God's love alone can heal broken hearts

Things My Father Taught Me
By Mary Regina Morrell

God's love alone can heal the broken heart

"My beautiful one is dead and nothing is left to commemorate her except my broken heart and a tomb surrounded by cypress trees." Kahlil Gibran

Any one who has deeply grieved the death of a loved one knows that such grief often seems to invade the spirit and take root in the soul. And sometimes it is our soul that has to rouse us from our painful stupor.

For me, the awakening came in a dream: Deep in the cemetery where my parents were buried a soft light shone on the headstone I had taken such care to design. Etched in the face of the rose granite, above their names, was a pair of doves face to face on a flowering vine. On my mother's side was carved an Orthodox cross, on my father's a Celtic cross, both flanked by graceful irises - my father's favorite flower.

Across the bottom were carved a few carefully chosen words, lyrics from my mother's favorite musical, Brigadoon: 'Here forever lies my heart. You loving daughter, Mary" I awoke from my dream sweating and crying. There was no doubting the meaning of what I had seen. I had truly buried my heart in the grave with my parents and carved that reality in stone, never to be erased. A few days later, the image of those words and the prospect of endless grieving were weighing heavily on my mind as I drove to a little house near the shore where I would have a much needed respite for my health. Alone in the car, the drive was making me weary.

"Some music will help," I thought as I leaned over the seat next to me to retrieve the Celtic CD that had fallen on the floor. During the next few weeks that music would help with my healing. The words of one song in particular brought me to tears, not solely of sadness but gratefulness for the presence and love of God: "I can see your heart is tired and your courage has worn thin. You wonder how long you will have to hang on. But when my love comes in you'll be strong again."

Because the body, not just the mind, responds strongly to intense emotions, the strain and exhaustion of grief and loss had taken a terrible toll on me physically as well as mentally. In truth, my heart was very tired, and actually not working as it should. The courage and strength that had always been mine as a mother raising a brood of sons had continued to wane and made me feel terribly, humbly, dependent on others.

There came a time when I had to admit I could do no more without turning everything over to God. But I was comforted by a quote someone had sent me: "God can heal a broken heart if we give Him all the pieces."

So, for this brief time, I would leave everything behind -- job, family, friends -- and spend time with God, doing absolutely nothing except collecting the wounded pieces of my heart and turning them over to God's care.

For the first few days I never left the house. I slept, I cried, I sat in a chair and stared into space. I prayed a lot, I read a little, I slept some more. And when I felt completely drained and empty and beyond exhaustion a wondrous thing began to happen.

God began to fill up the emptiness with love that was almost palpable and it was as if I could actually feel my heart beginning to heal. My strength began to return and what started as a painful time of loneliness became a time of walking in the garden with God.

The ocean, the sea-birds, the sunrise and sunset, were all wondrous to me, and peace washed over my heart like the waves which rolled over my feet.

God created my heart anew with love - and it was good.

________________________________________

Mary Morrell is the author of "Angels n High Top Sneakers" from Loyola Press and a syndicated columnist whose column appears in The Catholic Spirit and The Monitor, both in New Jersey, and the South Texas Catholic.

Contact

Diocese of Metuchen
http://wwwdiometuchen.org NJ, US
Mary Regina Morrell - Associate Director, Office of Religious Education, 732 562-1990

Email

mmorrell@diometuchen.org

Keywords

God

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