Now is the time to love the dying
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By Mary Regina Morrell
"I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? " Mother Teresa
It is never painless to spend time with the dying. It is harder still when that person is young, perhaps a young mother with children, and the grief you know the family is experiencing rests close to your own heart.
Those of us who volunteer for Hospice, and no doubt, all the rest who work in any capacity with the dying, have all had to answer the same question - "How can you do it?" Certainly, it is not always easy, and most of the time the answer is beyond the power of words to explain; it simply has to be experienced. But recently I came across a quote that was full of meaning for those of us who serve the dying: "The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death."
The words seem to echo the reality of a room filled with mementos, photos of family and precious times together, mobiles of hearts and angels hanging from a ceiling in view of a dying loved one, radios tuned to a favorite station, flowers arranged with care on a dresser that holds the bare essentials of a life once filled with activity.
It's love. It's all love.
Hospice volunteers learn early on that they are there to dispel what Mother Teresa called a "poverty of intimacy" which, she said, plagues contemporary Western civilization. We hear her words in all we do: "Speak tenderly to them. Let there be kindness in your face, in your eyes, in your smile, in the warmth of your greeting. Always have a cheerful smile. Don't only give your care, but give your heart as well."
Within the mystery of death, love stands guard and waits, filling the moments that "are" with itself so that the moments to come will never be empty, never devoid of someone so loved. The people of Hospice are blessed to be a part of that love, walking the journey with family and the dying themselves, and for those who have no family Hospice volunteers make sure that their final days are filled with the touch and attention that we all spend our lives seeking. As a dear friend explained to me of his experience as a Hospice volunteer, "It changes lives. Ours."
He shared the moment of that realization as he watched the eyes of a young wife and dying husband as they looked at each other, sharing all the love they could in a gaze. In that instant he realized the importance of the moments that "are," the "now" of our lives. We, like him, have learned that every moment is endowed with opportunities to love and this moment is all we have.
And death has been our teacher.
_____________________________________
This column is dedicated with love and admiration to my fellow volunteers at Haven Hospice, JFK Hospital, Edison, NJ, and to all the patients we have accompanied on their journey to new life.
Mary Morrell is the author of Angels in High Top Sneakers from Loyola Press; and three reflection journals published by the Metuchen Office of Religious Education: Through the Strength of Heaven; Beneath the Wings of Love, The Mysteries of Light -- A Guide for Praying the Rosary.
Contact
Diocese of Metuchen
http://www.diometuchen.org
NJ, US
Mary Regina Morrell - Associate Director Office of Religious Education, 732 562-1990
mmorell@diometuchen.org
Keywords
dying
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