Only love can heal the lonely, broken spirit

By Mary Regina Morrell

"Loneliness breaks the spirit." ~ Jewish Proverb

Late in the evening, a few days ago, when everyone else in the house was in bed and I was at my usual spot in front of the computer writing, I heard the most beautiful sounds of a lone bird singing into the night.

I have heard the birds of dusk sing before but this was different. Now, the dark of night was deep and the song of this bird was full throated, enchanting, with a passionate beauty that brought tears to my eyes. His repertoire was surrendered into the night with abandon as if trying mightily to evoke a response from another of his kind. On and on he sang for hours.

His voice was made more beautiful in the surrounding silence, and more haunting as well. I know that song -- because I, like so many others, am no stranger to loneliness. Often it has seemed I, too, am singing into the deep, impenetrable darkness of night waiting for a response that never comes.

People are often surprised to hear that, even with a large family, tons of acquaintances and a good number of friends, loneliness and an often subsequent depression have been unwelcome companions.

I should not be surprised I guess. I have been told by those who should know that creative people - writers, artists, poets, mystics - find such loneliness a common experience.

Creative souls live in the depths of their being. They seem to have a need to express what is deepest in themselves as well as a need to share that depth with another who understands. It seems the creative soul is the different soul, the mockingbird singing into the night - alone.

"Eva" was such a person, a young girl of just 18, suffering from a depression that was undiagnosed and a loneliness that became unbearable. A few weeks ago she took her life and now the world is missing another beautiful spirit. A void now exists where God's created life once held the gift of unlimited potential - to create, to love, to change the world.

Shortly before she died, Eva posted some of her poetry on the Internet. She wrote in veiled language of the depression that ravaged her soul. Her words could have been simply the melancholy thoughts of any number of young people. But the last line of one poem spoke clearly of her deepest wound.

She wrote, "You never said, 'I love you.' "

How my heart broke when I read those words, thinking of the depth of the pain that drove her to such a decision, and, now the pain of her family in trying to deal with it all.

There is no doubt that Eva was loved dearly by her family and friends, but an illness like depression isolates a person behind a wall of despair where even love has difficulty penetrating. But we must try. We must follow Jesus' example of paying attention, for attention is the greater part of love. It is only in paying attention that we discover the wound. Through attention we find ways of bringing the wounded to God.

Just as the four men brought their paralyzed friend through the roof to obtain for him the healing they knew Christ could give, we, too, must bring our children, our loved ones, all those who need our help, to the God who heals.

It is sad to think that Eva died believing herself unloved, but surely all that changed the moment she found herself in the loving embrace of Jesus.

Today she is the mockingbird of heaven, singing her beautiful song to the angels. Our loss is heaven's gain.

This column is dedicated with love to "Eva" and her family and to all those who have lost children or loved ones to suicide. Depression is a serious and life threatening illness that has a physical basis. Any suspicion of depression in a teen or adult should be addressed immediately with a physician who can make referrals for treatment. There are also many Internet sites that offer symptom education and support materials.

Contact

Diocese of Metuche
http://www.diometuchen.org NJ, US
Mary Regina Morrell - Associate Director, Office of Religious Education, 732 562.1990

Email

mmorrell@diometuchen.org

Keywords

suicide, depression, loneliness, God, love

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