows it. I have no regrets anymore, and I truly find the good in every day.
    I also see that as I grow older there are many more people I know that are dying, and this
    too is a reminder to live each day to the fullest, help someone along the way each day, give a smile to someone that may desperately need it, and LOVE, just LOVE.

    God Bless All of you, I love this site,
    MW

  2. abey
    1 year ago

    Where wishes are to Men & Fairy tales, Will is to GOD. For the one who lives in "That Will" has not any wishes.

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