A Christmas Message to Mothers Everywhere

TO MOTHERS EVERYWHERE

To mothers everywhere: I know. Once upon a time, I believed. Yes, that someone somewhere would love me. That I would belong to him and he, to me and we'd live happily ever after. Yeah, like in the movies. Old movies. The ones with happy endings.

My mother's life wasn't like the movies. I thought it was her fault somehow. That she had left home too young just to get out of the house. That she had a head full of Hollywood romance. That she couldn't see past my father's dark eyes and wavy black hair. And the uniform. And his charming ways. Oh my. She didn't know what an alcoholic was. No idea that she married one.

I was going to be different. I was smarter than she. I wouldn't fall into the same traps. I didn't know that being smart has nothing to do with falling in love. No, and I never questioned why we humans say "falling" and not "rising" in love, either.

I didn't know that passion and good old-fashioned lust are not the same as love. I just thought that on an "I Like" scale of 1-1O, love must start at number 11. Yeah, as in "I like cheese pizza; but, I love pepperoni!"

But then I had children. Like you do. And they taught me that love is giving. Unconditionally. No matter what. Like yours are teaching you.

When I was young, I didn't understand that the mating instinct, nature's hormones, the dreams and fantasies we humans have aren't just silly obstacles to be overcome but are, in fact, life giving. Think about it. Who in their right mind would go through nine months of pregnancy and childbirth and 2:00 AM feedings and diapers and babysitters and re-centering their whole lives around babies and bills, bills, bills just to reproduce a hybrid copy of their selves and their mates knowing that 50 per cent of our marriages end up in divorce and custody and child support fights?

How many more relationships produce children prematurely - before a legal marriage or before the marriage has a chance to mature into one that has a chance to beat the 50-50 odds? How many spouses will be lost to death, incarceration, disease, disability, addiction after their children are born ?

Do we think about these personal sacrifices, these odds, before we have children? Of course not. If we thought about it, most humans would never have children. You probably wouldn't be here. Me, neither. So let's hear a cheer because "Love is blind"!

Is life hard for single moms? Yes, it's the hardest row to hoe. Is the world sympathetic? No. Not for the most part. But, in all fairness, the world stresses and strains with its own problems like "Will war pull the economy out of the tank?" Or " Can real men dye their gray hair to black?" Yes, the important stuff.

And the world says stupid things about us like, "Why did she have those kids if she couldn't feed them?" (Answer: "Real life is what happens when we've made other plans.") Or "The economy is in the tank so abandoned mothers can't get child support from the government." Or "The economy is robust so now abandoned mothers don't need child support from the government." Or "It's her fault that minimum wages don't pay the rent." Or...

Why? Because the world doesn't have good manners anymore. It doesn't mind making us feel bad as long as it feels better when it says stupid stuff. Yes, right on national TV!

And the world is lazy. If it can't blame us because we can't protect our children from predators it leaves on the mean streets, if we can't afford medical care or -you know- then that would mean the world would have to do something. Yes, to help us raise our children so that our children love the world. And don't hate the world. So that our children will creatively participate in the world. And not try to destroy that which they hate.

It's not hard to see. But the world doesn't want to see it these days. Can we fix this? I don't know.

But never mind. You have enough to do. Yeah, raising those precious babies. Just do the best you can. I will, too. And there are others like us. Lots and lots. You're not out here by yourself. We're here. And God knows what's happening. Yes, it's okay to ask for help. Nobody makes it without help. Especially from other mothers who already know that you can make it, Mom! Yes, even through this Christmas!! Really.

Now get going!

Brenda McCormick,
Executive Director
Mothers, Inc.
417 16th St.
Virginia Beach, VA 23451
phone: 233-7212 or
e-mail: mothers@cox.net

________________________________________________

Brenda McCormick, the foundress of "Mothers Incorporated" has assembled a network of volunteer mothers who serve the needy poor, including their children, in Virginia Beach, Virginia. A Christian of the evangelical tradition, she was inspired to begin this work through her deeply help convictions that the mandate of the Lord Jesus to love the poor, as particularly set forth in St. Matthew, Chapter 25 ("Whatever you did for the least of these...") was the mission of her life. She was also inspired by her experience with Mother Theresa. Mothers Incorporated has been dragged into Court by the City of Virginia Beach for using a personal residence to care for the poor. The "Common Good Legal defense Fund", an out reach of "Common Good", has come to her--and their---defense.

Contact

Mothers Incorporated
http://www.mothersinc2000.com VA, US
Brenda McCormick - Founder, Executive Director, 757 233-77212

Email

mothers@cox.net

Keywords

Mothers

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