The Storm

By Cheryl Dickow

Dearest Parent,

Raising Christian children in a secular world is a tough task. Your work is made even more difficult because of the many and contrary outside messages that your child receives. You try to teach kindness, generosity, and gratitude while the world teaches chicanery, self-gratification, and greed.

Through it all you become inundated with mixed messages as well. Popular television hosts and self-help books become your source of guidance and wisdom. You are running in a multitude of directions and wearing as many hats as there are stars in the sky. In the end no one seems to be winning, neither you nor your child.

These excerpts, from "Raising Christian Children in a Secular World," contain nothing new because, in God, there is nothing new. His Word remains the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Instead, they are a gentle reminder that your children are a gift from God and what you do with them is your gift back to God.

I simply want to encourage you to turn to God as your only true source for parental guidance and answers. Now is the time to find all the answers you have been looking for in His word and in His son. With God this journey we call "parenting" will be rewarding, joyful, and insightful.

In Christ,
Cheryl Dickow

The Storm

He got into a boat and his disciples followed him. Suddenly a violent storm came up on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by waves; but he was asleep. They came and woke him, saying, Lord, save us! We are perishing!" He said to them, "Why are you terrified, O you of little faith?" Then he got up, rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was great calm. Matthew 8:23-26

In their distress they cried to the Lord, who brought them out of their peril, hushed the storm to a murmur; the waves of the sea were stilled. They rejoiced that the sea grew calm. That God brought them to the harbor they longed for. Let them thank the Lord for such kindness, such wondrous deeds for mere mortals. Psalm 107:28-31

I urge you now to keep up your courage; not one of you will be lost, only the ship. Acts 27:22

Parenting is not for the faint hearted. Of course, by the time we parents recognize this, we are already in the thick of it: enmeshed in battles, surrounded by self-help books, and fearing for our very sanity. When our children are preschoolers we try to teach them to be independent minded, free thinking individuals. Then, before our very eyes, they become exactly what we have encouraged them to be! Much to our chagrin they push against our values and challenge our very authority. The cute independence of their preschool years becomes the bane of our existence during the middle and high school years. They develop their own ideas that are in stark contrast to the rules we so naively set up while they were still quietly ensconced in the womb.

School truly becomes a time of transition and change. As the years progress we see that our family values seem to clash with societal values. Friendships often become more important than family. Scripturally speaking, these years seem to be the storm before the calm. A time when your child is testing the waters, testing your patience, and testing your stamina. In an amazing turn of events, your once close relationship with your child may become difficult and frustrating. You begin to question your confidence in his or her ability to make decisions. Your marriage and your family life may feel the effect as you grapple with tumultuous emotions (yours and your child's) while trying to maintain sanity and decorum in your household. These turbulent pre-adolescent and adolescent years often arrive with little warning. A storm in every sense of the word: unexpected and intense. The kind of storm you want to take shelter from and watch from a safe place while it passes. However, anyone who has been through this will tell you that it seldom passes without the need to set up sandbags and batten down the hatches!

Interestingly, these times seem to be typical in the journey of life. Most importantly, they can be understood in the scripture story of Jesus helping the disciples weather a violent storm. At first dismayed by the violence of the storm, the disciples are quickly put at ease by Jesus' command of the situation. And, as we may well know, once Jesus brings his disciples past this event, they are filled with harmony and well being and are ready for the next step of their journey with Him. Consider these school years as one of your life's storms, indeed one of your child's life's storms; a storm to weather. A storm in which your child will become better equipped for the next step in life. Jesus provided us with the beautiful and appropriate example of compassionate authority. Our role as parents is to model ourselves, the best we can, after His example. As parents we want to raise our children with that same compassionate authority. Compassion allows us to see, know, and feel the circumstances of our child's life. Authority allows us to let our head rule over our heart to make the right decisions for our child. Compassion should be balanced with authority for both to be effective and valuable.

Fortunately, to take command of the situation is as simple as turning to scripture as your guide and authority on all things. God has given us all the answers we need for this and all the storms of life. God gave us His Word. We have often heard the phrase, "What Would Jesus Do?" Learning the Word of God will always give us a correct answer to that question, regardless of the situation. All we need to do is live the Word of God; a simple desire, a daunting task.

The Word

Whoever clings to me I will deliver; whoever knows my name I will set on high. All who call upon me I will answer, I will be with them in distress; I will deliver them and give them honor. With length of days I will satisfy them and show them my saving power. Psalm 91:14-16

Your word, Lord, stands forever; it is firm as the heavens. Through all generations your truth endures; fixed to stand firm like the earth. By your edicts they stand firm to this day, for all things are your servants. Had your teaching not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction. I will never forget your precepts; through them you give me life. I am yours; save me, for I cherish your precepts. The wicked hope to destroy me, but I pay heed to your decrees. I have seen the limits of all perfection, but your command is without bounds. Psalm 119:89-96

Happy those who do not follow the counsel of the wicked, Nor go the way of sinners, nor sit in company with scoffers. Rather, the law of the Lord is their joy; God's law they study day and night. Psalm 1:1-3

How can the young walk without fault? Only by keeping your words. Psalm 119:9

When I was in high school in the mid 1970's there was a popular saying, "God is my co-pilot." I guess it was a way to reestablish God in the lives of many people who had turned away in the untamed 60's. And although the saying was cute I never gave it much thought. Truth be told, I never gave God much thought either. I was raised in a non-practicing Christian household. Holidays were more secular than religious. Easter was simply a time for tight curls, beautiful bonnets, and shiny white shoes. I knew very little of my savior. Instead I gingerly looked forward to the Easter goodies that were to be found at my grandmother's house. The Passion, Death, and Resurrection were but a dim backdrop for coloring eggs and visiting the Easter bunny at the mall.

The identity of the co-pilot was of little importance. Now, some 30 years later, there is an amended saying to that original one. It says, "If God is your co-pilot, you are in the wrong seat!" I love this version. Of course, I'm also in a different place in my life; a place that has brought me, on my hands and knees, to God. I am a parent. And this saying shows a clear understanding of life as a parent. It lets us know that God is the only one that can be in charge. He is the pilot. He is the ultimate parent. We are the co-pilots. The foster parents, so to speak. We play a critical role. We have an important job, vital to the flight, but secondary to the pilot. We take our instructions from Him and constantly defer to His wisdom, guidance, and decisions. He's weathered many storms and doesn't lose sight of His goal regardless of the conditions. Keeping this in mind will give us a renewed understanding of our children. For me, this means that I now have a deeper sense that my children really belong to God. And, like Joseph, I truly am the foster parent. It is no small sign of confidence that God somehow looked into my heart and deemed me fit to raise three boys for Him. Now I understand that my accounting will be how I raised these boys for Him. And there couldn't be a more rewarding or more challenging role to take on.

Let's face it, raising children isn't always an easy or turbulent-free ride. I have had to reevaluate friendships with mothers who refused to acknowledge the difficulties of raising children. Perhaps that was their coping mechanism, but I found it difficult to be with them. And for years I allowed myself to feel inferior to these mothers. I wondered what I was doing wrong and they were doing right. However, given enough observation time, I now know that all parents have a tough row to hoe. There might be different problems, but there are problems indeed. How many times have parents joked, "Kids don't come with an instruction book!"? We all chuckle and then nod our heads in solemn agreement, "Ah, yes, instructions. They sure would be great." And so it goes, that unspoken truth that we need help. Some more than others, but all of us, in some way, are trying to find our way as parents.

But if we go back to that understanding of our role as foster parents it behooves us to make the next logical assumption. That assumption would be that God did give us an "instruction book." Does it make any sense that God would give us His most precious gift, His children, and not leave us with instructions? Of course it makes no sense. God is the God of reason, order, and well-being. And so, of course He left instructions: powerful, authoritative instructions. Unfortunately, we are looking to be empowered in all the wrong places. We are looking to "tell-it-like-it-is" radio and television personalities and "take-no-prisoners" judges and talk-show hosts for guidance and authority. But the ultimate power has already been granted to us as parents. And it has been granted by the ultimate Father, our Father, Lord and Savior of the world. So now it's time to turn to His instructions and raise His children according to His word, pleasing to Him. Then, and only then, can our children truly be all that God intended. This is when their lives will be blessed and overflowing with graces; when we raise them according to the Word of the Lord.

But how often do we tap into this boundless resource? How often do we remember that God's Word is the first place to turn to for answers and guidance? Like so many other areas of our lives, we tend to look for instructions as a last resort. Based upon our life's experiences, we only need to consider how much easier the journey would be with directions. We attempt to get the DVD player hooked up and working by trial and error. We figure we can put the bookcase together without the illustrated instruction page. Whatever it is, we tend to try to do it on our own first. Then, when we have a big mess on our hands, we open up the instructions.

Our children are too big of a "project" to leave to trial and error. In learning scripture we will find great lessons on raising children. Scripture teaches the key lessons that will help make our children successful in life: diligence, joy, perseverance, humility, prayer, character, honesty, and responsibility to name just a few. Regardless of the stage we are at in raising our children, we will find that it is never too early, or ever too late, to open up the instruction book. Turn to God's word. Learn God's word. Find all our answers in God's word. God's Word, which is always available to us, is just what we need. Day or night, let us tap into His endless love, blessings, and guidance for our family.

The belief behind this book (and the excerpts that I am sharing with you) is that the main goal of a parent is to raise children to and for God. Raising our children to God necessitates turning to His Word. Raising our children for God necessitates turning to His Word as well. The amazing thing (well, one of them) about God's Word is the peace and well-being that is found within. Peace and well-being that is intended to be a part of our everyday life. We shouldn't let another day go by without using the Word of God as the guiding force in raising our family.

Contact

AskKnockSeek.com
http://www.AskKnockSeek.com MI, US
Cheryl Dickow - author, 248 917.3865

Email

cheryl@askknockseek.com

Keywords

parenting

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