The first is sin. Before there is a spiritual falling away, there is usually a moral falling away. A pattern of unrepented sin opens up a gap between the person and God.

The second reason is that the young person "never personally grasped the meaning of the faith." Religion was for them a set of external behaviors done to please someone else, not a living relationship with the living God.

The third reason is intimately linked with the second: The young person did not have a personal prayer life.

"Not praying," Father Thwaites says, "will not, of itself, kill the spiritual life. Only serious sin does that. But the absence of any prayer life will so weaken the spiritual life, that it will be unable to meet the onslaughts of a pagan world. What food and drink is to the body, prayer is to the soul."

And so we must teach our children to pray. We can teach them short prayers to pray upon waking in the morning ("Good morning, Lord; thank you for this day; help me to serve you today"). We can encourage them to form the habit of spending at least 5-10 minutes in prayer at the start of the day. We can teach them to pray conversationally, talking to Jesus as if he were right there with them (which, of course, he is).

We can give them aids to prayer. One of my favorites is Thoughts of the Cure of Ars, published by Tan—a little book containing hundreds of short spiritual reflections (great prayer-starters) by St. John Vianney. We can give them a page of classic Catholic prayers that they can carry folded up in their wallet or purse (my page includes the Prayer of St. Francis, Anima Christi, The Breastplate of St. Patrick, the St. Michael the Archangel prayer, and The Memorare.)

We can teach them a pattern of praying, such as beginning with prayers of thanksgiving and then praying prayers of petition. We can help them understand that God always answers our prayers but according to his perfect will. (Sometimes the answer is "yes," sometimes "no," sometimes "wait.")

We should also teach our children to look carefully for the ways God may be acting in their lives. An answer to prayer may take the form of a "chance" comment someone makes to us. It may take the form of an obstacle God puts in our path to keep us from doing something that would not be good for us.

In encouraging our students to pray, we should point to the example of Jesus. His forty days in the desert were consecrated to prayer. Before he chose the twelve apostles, Jesus passed the whole night in prayer to the Father (Lk 6:12). He prayed before Peter's confession, before the Transfiguration, at the Last Supper, in Gethsemane, and on Calvary.

Prayer and the Eucharist

There is no more important opportunity for prayer, for deep communion with Christ, than when we have received him Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity in the Eucharist. But young people won’t pray in this way if they don’t believe in the Real Presence.

When my wife and I taught CCD in our home to a group of eighth-graders, we sought to strengthen their faith in the Real Presence by giving each one a copy of the story of the Eucharistic Miracle at Lanciano. Around the year 700, a Basilian monk in Lanciano begged God to remove his doubts that at the consecration, the bread and wine became the Body and Blood of Christ. One day, as he said the words of the consecration, the bread literally changed into Flesh and the wine into Blood, which coagulated into five globules.

The changed substances were not consumed but placed into a precious ivory container. They may be seen to this day at the Church of St. Francis in Lanciano. In 1970, a team of medical experts was asked by the Vatican to determine the true nature of the elements. Their findings: "The Flesh is human flesh, the tissue of the human heart, and the Blood is human blood." Our 8th-grade students said their faith in the Real Presence was strengthened by the account of this miracle.

We can offer our children prayers that will help them make the most of their time with Jesus after receiving Holy Communion. The Anima Christi (see sidebar) is a great one.

Setting the Example

Finally, our children must see that prayer is important to us. Theresa, a Catholic mother of four who is devout in her faith, recalls her father:

Dad always closes his letters with, “Work hard and pray a lot.” This never sounds phony because it's what he does. He has worked hard all his life. He built the two homes we lived in and did all the repairs. And he prays throughout the day. He’d lead us kids in the Rosary as he drove us to school and would make visits to the Blessed Sacrament whenever he could. My most powerful image of my father is of catching him kneeling at the foot of his bed, late at night before he retired, saying his personal prayers.

Communication is essential for any relationship. “Draw near to God,” the Bible says, “and he will draw near to you” (James 4:8). Prayer is the way we build a relationship with God. If we want to help our kids develop a faith that endures, we must teach them to pray.

Sidebar:

Anima Christi

Soul of Christ, sanctify me.
Body of Christ, save me.
Blood of Christ, inebriate me.
Water from the side of Christ, wash me.
Passion of Christ, strengthen me.
O good Jesus, hear me.
Within thy wounds, hide me.
Suffer me not to be separated from thee.
From the malicious enemy defend me.
In the hour of my death call me
And bid me come unto thee,
That with the saints I may praise thee
For ever and ever. Amen.