Skip to main content

'I dreamt of becoming a mother. Now I feel like a murderer' Comments

British mother Hilary Freeman was set to welcome her daughter Elodie into the world - until she learned her child would be disabled and might only live briefly if born. She made the decision to abort her child - and has found no solace ever since. Continue Reading

31 - 40 of 50 Comments

  1. Julia
    2 years ago


    Well, first of all, thank you for telling your story. You could have kept it all to yourself. We may not share the same "skeletons" but everyone walking earth's surface has a story.

    Secondly, you probably were unable to capture the whole world of your emotions. That's the problem with paper and pen, in this case, typed words. Your story will always leave questions and comments open because that is human nature, we are all blessed with the gift of opinion. Please try and remember that when you read people's comments, that they are all coming from somewhere.

    Thirdly, I pray that God is with you and your family. Only He knows what mountains you have had to climb, and only He knows of all of us what is wrong and right. I'm sure there is nothing negative or positive that one can say that will overpower what you personally think.

    You are not alone. Everyone has a story. You are not better or worse than anyone out there, and I just wanted to remind you to please be kind to yourself in this your journey, and wherever it leads you, that you may find Peace in the King's arms.

    God bless.

  2. Hilary
    2 years ago

    Judy, I should just explain that I did not choose the title: that is done by the headline writers and I had no input into it.
    Thank you for not judging me. I suppose we will have to agree to differ on this. I made my decision after a great deal of research and discussion with doctors and experts. I am sorry to hear about your brother and your grandson.

  3. Hilary Freeman
    2 years ago

    Go to Heaven!

  4. Judy Claar
    2 years ago

    Hilary Freeman: I am sorry for your loss. I do not stand in judgment of you, for that alone is God's terrain. Only He can judge the heart. I only know that if I were in your position, my Choice would have been different. Life is a Gift. Life is Precious. If even just for four weeks.

    I used four weeks on purpose. My baby brother whom my mother Chose to give Life to, lived for only four weeks. He was born a Mongoloid w/a three chamber heart instead of a four chamber heart.
    I could go on...w/both the sadness and the Joy, but I won"t. I think just the true story speaks for itself.

    Almost three years ago, we lost our nine year old grandson to cancer. Michael was a living Saint to all of us. Over a year he fought the evil that invaded his poor little body. He was a Living Example to anyone and everyone he encountered. He exuded Love. He Loved Jesus, Mary, Joesph, and all the Saints. They were his examples...he was our living example. There is Not a day that goes by that we do not think of him. Love touched our lives...A Life touched our lives...and no sooner had we turned around, and he was gone.

    To me, through my personal experiences...let alone those I know w/challenging Love filled defect children, who would never change a moments decision to have their baby, such Joy do they have, I wonder about your decision? I realize that you live in a secular science sterile country,
    and were probably? perhaps? brought up that way? That is one of the reasons why I say only God may judge the heart. But, to us, who are True Practicing Catholics, who Know better, than to commit the sin of abortion, We will be held accountable to God. And there again, I do not judge. Catholics must however, in all legal and prayerful ways, try to stop abortion; especially on any Wholesale agenda.

    What is the difference between your abortion and that of my mother's live birth? She did not feel the poison chemicals go into her body to stop her baby's heart beat. She did not have to
    feel her baby kick in her womb for "life" until dead. Nature was responsible. Nature was Natural. Nature could have choose to miscarry your baby and Mom's, but it did not. We have sooo much medicine today, there is no reason really for anyone to suffer. (Yes, I factually know this).

    Lastly, i will address your title; I Dreamt of Becoming A Mother; Now I Feel Like A Murderer.
    I think you meant, that you: dreamt of becoming a mother of a perfect child. And now, since you aborted a physically defect child, who, from all heart and kicking expressions, appeared a normal live and love filled human infant Baby, you now feel like a murderer? I once again, am truly sorry for your loss. To write this article w/this title, Why Did You Write It?

  5. Vin
    2 years ago

    How convenient to say that this was a mercy killing. From the tone of the article, it appears the mercy was for the benefit of the adults involved, not the child. Disablility doesn't always come with physical pain, but the process of abortion has to. Just because you cannot hear the screams does not mean the babies don't feel the pain. Either you believe in God or you don't. If you do, murder is murder, if you don't, you can lean back on "mercy" killing to make yourself feel better. Pretty cowardly I think.

  6. lisa
    2 years ago

    what hilary did was the kindest action available and possible. rather than subjecting her daughter to a painful death at some stage, probably sooner than later and a tougher grieving process for all concerned she allowed her baby to pass away without any suffering. and she and her partner were able to hold and love elodie and take photographs to keep for posterity. why can you people not see this side of termination? you cannot judge. you cannot condemn her!!

  7. Hilary Freeman
    2 years ago

    Just to clarify: my daughter had NO chance of survival, which you will understand if you read my article properly and if you do any research on Trisomy 2 Mosaicism which is a condition incompatible with life. Had I continued with my pregnancy she would have either died in my womb or been born so prematurely that she would have died within hours or weeks. And she would have been hooked up to every machine in the hospital.
    My placenta was not functioning properly because of the trisomy too, so she was not growing properly or receiving the nutrients she needed. I was told very clearly by many experts that she had NO hope of life.
    I chose to end her life purely so that she did not suffer. Babies can't feel at 23 weeks, so she had NO pain. And for those of you who do not realise - going through a delivery is painful and traumatic for a baby. Why inflict that on her when she would only die anyway?
    I cannot believe that any God would rather that a child suffered for no reason.
    I also think that many of your comments are judgemental and lack compassion - which I believed were Christian values.
    My conscience is clear. My daughter will never know pain.
    You should be ashamed of yourselves for being so judgemental and cruel.

  8. MaryAnn
    2 years ago

    Abortions are never anything, but sad. This story is so, so sad. Clearly this was a child, not a 'clump of cells', just a child that had the misfortune to be identified as 'imperfect'.

  9. Claire
    2 years ago

    this article is absolutely sick and i hope it's removed especially since the woman is claiming she'd do it again. i'm just horrified and sick to my stomach. Father forgive us, for we know not what we do.

  10. Conscience
    2 years ago

    She has s indeed committed a murder in a moral sense. It does not matter that she 'feels solace'. She has killed her child. The fact that she says she would do it again shows that she has an incorrectly formed conscience. She will meet a terrible judgement after death.

Leave a Comment

Comments submitted must be civil, remain on-topic and not violate any laws including copyright. We reserve the right to delete any comments which are abusive, inappropriate or not constructive to the discussion.

Though we invite robust discussion, we reserve the right to not publish any comment which denigrates the human person, undermines marriage and the family, or advocates for positions which openly oppose the teaching of the Catholic Church.

This is a supervised forum and the Editors of Catholic Online retain the right to direct it.

We also reserve the right to block any commenter for repeated violations. Your email address is required to post, but it will not be published on the site.

We ask that you NOT post your comment more than once. Catholic Online is growing and our ability to review all comments sometimes results in a delay in their publication.

Send me important information from Catholic Online and it's partners. See Sample

Post Comment

Newsletter Sign Up

Saint of the Day

March 3 Saint of the Day

St. Katharine Drexel
March 3: Saint Katharine Drexel, Religious (Feast Day-March 3) Born in ... Read More