Waiting is easier when we do it with God

y Mary Regina Morrell

"I would have despaired unless I believed I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; Be strong, let your heart take courage. Yes, wait for the Lord. " Psalm 27:15-16"

Well, this is one newsletter that almost didn't make it to printing. Despite seemingly endless nights of sitting in front of the computer waiting for inspiration to strike, there was nothing. I couldn't write -- not a thought, not a word. For the first time in more than three years I had to face the fact that I just couldn't get it together. Of course, I was swamped with work and personal preoccupations, but that was nothing new. Maybe, I thought, I was finally losing my ability to write. It upset me.

Then as the Valentine's Day clock turned past midnight and the anniversary of my father's death rolled around, those frustrated feelings turned to tears. I sat, lonely and empty, in a darkened room with a single lit candle and talked to him - well, cried was more like it. He seemed to smile as he always did and say the same thing he had always said to me: "Write what you know."

"What I know?" I thought, wryly. Lately, the only thing I seem to know about is waiting - for inspiration to write, for understanding as to what God wants from me, for insight of some kind into what is happening in my life.

But as I began to reflect on it, many times of waiting came to mind, most especially the painful time of waiting for my father to die. After his unexpected collapse from heart disease, it had been inevitable; his death a certainty, and those nine days of waiting had been the longest and most painful of my life.

Reliving that time brought waves of tears and emotions that had only been submerged for a time, but never erased. And there was good reason for that. Memories can be the fertile ground of growth when experienced in the light of God's grace.

Soon I was recalling all those times I had waited, like so many others have, for someone to listen to me; someone to love me; someone, usually God, to answer my prayers, and sometimes, still, in the waiting it seems we have been forgotten by God. In those painful times it is easy to abide by the words of poet and philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson: "How much of human life is lost in waiting."

But Scripture teaches us that waiting is a form of surrender, something that is pleasing to God and good for the soul: "They that wait upon the Lord renew their strength." Isaiah 40:31

Waiting in the Lord is an expression of courage and a time of hope, both of which are often in short stead in the human heart and a culture that, out of fear and impatience, waits for nothing and relies on its own counsel rather than that of God.

I had read similar sentiments, written more eloquently, while searching the Internet recently. One in particular by Dee Dee Risher stands out: "In our cultural context, to wait expectantly is spiritual audacity. It is the Gospel foolishness that opens our eyes so that we can be surprised by the vibrant, mysterious ground of hope surrounding us. Even in the midst of great suffering, we begin to uncover unexpected compassion and abundant joy. The reign of God begins to be unveiled in our midst. Even now." (The Other Side Online)

I can only pray that God will afflict me with such spiritual audacity as I need to keep my eyes and heart open to hope.

_____________________________

Mary Morrell is the author of Angels in High Top Sneakers, and a reflection guide to using The Mysteries of Light, available through the Dicoese of Metuchen Office of Religious Education.

Contact

Diocese of Metuchen
http://www.diometuchen.org NJ, US
Mary Regina Morrell - Associate Director, Office of Religious Education, 732 562-1990

Email

mmorrell@diometuchen.org

Keywords

Waiting

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