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It's a long ride hom when pride is in the driver's seat
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By Mary Morrell
Catholic Online
"Rather he emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, coming in human likeness, and found human in appearance, he humbled himself, becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross." Philippians 2: 7-8
Many years ago, when I was an emotionally sensitive teenager, I learned just one more lesson the hard way.
My friends and I were traveling to Canada as part of a summer camp experience. Once there we were assigned cabins in which to change our clothes and spend the night.
A group of us, including the young man I was dating, decided to get together late one evening and hang out in one of the cabins. Sadly for me, the young man began devoting his attention to another girl who was with us, and so, to express my hurt and regain his attention, I left the cabin and sat outside along the cabin wall. I was certain that when he noticed I was gone he would come looking for me.
Well, the even sadder truth is that nobody came looking for me, and so I sat, and I sat, and I sat, as the night got darker and colder. I had no blanket, just a simple jacket to wrap around my shoulders. But I wouldn't give in to common sense. My pride, and my need for his attention, got the best of me and I sat there cold and alone until the sun came up. No one ever asked me where I had spent the night or why I was upset. I had to admit to myself that they really had never even noticed I was gone.
That truth hurt even more and was deeply humiliating.
I drove home on the bus as cold and alone as I was that night, filled with self-pity and self-loathing. And if you've ever driven to Canada you know how long I had to put up with my sorry self!
That trip ended up being the worst I had ever taken, but within it was one of the most important lessons I have ever learned - the insidious power of pride to corrupt our lives and relationships and the diminishment of our worth that comes from self-pity.
That is not to say that, from that point on, I never faltered by being prideful or by indulging in self-pity.
The trip taught me a lesson, it didn't work miracles!
But when I do falter it is easier to acknowledge my part in the problem and to accept the consequences that come with the fall. In addition, that lesson has allowed me to continue to grow in my efforts to die to those things that sometimes fill my heart in the place where Christ alone belongs.
A help on this journey has always been Psalm 139 with the beautiful words, "For I am fearfully, wonderfully, made." In that one sentence my pride is struck down with the reminder that I am the creature not the creator, while my self-pity is erased knowing that I am also wonderful because God created me; the God who became man for me, who lived for me, died for me, and gave me the eternal hope of Resurrection.
Easter is a perfect time to offer praise in gratitude for the lesson.
Contact
Diocese of Metuchen
http://www.diometuchen.org
NJ, US
Mary Morrell - Associate Director, Office of Religious Education, 732 5621990
mmorrell@diometuchen.org
Keywords
pride, Psalm 139, self-pity
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