Grief and gratitude are part of the same journey

By Mary Regina Morrell
Catholic Online

"See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come..." Song of Songs 2:11,12

There was a time, when my parents were alive, that November marked a happy journey for my family - a trip back home to Albany for Thanksgiving with my mom and dad.

From the moment we began getting ready, even trying to stuff six boys into the back of a station wagon, it was a journey of gratitude - for the old jalopy that got us there, for the laughter and silliness of the children who left candy wrappers and crayons all over the back seat, for the beautiful drive and wonder of the Catskills, for the love and presence of our family, for the friends and the food and the house that held us all, and another profound moment to remember the generous Gift-giver who gave it all out of love. It was a long journey, but even with a car full of cranky, sticky children there is not one moment I would not relive if I had the opportunity.

When illness and death changed the picture, I struggled to keep sight of the blessings. Grief has a way of overwhelming us and altering our perspective from one of gratitude to one of anger fueled by pain. Until we have journeyed through the pain by grieving fully, needing the support of family, friends and, often, professionals, then the blessings will be blanketed for a time. We will never be the same after losing those we love. But if we cling to God, there will come a time when we begin to uncover our blessings once again.

I remember a point in my grieving when, driving home after presenting a workshop on gratitude, I noticed a man walking his dog. He was bent over at the waist, his upper torso almost parallel to the ground. He could stand no straighter.

I watched him walk in this way for several blocks as my car inched through the traffic and suddenly I felt humbled by the gifts that were still mine. I prayed for God's blessing for that man and asked God to bless me as well - with the consolation that would allow me to remember the blessings.

Remembering the blessings does not take away the pain or fill the void left by so great a loss, but it honors the memories of those who gave us life or who have brought life into our existence simply by their presence. For those who are grieving, this will not happen tomorrow. But it will happen.

So now, for me, though our Thanksgiving journeys are no longer planned and loved ones are gone or separated from us, the journey of gratitude is still undertaken for the endless blessings that remain, and even for the struggles, to remind us that apart from the Kingdom of God, nothing can be perfect or without pain.

Such is the journey of faith - built on an awareness of God and God's blessings, filled with memories and traditions, love and hope and trust that the God who loves us this much will make the most important journey a feast to remember.

Contact

Diocese of Metuchen
http://www.diometuchen.org NJ, US
Mary Regina Morrell - Associate Director, Office of Religious Educationp, 732 562.1990

Email

mmorrell@diometuchen.org

Keywords

grief, gratitude, journey,blessings

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