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They Say Marriage is a Dying Institution: What's Really Dying is Love Comments

The pronouncement came from actress Cameron Diaz and psychiatrist Dr. Keith Ablow last week:  marriage is a dying institution. Dr. Ablow blames its demise on government, contraception, disappearing passion and the mockery of divorce. What he never mentions is Love. Marriage will only die if we give up the struggle of love. Continue Reading

11 - 20 of 52 Comments

  1. Cheryl
    3 years ago

    I wish Diaz and Ablow were blessed like me to witness my parents marriage of almost 35 years (as Dad passed away just before 35th yr) or my grand parents or my aunt having 50 years together......

    Their struggles and commitment and care and value for each other and their children are a source of inspiration to us the younger generation.

    Ablow and Diaz , you miss the meaning and the reason for marriage...its more than the 'externals' you see these days.....

  2. DLL
    3 years ago

    In a Holy Marriage Christ is a part of every marriage,as he is Priest that prevails and binds every Marriage in a Holy commitment to obey God by a sacred oath to each other and before God,to love honor and cherish each other,that makes for Marriage as sacrament. In the Eucharist all are married to a commitment to love and obey God through the power of the Holy Spirit,with the same obedience as Christ exercised,as he was perfectly obedient to the will of God,as well as pleasing to God in all of his ways. Christ is part of every Holy Marriage and binds that marriage to a faith community,in communion with other like minded couples,that are committed to a Holy Catholic and Apostolic Christian tradition,bound together as a Eucharistic family,dedicated to obeying God until death do them part. Christ is Priest,Prophet and the King of all creation. Marriage is given it's validity as vocation through the Priesthood of Christ,who presides over every marriage,through the sacrament of Holy Orders. Men and Women commit to Christ to obey God throughout a lifetime as Christ did,so Christ is in essence,the very meaning of Marriage itself. Through a prophetic sense,we can predict that the King of Creation,will bless a couple and their offspring during a Holy commitment to love,honor and cherish each other for an entire lifetime. God blesses and is part of every marriage,as a couple are obedient to God in a loving commitment to each other and in Christ,through the power of the Holy Spirit,that forms this binding,and loving commitment of a Man and Woman to each other and to their eventual family of children,as God blesses and loves all children. One committed to be married in A Holy Catholic Marriage,is through this one sacrament,also committed to love and obey every sacrament of the Church,in so doing,all learn that to love and obey God is the true meaning of what it is to be truly free.The freedom I am speaking of is a freedom to love God and each other as Christ is a part of all of us and has loved all even to death,a humiliating death on a cross. I hope that some of these reflections can help Mr Maas to understand why marriage is great,as well as marriage is a great vocation,that is meant to bind all families with a spirit to lovingly commit to each other,in a pure and loving relationship,truly beneficial to each and every couple,so committed,as well a to the entire society of humanity as
    a whole.

  3. Theresa
    3 years ago

    One way of looking at the question (why didn't Jesus marry if marriage is so great) might be: If Jesus had married, could he have embraced all of us as He did, as only He could?

  4. JeanCatherine
    3 years ago

    Albert F. Maas

    Well Albert I really dont have answer as to why our Lord wasnt married but I can tell He was like mortal men. So therein lies the mystery as to why our Lord didnt have to marry and by the way He was and is the Living Word therefor he is Lord of the Law in the bible as well.

    Therefore maybe He knows something of the mystery of Celibacy. Remember we can do nothing without Him. I think that our Priests have nothing to fear of the virtue of Chastity even in these immoral days as our Lady has warned us of.

    I think a Priest can be celibate and married to the Church. Especially if he is connected to our Lord Jesus Christ in the Eucharist. When were of so little faith is it no wonder we fail in our everyday lives? When you have the true Priest anything is possible. Love Him and He will help you prevail. The world thinks in these petty ways that one cannot survive in Chastity and Celibacy because it doesnt understand the most beautiful gifts from Heaven from our Lord Jesus Christ, The Holy Spirit and The Father. The world knows only of the world but the bride, she knows who her Spouse is and what He can do for her.

  5. Mariza
    3 years ago

    It's not the marriage itself that is wrong, but the current society's definition of love. Pure love doesn't have much things to do with passion or sexual life all the time. Marriage is an institution of living love, it's not when two people's love journey has come to end, but the beginning of a united love in Christ. Nowadays more people find love to be expressed in sex life, expensive gifts, or any kind of finite things. If only we could look back at the definition of love according to St.Paul: "Love is patient, kind, without envy. It is not boastful or arrogant. It is not ill-mannered nor does it seek its own interest. Love overcomes anger and forgets offenses. It does not take delight in wrong, but rejoices in truth. Love excuses everything, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love will never end." (1 Cor 13:4-8a). Do we all dare to say that we can practice this kind of love?

  6. jerzy gawor
    3 years ago

    Just a note in response to Albert F. Maas:

    Albert, these are questions I would expect from someone who has little or no knowledge of the Catholic Faith and who does not understand that the Vocation of the Catholic Priest finds its fullfilment in total commitment and service to Jesus Christ and His Church.

    Perhaps you should look for these answers, if indeed your questions are meant in a genuine spirit of enquiry, in other pages to be found on this website, or in Catholic questions & answers on line.

    God Bless.

  7. Dom Elias Carr
    3 years ago

    I want to thank the author for addressing one of the greatest and most tragic aspects of life today. She has accurately diagnosed the problem: a lack of love. The problem, though, has to do with negative tendencies within our constitutional order. Liberal democracy has failed miserably to provide an adequate moral and legal framework in which family life can flourish and marriage is supported, sustained and nurtured. On the contrary, the incentive structure favors a radical individualism that undercuts human commitments that require sacrifice, self-renunciation, delayed gratification, in a word, the love that makes life possible. Of course many spouses struggle with marital fidelity. There was no Golden Age. But the Gospel dignified marriage by recognizing and sanctifying the foundation of human society, namely, the life-long, exclusive bond between a man and a women. Eliminating this institution is hardly a mature or a wise solution. Just because one gets sick from time to time does not mean that life itself is the problem. The destruction of marriage in the last fifty years can be conceptualized in steps that reflect changing norms of social acceptance and new patterns of behavior. First phase, divorce and re-marriage(s) become laudable expressions of self-fulfiment (no one should ever be unhappy). Second phase, cohabitation replaces marriages because young people don't want to live through the horror of divorce. Third stage, people cease to cohabitate altogether, but rather engage in casual contraceptive sexual relationships (perhaps a woman decides to get a child along the way from one of these encounters), focus on career, on leisure and on travel, and finally grow old, alone, expecting society to care for them. Have we reached phase three? I think each person can best answer that question based on their social network and on their life world. Sadly it is all too clear.

  8. PhilipEdmund
    3 years ago

    This doc is just reporting the facts, how it is, not how it should be. Clearly something is wrong with marriage. Is it the institution, how we perceive it, or maybe we just dont understand it. I dont know, but something is wrong.

  9. jerzy gawor
    3 years ago

    Robert Browning puts it so beautifully when he writes:

    "Grow old along with me!
    The best is yet to be,
    The last of life, for which the first was made:
    Our times are in his hand
    Who saith, ``A whole I planned,
    Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!''

  10. Gina Marie
    3 years ago

    Thank you, Ms. Hartline, for the excellent article that really highlights the empty and nihilistic arguments of the far left. What the Doctor is really criticizing is traditional marriage and heterosexual love. His implication is that marriage needs a "do-over." And his do-over would be same sex marriage, polygamy, and whatever else would suit his fancy. The Catholic church knows to do things right: one man and one woman for life. No divorce. No contraception for convenience sake. And no adultery. Marriage will not die because the church will not let it die. Love will find a way, in spite of the world trying to make lust take its place.

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