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Catholic, Gay, and Feeling Fine, Thanks: Part 1 Comments

The persecution and bigotry from both sides of the issue proceed, partly, from misunderstanding. Steve Gershom's simultaneous Catholicity and SSA are what is so compelling about his message. Ultimately he beautifully illustrates the tension between the beauty of faith and honest acknowledgment of the frail, wounded humanity in which we all live without pretending it does not exist or giving it sway over him. Continue Reading

61 - 70 of 118 Comments

  1. Theresa Zoe
    3 years ago

    What seems to be lacking in some understanding here is first of Steve's chosen lifestyle. Others have said and the article clearly did too: he abides by ALL the Church's teachings, lives his life in accord with them, and is not leading a "gay" lifestyle as we have come to see it in the mainstream secular culture. The second lack of understanding seems to be that SSA can be and is most normally very deep-rooted (as noted in the article) like any sexual sin that any of us can and probably do struggle with. How many saints struggled with doing the right and virtuous things? But we gain virtue in trying and fighting and seeking to become ever closer to the Lord in every action we perform and thought we have by living as He has instructed us. This is a Catholic issue because it involves people and the Church is all about people--bringing people to Christ through understanding, love, and mercy. Was Mary Magdalene not an adultress? Did Christ condemn her? No. He showed her understanding that He knew that there was more going on than just the sin she committed and then showed her mercy by inviting her to live a full life with Him. Do you think she never struggled with anything ever again? Yet she, who knew she was most in need of mercy, followed our Lord all the way to the Cross and wept there for Him and for her; she knew she was being redeemed. Because Steve has SSA, because he has a struggle, does that disqualify him from a life of happiness? He is happy as a chaste man with a struggle, just as all of us here are. It is time to put judgement aside and start seeing people instead of faults.

  2. Sydney
    3 years ago

    Kathy, you are missing the point about Same Sex Attraction if you believe a person can "repent" of it. It isn't something he's doing, so he can't be sorry for doing it. You acknowledge that he is celibate, but then say that Steve is "giving in to temptation" by having SSA. His attraction to men is simply a fundamental part of him, a part of the way God made him--the same way that he made me, a woman, attracted to men. In Steve's case, his God-given attraction is a cross to bear, in that he cannot act upon his SSA without violating Church teaching. Steve should be applauded for embracing celibacy and seeing that in giving him SSA, God has set him on the path of celibacy. He has done nothing wrong, and has nothing to repent. People who willfully misunderstand SSA, on the other hand, do need to prayerfully reflect upon their limited understanding. Perhaps it is you who needs to repent.

  3. Joe
    3 years ago


    It would benefit you a great deal to actually read what he has written. He does not give in to sexual temptation, and he holds that giving into those temptations are sins. Because he is celibate, he is committing no sin. As such, he has nothing to repent for. This is perfectly consistent with Catholic teachings. You seem to somehow think "gay" means he's having sex with men. He is not gay in this sense, nor does he approve of such behavior.

    He is also not saying he is happy and gay in the sense that he's happy To Be Gay. He does not want to be attracted to other men, nor does he think it's anything but a disability, but he cannot control what he is attracted to. He is "happy" in the sense that he is at peace with his disability---NOT that he Approves of or Wants his disability. He would no doubt give anything to not be gay. You act like if he just tried real hard he would stop being attracted to men. It's ridiculous.

  4. JeanCatherine
    3 years ago


    God Bless. Are you aware of the Courage Apostolate? Just inquiring.

  5. James Merton
    3 years ago

    Steve Gershom is an important figure in the Catholic Church today, and especially in the blogosphere. In a world where the two prominent Christian opinions on the Internet are “You’re going to burn in hell.” and “This is how God made you, sleep with every man you meet.” it's refreshing to see someone with same-sex attraction and committed to living a chaste life.

  6. Anonymous
    3 years ago

    Kathy, your quotation is wrong. His blog is called "Catholic, Gay and Feeling Fine, Thanks". And what you can conclude from that is many different things if you choose to be ignorant and judge his content based on the title alone. I was always taught that you should never judge a book by its dad also used to say "you know what happens when you assume, right? you make an "a@$" of "u" and "me"". Well, that's just what you've done. His blog indicates that he is Catholic (honors the traditions and teachings of the Holy Mother Church), Gay (is a man with same sex attraction), and Feeling Fine (not allowing that temptation to dominate his life/make him miserable). The title indicates that one does not have to be ruled by one's temptations. And even in the face of temptation, we can have joy in our lives. You said earlier that you would not read parts two or three, but it is clear that you haven't thoroughly read part one. Remember also that this is an article written BY someone ABOUT someone. While I personally think Sonja did a wonderful job and that this article was timely and important, the best person to represent Steve is Steve. If you haven't read his blog, you have no place commenting on it. I will end by saying that I am sorry to have lashed out and attacked. That was unchristian of me. Obviously, this is an issue that is close to my heart. Let me take this opportunity to explain why the faithful SSA members of the church should speak out. When I was a teenager, say 12-14, I began wrestling with this cross that I now call SSA. I had the advantage of being raised by a strong catholic family in a good catholic school. Heterosexual chastity was a regular topic. But mentioning SSA was unheard of. It was so taboo that no one would dare mention it, even if they had questions about how to deal with it. I became so ashamed of it that I never confessed it, even when it crossed the boundaries into sinfulness. I pretended to be normal and dated girls, while living a secret double life. It wasn't until I met my wife and began dating her that anyone had even asked me if I was "bisexual". I began to be open with her and then with a priest. I began to find ways to subdue it, then to overcome it. Now, I am practically an expert in avoiding the near occasion of this sin. But it wasn't until I revealed it - flaunted it, as you call it - that I was able to access the help I needed. In our society, we don't look down on a recovering alcoholic who says "this is my story, how I defeated my demon, I hope it helps you overcome yours." How many young anonymous teens are out there looking for that inspiration. That person who says you can be catholic, deal with SSA, and rise above a life of despair. I am Catholic. I am happy. I am blessed. I have SSA. I hope that some distraught teenager can look past the liberal media, past judgements and ignorant statements like those that have appeared here, and find statements like mine and Steve's. And I hope they find encouragement in their journeys. Please, consider your approach and acknowledge that sin is darkness, shame and denial while Grace is light, truth, beauty and encouragement.

  7. Bulbajer
    3 years ago

    Kathy, did you read the article? Don't judge a book by its cover. Having same-sex attraction isn't something that can be helped.

  8. Rob
    3 years ago

    I don't know Kathy, I suspect that this guy is probably living a more chaste life than half the Catholic men you run into. Given the pervasive use of pornography (it's not a multibillion dollar industry for nothing), chastity is something lost on our culture. But yet we are never up in arms about that. We focus on this one segment but someone overlook the depravity that is all around us.

  9. Paul
    3 years ago

    I am blown away at the hatred toward those who are trying to stand up for God. Sonya, I am sure that you hold a few degrees, but lack a degree in common sense. You are exacerbating an issue on a website, that people go to for peace. Maybe this should have been taken to a Gay website.

    As far as the young man who is in the center of all of this "Steve", well, my opinion is that you enjoy the attention that you are getting. You struggle with SSA. People struggle with that, drugs, drinking, porno, lying, cheating, gambling...etc. You also stated that you are overweight. I take it you have been subjected to name calling...etc. Well man, who hasn't!

    If you were to wake up tomorrow, and the SSA was gone, then, you might have to reach down into yourself and pull out something of value. Your problem is that you are keeping your eyes on self, and as long as you do this, you have the attention you want or think you need...the blog you seem to love. You are telling us, that you have nothing else to offer but your addiction to SSA. That is sad.

    Take your eyes off yourself, there are other things to blog about...the homeless, the poor, women in crisis, children in crisis, the hungry, the elderly, animal shelters. Maybe it would do you good to lose the weight, and say, I am a man of God, who will not be labeled SSA.

    You seem to like the labels that you have put on yourself, but I am sure, that you have more to offer than just that.

    This article brought out a few who have defended the cross of Christ. I applaude them!

  10. Judy
    3 years ago

    Kathy: Excellent point! discerning between one being "Happy", or "Gay and Happy". You Clarified in those words what I missed. We all learn here. Blessings always...

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